Page 64 of Beneath the Beastly Duke's Mask
Everything was so neat, without a flower or plant out of place. The duke's gardener preferred a well-organized garden to allow everything to grow as it wished. The flowers and plants were pruned to an inch of their lives, but it yielded an increase that ensured flowers bloomed every year. It was a lot like people.
Going through certain experiences were necessary—toils and tribulations, losses, gains, sudden changes—these all came together to create a cultivated person, temperate in all things. Thinking like this had helped her get through the loss of her parents.
Everything happened for a reason and for her good, so it was just a matter of waiting to see what her loss yielded. However, Arabella would have much rather had her parents with her, than whatever else lay in her future.
A thorny rose bush caught her coat sleeve as she took a corner, forcing her to pause and carefully detach herself. She didn't want the thorns to snag the material and make little runs in them—it would cheapen the look of the coat. Arabella set herself free, steering clear of the roses and approaching the hedges and trees, trimmed to look unnatural but pleasing to the eye. Arabella's favorite was the family of five trees grouped together and shaped into hearts. They surrounded a water fountain of a nearly nude maiden pouring water from a pot.
Several feet away lay her partner, a statue of a young man holding a flower with a look of anticipation on her face. She had once asked the duke why he didn't put them closer together.
His answer had surprised her. He had said that the young man's expression of anticipation changed meaning when he was beside the maiden. Instead of the anticipation of seeing his loved one, it becomes a carnal anticipation because she is scantily clad while he is covered with a tunic and breeches.
It was indecent to put them together. Now that she carefully looked at them, she could see what he meant. Arabella smiled. A man concerned with keeping the decency of statues was a good man at heart. It was no wonder that she fell for him.
Sighing, Arabella stopped at a bench and sat down, hissing slightly as the cold penetrated her clothing. The seat was also slightly damp from the morning dew, but Arabella didn't mind too much. The coldness would keep her from getting too comfortable and losing track of time as she enjoyed the early morning.
Scooting a little further back on the bench, Arabella kicked her legs back and forth—one of the advantages of being short. Almost every seat was a little too high for her feet to fully rest on the ground or floor, so she usually took advantage of that and lightly swung her feet back and forth.
It was certainly better than feeling uncomfortable trying to keep her feet planted on the floor. A bird settled on a branch above her head, prompting her to move to the side of the seat for fear of its droppings.
The birds on Euston Estate had a nasty habit of relieving themselves on the heads of unsuspecting workers, forcing them to wear hats or suffer the need to wash their heads. Considering most of them didn't fancy bathing much, it was torture to rid themselves of birds' droppings.
Looking around her, Arabella realized how much affection she had for the land. It was a place where she had spent months of her life learning new skills, making new friends and enemies, and falling in love with a man with the loveliest heart she had ever met. Euston had become her home, but she was afraid she could no longer remain on the estate.
Arabella was worried another rumor would be spread about her; one the duke would not be able to save her from. She was still quite fragile after experiencing the near hatred of the many people she knew in Thetford, people who seemed to turn their backs on her based on a groundless rumor. It shouldn't have been that easy to believe the lies, not when they had known her since childhood.
If people were so ready to accept the worst of her without waiting to hear her side of the story, it proved that they would do so again. Arabella didn't think she could go through that kind of judgment again. The good thing was she didn't need to work, so losing employment would not leave her penniless, but she had wanted to help the duke by changing the opinions of others about him.
Arabella wanted the duke to live a normal life where he could go where he pleased without fearing what people might say. While she wasn't foolish enough to believe she could change everyone's opinion, she at least wanted most to understand that they shouldn't judge him by his appearance.
The duke was so much more than the scars that covered his body. If she could see the beauty in him, it could only mean that others could as well… if they just gave themselves a chance.
However, she had to take into consideration that talking so well about him to others also meant that people would misconstrue her words to mean she liked him and had really meant to seduce the duke. While it was true that she loved the duke, seduction was far from her mind. She could barely look at him without butterflies erupting in her belly—someone with such a strong reaction couldn't possibly have the cunning needed to seduce a man.
Arabella sighed and hung her head, her heart aching with the knowledge of what she had to do. Her mother had often said that loving someone often meant doing one's best for them. If that meant letting them go, so be it.
If that person was truly meant to be in one's life, they would return. Arabella already knew it would be impossible for the duke to return to her life, but she would always have him in her heart. She could only hope he would remember her once she was gone.
Sighing with resignation, Arabella stood up. She needed to speak with Mrs. Cooper and let her know of her intentions. Arabella wanted to leave as soon as possible but didn't want to inconvenience anyone. If the housekeeper could find her replacement as soon as possible, she would be grateful. She took a step toward the house, seeing movement from the corner of her eye.
Arabella turned, her heart flipping over when she saw the duke striding to the stables. He was going for his usual early morning ride. While Mrs. Cooper would inform the duke of Arabella's wish to leave her position, she felt she needed to do it in person. He needed to know how grateful she was to have worked for him, and her leaving had nothing to do with being unhappy or unsatisfied in his household.
Every step toward him was bittersweet. The joy of being around him was almost eclipsed by the pain of leaving him, but she had to do it.
“Your Grace,” she called out as he put his foot in the stirrup to mount his horse. “May I speak to you for a moment?”
He stepped back from the horse, smiling. “Yes, of course,” he replied. “What did you wish to talk about?”
Sorrow filled her heart as she gazed into his eyes.Shewas leavinghim, but her heart was suffering the most; a truth he would never know.
Chapter 23
Something was wrong—Henry could see it in Arabella's eyes. Usually, she always had a smile for him, but all he could see was sadness.
“I have enjoyed working here, Your Grace,” she began. “However, I have decided to leave my position and live with my relatives in Somerset.”
Henry's stomach dropped. “What? Why?”
Arabella lowered her head. “I believe it's for the best, Your Grace,” she said.
