Page 32 of Choosing Her Earl at Last
A large part of that time had been spent wandering the market for a slim chance that she might see Martha Gouldsmith, and the rest had been spent attempting to decipher her father’s code. Part of her felt that if she could figure that out, it would somehow aid her in finding Rebecca. “It has been a source of frustration for me.”
Louisa nodded her head in understanding. “Are you certain that the message is indeed meant for you?”
“Why else would he have given me the pendant? He could have given it to my mother or Rebecca, yet he gave it to me. I cannot think but that he meant for me to solve it. I may be meant to share its message with others once it is translated, but he clearly believed that I was capable of reading it. I feel as if I am disappointing him in my inability.”
“From all that you have told me, your father seems to have been a very precise man. I cannot imagine him leaving you a message that you cannot read. You simply have yet to find the key. My question is, why did he wait until his death to leave it to you? Why did he not give it to you while he was alive? Or at the very least, inform you of its hidden message?” Louisa shook her head. “I do not understand his motivation for such secrecy.”
Emmeline shook her head. “I do not know. Father was indeed meticulous when it came to his riddles. He would always take into account the knowledge and intellect of the person or persons that his riddles were meant for. He somehow always knew how to balance a challenge with an answer.”
She thought back to the last time that she had spoken with her father. He had been almost apologetic that she had been forced to wed Norman for the sake of the family. “Perhaps he waited until after his death to leave me the pendant because he had become aware of Norman’s duplicity.”
Louisa’s brows rose in question. “Do you think that he knew about the marquess’ financial state? Do you think that he learned of it after your marriage and feared that he would sell the pendant?”
“It is possible. The last time that my father visited me in Scotland, he had been different, subdued, regretful even. I did not understand the change in him at the time, but we had been apart for so long that I thought it was simply a consequence of my own bitterness over my marriage. Perhaps there was more that he wished to say but did not know how …” Emmeline’s words faded as her mind slipped back in time to that day.
“When my family visited, it was one of the few times that Norman would devote his time and attention. Come to think of it, he always wanted to read my letters to my family before I sent them, and their letters when they arrived as well. He would say that it was because they were his family now, too.”
Louisa frowned. “It sounds more like control than care to me.”
“I thought it was strange, but our marriage was so cold that I appreciated any kindness that was offered.” Upon hearing her own words, Emmeline felt rather pathetic.
“Perhaps your father did not feel that it was safe to tell you anything about his intentions where the pendant was concerned. Perhaps he knew that your husband would interfere. Themarquess did keep you away from all of us.” The hurt in Louisa’s voice struck Emmeline’s heart.
“I am sorry,” Emmeline breathed, reaching out to take Louisa’s hand. Her chest felt as if someone were sitting on it. “I did not intend to cause anyone pain. I could only see my own at the time and did not realize just how duplicitous and controlling my husband truly was.”
“You do not owe me or anyone else an apology. You did what you had to do. We women are not allotted the same freedoms as men. We are bound by their rules and control from the moment that we are born until the day that we die. I was fortunate enough to have wed a man who truly loved me and respected me for what I brought to our union.”
She gave Emmeline’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “There is nothing to forgive you for. My pain is for what you suffered without the loving support that you deserved.”
Emmeline’s attention was turned from their conversation upon spying Michael approaching their place along the wall. As the earl came to stand in front of them, eyes turned in their direction.
“Ladies,” Michael greeted cordially, inclining his head to Louisa in acknowledgement. “Has there been any news?”
Emmeline shook her head. “No, nothing yet.” She glanced at the people around them, their staring gazes making her nervous. “You should ask Louisa to dance,” she abruptly instructed him, catching him off guard.
“I beg your pardon,” he frowned in confusion. He looked about to say something else, but stopped himself.
“Your standing here with us is drawing everyone’s attention. We should be blending in so that our absence is not noticed when we meet with the coachman. You should be dancing with the beautiful young ladies of theton,as are all of the other duty-bound gentlemen,” Emmeline explained.
“I do not dance,” Michael informed her sternly.
“You used to,” Emmeline reminded him.
“That was a long time ago.”
“Perhaps you are afraid that you have forgotten how? As I recall, time could only have improved upon your skill.” Emmeline could not seem to help herself in pushing against his well-constructed walls. She had no patience in that moment for his cold, reserved distance. There was too much at stake, and her heart was filled with too much pain to hold anymore.
Michael gave her a warning look. “While a younger me would have risen to your challenge, my lady, I am no longer a lovestruck boy intent on earning a lady’s favor. Once a man has been acquainted with the fickle heart of a devious woman, he is seldom inclined to fall prey to such distractions as love again. If you are concerned about blending in, why not dance yourself?”
Emmeline fought the urge to slap him, while at the same time wishing that he would just pull her into his arms and kiss her like he used to. Her chest tightened with unexpected longing as she remembered how they had once been together.
When he had held her in his arms and swept her around during their dancing lessons as children, it was as if every part of her would come alive. She had not felt that alive in a very long time. Forcing her heart and mind back into the present, she gestured toward her half-mourning attire.
“I am a widow in mourning. Such an act would draw more attention than is desired. I do not wish to tarnish my reputation by acting against the constraints of society in such a public fashion, besmirching mine and my family’s honor.”
“Honor? I would think that dishonesty and abandoning a promised love would be far more dishonorable than a simple dance.”
Michael’s words hurt like a slap to the face, and Emmeline took a step back against the wall to keep from staggering with the force of his vehemence. Before she was able to summon an appropriate response, Colin appeared at Michael’s side.
