Page 44 of The Duke and the Enigmatic Governess
Had she heard the words correctly? He wished she would stay? Her heart flipped in a tiny somersault, but she knew now was the time to be honest.
“At the end of June. Yes, Your Grace, my plans are unchanged.” It was difficult to find the words to continue. “A lot has happened to me in the last weeks. I never expected to leave my childhood home of Rowton Castle. I expected to be in London, meeting people, having a season in society,” she paused, her voice emotional. “My brother took that away from me. He took control of the household and my future. I have no idea if my inheritance still exists or not. My friend Mrs. Weston is convinced that it remains intact, and I need to find that out with urgency.”
“You may still have an inheritance?” he asked gently.
“It is possible. Until Ethan told me I had to marry the Duke of Batton there were no indications of financial issues at the castle.It’s possible he lost money gambling, but my settlement, my money, would be separate and Ethan should be unable to touch it.
“I’m happy as a governess. I love being with Sasha. Yet I need space and time to consider who I am. I feel like I’ve been tossing and turning on a stormy ocean and I need to find a safe harbor to think. I’ll go to my friend and stay with her while I find my feet.”
The duke said nothing, listening intently.
“I need to make some decisions, make my own decisions about life,” and, with momentary bitterness, Audrey continued, “without being controlled by a man.” Ethan had caused her distress and total upheaval in her life. The idea of marrying an older man, approaching sixty, whom she had only met once had been an anathema, a totally unacceptable course in life.
She felt a change, felt his arm stiffen at her words. He let go of her arm and took a step away. “My apologies Madam. I merely enquired if you still planned to leave. Indeed, I expressed my hope that you had changed your mind and decided to stay.”
In confusion, Audrey stared at him speechless, unsure what had happened. It must have been something she said? His words continued, while she stood, rooted to the spot.
“I struggle to understand how you believe that I would want to exert any control over you, not after the time we spent togetherin London. We went through some dark days together and I felt that had brought a certain trust. You must know you would be safe here at Clairville, with my family, and with my support.”
“But …” Audrey was struggling to find her voice.
“More than anything, I do not understand how you can abandon Sasha this way. That little girl depends on us. You know she does.”
Tears streaming down her face, Audrey finally found words to defend herself. “I cannot believe you can say such things. I have cared for Sasha since the night I saw her racing after her mother into the path of your carriage. I do not need to defend myself to you. All I need is time to recover, and rebuild my life, after my brother destroyed it. I have no intention of losing contact with Sasha. However, I am Lady Audrey Rowe, and I cannot stay disguised as Miss Lettie Banks forever. Even you must be able to see that, Your Grace.”
“All I can see is someone who twists and misinterprets the truth, and is living a lie.”
The words stung and Audrey flinched at their impact. Her breath caught in her throat, and she felt as though the world was spinning around her.
“Very well,” she managed to say, with quiet dignity, despite the tumult of emotions. “I understand what you are saying. Ipromise to leave as soon as you locate a new governess. I’ll speak to your mother about it tomorrow.”
And with those words she turned on her heel and walked away from the duke. She found herself walking in the direction of the wood, and continued until she was in a tiny clearing, surrounded by a canopy of trees. Audrey collapsed onto the moss, heaving sobs wracking through her body. How could he be so cruel? How could he believe that of her character?
And she loved him. She recognized in the clearing in that ancient wood that she loved him, and there was no hope that he would ever return her love. As the sun shone through the leaves of the trees she shivered despite its warmth.
She was Lady Audrey Rowe, and she would keep her dignity, and continue in her role as governess, until a replacement was found. Sasha had a new family and sisters and a grandmother in The dowager duchess, who doted on her. She would grow and thrive in a happy place and that was all that mattered to Audrey as she made her way back to the house.
Chapter 17
Jude was filling his days with estate business, glad to have the arrival of his attorney, and friend, Daniel as a distraction. They spent hours in the library working through estate ledgers, planning renovations and future directions. Jude hoped to buy a run-down neighboring estate and there was much legal work needed before the purchase could proceed.
He succeeded in avoiding Lady Audrey, their paths had not crossed since the incident the previous week. He had been mistaken in her, totally taken in by what seemed like kindness to Sasha.
When her face intruded into his thoughts, as it did quite often, then he forcefully pushed it aside. He had even begun to consider a future with Lady Audrey, but all she just saw him as a controlling, calculating man like her brother.
Daniel had brought news of some progress with the search to find Sasha’s family. It seemed likely the family had gone into hiding after abandoning their property, a chateau in the southern Loire Valley.
The property had been taken into government hands, but locals in the area had recognized descriptions of Sasha and her mother. The lady of the chateau had indeed been an opera singer in Paris before marrying the Marquis, so there was a possibility this was Sasha’s family.
The father had disappeared in the first wave of the French Revolution and was widely believed to be dead. If this is her family, then Sasha is Comtesse Alexandra Emillion, with very historic French and Austrian ancestors.
“My investigator thinks that there might be an elderly grandmother, living in exile in Italy, but so far he has had no success in locating her,” Daniel informed Jude.
Jude was relieved, he very much hoped that Sasha would stay at Clairville, as a ward of the family. Yet he knew it would help the child, if in the future she knew her family, and the bravery of her mother, trying to escape from terror in France and forge a new life in England.
Despite his anger towards Audrey, he instructed Daniel to make enquiries into Lady Audrey Rowe and her financial situation. This was clearly something which was unclear and troubling her. He suggested talking with Mrs. Weston, who might have specific information. Had the Duke of Cheshire been gambling away his family fortune at the card tables? Was that why he had been determined to marry his sister to the Duke of Batton?
Daniel made notes, “You’re sure you want me to look into this?” he queried, quill pen scratching on parchment paper. “This young woman is a governess here and has already given notice of her intention to leave. Why waste good money on this?”
