Page 43 of The Duke and the Enigmatic Governess
“Lettie, I’m sorry. We’re in such a state of upheaval. The last guests leave today.” She stopped and looked around her, speaking in a whisper. “I must say I’ve got quite used to Lady Caroline being in residence at Clairville. If His Grace decides to take her as his bride, then I think we’ll get on very well. She has high standards, but isn’t too demanding.”
Audrey felt a pang of sadness at the idea of Lady Caroline, installed as Duchess of Clairville. Imagining her standing on the grand staircase with the duke, greeting guests arriving for a ball.
“She’s a very elegant lady. I’m sure she will make a perfect duchess,” was all Audrey could think of to say, her mind filled with emotional turmoil.
“I must go. It’s refreshments for their journey home. Her ladyship asked that cook prepare a picnic for the journey. I’ll catch up with you later. You’ll join me to take tea this afternoon?”
“Of course. I’ll look forward to that.”
“I’m taking this afternoon as quiet time. Tomorrow the preparations begin for the ball.”
“A ball?” queried Audrey, “Here?”
“Indeed. We are to host a ball in honor of Miss Elspeth’s first season approaching. Her ladyship has done this for all her daughters. This time it’s a Celestial Ball, with the signs of the Zodiac as the theme. It’s a lot of work and preparation, but Miss Elspeth is such a lovely girl, and she’ll appreciate all the effort we put into it.”
Audrey thought of the balls she had attended as Lady Audrey. Those days were gone, but she missed the quadrille and the new waltz. She needed to get out into the fresh air and refresh her thinking. Lack of sleep had made her brain sluggish and slow, and she hurried to the boot room, and the freedom of the garden and park. Nurse Walters was right, she had not fully recovered from the scarlet fever.
As she took the path towards the lake, she felt her head was clearing, and her emotional reaction, to the idea of the duke taking Lady Caroline as his new duchess, had calmed.
As she walked, she felt relief knowing her thoughts were now clearer. She needed to control the emotional responses to the thought of the duke considering Lady Caroline as his new duchess. Her relationship with His Grace was purely professional and her position in this household was as governess.
I need to accept that, she thought,this misery I’m feeling is pointless.
Passing through the remains of the May event showground there was little left of the festivities. Audrey closed her eyes, remembering little Sasha dancing with her crown of flowers. A simple country celebration of spring, which had brought happiness to those attending.
All alone in the center stood the maypole. She walked towards it, imagining the rhythmic music, and for the first time noticed the intricate carving on the wooden pole. The workmanship of the artisans was phenomenal, with carved flowers and animals stretching upwards to the sky. She placed her hand on it, feeling the warmth of the wood and tracing the pattern of a daisy, with its perfect circle of petals.
She took a ribbon and closed her eyes, twirling the strand of silk around her fingers. Hearing the music in her mind her feet found the steps, and she began to dance, winding the ribbon as she slowly moved around the maypole.
This salute to the morning May sunshine refreshed her as she completed her first circle, and she reached to change to a different colored ribbon. All her life at Rowton Castle she had enjoyed the May dancing, the changing of the seasons, and the promise of summer and a bountiful harvest.
She regretted having avoided the May event here, staying in her room, worried her identity would be discovered. As she skipped and twirled around the pole, she knew it no longer mattered. She had nothing to be ashamed of and she needed to be proud of who she was, a lady of the ton.
For a moment, she felt a pang of sadness, remembering again, Lady Caroline, proud and elegant as the duke’s May Queen. This time, recognizing her jealousy she pushed it away. Therewas no need for jealousy and her path was set in a different direction. Tomorrow she would contact Franny, and ask her if she could take up her offer to stay, while she made plans for her future. Nothing would make her return to the control and fear at Rowton Castle.
Almost in a trance, Audrey continued to weave her way around the maypole and then, sensing someone had joined her, she opened her eyes, momentarily dazzled by the glare of the rising sun. A figure walked towards her, emerging from the hazy sunlight, reaching for a ribbon, and joining in the simple steps of the dance.
His eyes met hers, eyebrows raised in a quizzical, questioning expression. Audrey knew that she could rest in the gaze of those eyes forever. As they moved towards each other their ribbons met and knotted high above in a woven, connected pattern.
The duke nodded at Audrey and offered his arm, gesturing towards the lake, where Tess ran ahead, towards the woodland path. With a brief curtsey, she took his arm and they walked together.
“The guests have left,” she began, realizing, as she spoke, that she had reverted back to being Lady Audrey, making conversation with a gentleman of her acquaintance. She did not wish to return to the acrimony of their last conversation.
“Every guest will be gone within the hour,” he replied, pausing to throw a stick for Tess, who chased off into the distance again. “It will always be busy here, my mother is the perfect hostess and enjoys entertaining, but for my part I am glad of a few days peace and quiet.”
“Lady Caroline Ridlington is a fine lady,” added Audrey. “Will she return soon?”
“Certainly for the Zodiac Ball. We expect the Ridlingtons to return in a fortnight as house guests for Elspeth’s ball.”
“Mrs. Driscoll told me about the ball. It’s a wonderful theme, the stars, the sun and the planets and the signs of the Zodiac. I must confess that’s new to me, I need to find out more about that ancient system of birthdates.”
“Ah, I’m sure my mother and Elspeth will tell you everything you need to know. They tell me I am Pisces, which explains my love of swimming and lakes. And here we are, approaching the lake, and what a sight with the morning sum glistening on its surface.”
Audrey drew a breath. The surface of the lake looked as though it was covered with glittering silver spangles, as the sun’s rays reflected on the water. “It’s wonderful,” she agreed, “quite a celestial sight.” She smiled up at him.
Their eyes met and the world, in that moment felt right. She was where she wanted to be, and the warmth from the feel of his arm, above hers, grew stronger as they stopped walking to take in the view of the lake.
His next words broke into her thoughts, like a rusty, jagged blade. “Are you still planning to leave?” Then, almost inaudibly, “I wish you would stay.”
