Page 21 of For a Lady's Fiery Heart
"I was," James said. It still made him a little bitter to think about how Lady Beatrice had led him on and broke his heart when he asked her to marry him. However, he was glad now that he had refused him. If she had not, he would have ended up with a silly, selfish wife instead of the lovely woman standing beside him now. Caroline was indeed beautiful on the inside and out.
"Go on," Caroline prompted. There was not a tinge of insecurity in her voice, only a mild curiosity. She sat on a bench near the fountain and looked up at him, ready to listen. He sat down beside her, scooting closer until their hips were touching.
"It is true that Lady Beatrice and I were close when we were children. At first, we leaned heavily on each other for companionship, as both of us were only children to our respective parents. It made for a lonely upbringing. However, we spent the summers together, and when I got a little older, I imagined myself to be in love with her. She gave me no indication that she was looking elsewhere for love. Indeed, I do not know if she is capable of the emotion.”
He sighed, shaking his head.
“That is neither here nor there. Whatever the case, when I was seventeen and she was eighteen, I asked her to marry me. It did not even enter my thoughts that she did not have the same depth of passion for me as I had for her. She refused my hand and decided to tell me that she was engaged to Sir Gerald that very same night.”
James leaned forward, looking out over the darkening landscape. Despite his desire to forget his anger over the pain Lady Beatrice had caused him, it still flared up inside him like a hot coal searing his heart. However, it quickly dissipated as he glanced at Caroline’s sweet face.
“I am sorry she did that to you,” Caroline said softly.
James turned toward his wife, placing his arm on the back of the bench seat. She leaned into him a little, and his heart began to race. His heart swelled at the thought that his young bride was already starting to trust him. He had not given it much thought, but it was important to him that she trust and respect him, that she felt comfortable enough to let down her guard in his presence.
She sighed contentedly. “Thank you for telling me. I am sure that was not easy.”
James shrugged slightly.
“I will not lie and say that it was an easy hurdle to overcome. I still harbour a lot of mistrust for Lady Beatrice. However, with her and Sir Gerald’s departure for the highlands in a few days, my mind is set more at ease. I am sorry if she made you feel—" He was not sure what word he was searching for to describe Lady Beatrice’s behaviour.
“Insignificant?” Caroline finished for him.
He glanced at her, searching her face. “Yes. I never want you to feel belittled in her presence. That is why I was so guarded when I saw her with you. In many ways, she is still an immature debutante trying to prove herself.”
“Well, there is no need for me to worry, then?" Caroline asked. "I must admit I was a little jealous when she told me of your history."
James smirked at this. "You were jealous?" He knew he should not feel this way, but her jealousy made him think that she was perhaps starting to be a little protective of him as well.
She smiled, matching his teasing mood. "A little," she said again. "But I do not have anything to worry about?"
"Absolutely not," James replied. He tucked her a little closer to his side. They fell silent for a moment, enjoying the greening landscape set before them. Summer was his favourite season, and he was thankful that he would share it with Caroline this year—and every year to come. His heart increased its rhythm. Sitting so close to her, with the faint feminine scent of lilacs floating up to him, was a heady mixture.
"I do love it here already," Caroline said after a while. "It is so peaceful."
James could not agree more. He paused for a moment and then plunged ahead, taking his father's suggestion that they take a wedding trip of sorts. "Would you like to accompany me to Pembroke Manor in a few days? My father wants me to go and survey the place—see about repairs that need to be made."
When she did not answer, he hurried on. "I was unsure if you would want to go. I do not want you to feel that I am being inconsiderate of any feelings you might have about your childhood home."
Caroline shifted slightly so she could look up into his face. "No, I would be most eager to go with you. I have not seen the place in over ten years." She hung her head for a moment. "I have very many fond memories of growing up there."
James was relieved. He had not been looking forward to the prospect of making the trip alone. And this would give them ample opportunity to spend some time together. "It is settled then," he replied. "I will be glad of any insight you can give about Pembroke."
"It is not the great expansive estate that Thorneby is. However, it is cosy, and with the right management, it will thrive once again."
By then, the gong had rung, and they could hear its muffled call reverberating gently over the garden. Caroline stood, and James was sad to have to part ways with her. She walked away toward the house, still wearing his jacket around her shoulders.
She stopped, looking over her shoulder as if to ask him if he was coming. He quickly followed, happy with where their relationship was headed. Who knew? Perhaps by the time they returned from Pembroke, they would be a true married couple, both in name and heart.
Chapter 12
Caroline tried to push down her nervousness as the open-air carriage made its way down the quiet lane toward Pembroke Manor. Her heart skipped a beat as James reached over and took her hand. He was attentive, seeming to sense her mood shifts even before she had time to contemplate them fully.
She squeezed his hand slightly and looked back toward the old house. It looked just as she remembered it. The last time she had seen it was when she took one last glance over her shoulder, sitting in the back of the wagon that her aunt and uncle had sent.
She had only been eleven on that fateful day, realising for the first time how far they had fallen. Her golden childhood had been filled with laughter, with nothing to vex or worry her. However, she now saw that it would likely not have been so if her parents had not worked so hard to protect their innocence.
It had all come to a head in a matter of weeks, her parents unable to shield her from the seriousness of their financial difficulties. However, their ruin had been long in coming. Her father's spendthrift ways had never gotten under control, despite his many promises to her mother to do so.
