Page 37 of For a Lady's Fiery Heart
Finally, he spotted her silhouetted form when he came to the library. Her back was to him with her shoulders hunched forward. He halted in the doorway for an instant, taking a deep breath. He could sense this was not going to be an easy conversation.
He cleared his throat as he approached her, trying to announce his presence in the least alarming way possible. Caroline's head shot up, and she quickly dried her tears. James closed the distance between them, reaching out to her. "Are you alright?" he asked.
She looked up at him, her tear-streaked face clearly illuminated in the moonlight filtering through the window. His heart broke for her all over again. Witnessing her father's improprieties in the dining room had been one thing. Seeing how it had upset her was even worse.
Shaking her head, Caroline turned around from him, wrapping her arms around her middle as if to comfort herself. "No, I am not alright," she admitted. Her voice shook with tears and emotion. He wished he could gather her up in his arms and chase all the sadness away, but after their argument earlier that afternoon, he did not feel she would allow it.
"I am sorry, Caroline," he said softly.
Caroline turned around, grunting in frustration. I am so embarrassed," she said. "He is always embarrassing us. I thought I might finally escape this side of my father, but it seems bent on following me no matter where I go." Silent tears began streaming down her cheeks in earnest.
James reached into his vest and pulled out a handkerchief. He closed the last remaining distance between them and started to wipe her tears. She squeezed her eyes shut and moved away from him. He felt the stab of rejection. Would they ever be able to come back from this?
"Caroline, wait," he said, thinking she meant to leave him there in the library alone. "I know you are embarrassed, but Lord and Lady Crandle are good people. They will not say a word of what happened this evening."
Caroline turned on her heel, looking more angry and upset than he had ever seen her.
"It will not be alright, James!" she whispered harshly.
"Now everyone knows I was practically sold as a bride to cover my father's shame. What a joke–" she said with a sardonic laugh.
"Who would want the daughter of a reckless, drunken earl with no wealth to keep up with the traditions of the title? Oh, yes, I am married, but a bride unloved. Unwanted," she said, her words growing quieter until the last was barely above a whisper. She hung her head and began to cry all the more.
Anger welled inside him–not at his wife, but at the circumstances that were trying to rip his wife apart. He strode toward her, touching her cheek tenderly. Caroline let out a short gasp of surprise but did not move away from him.
"That is the last thing you are," he said, his voice husky with longing. He waited for her to meet his gaze. "I do not care how we came together, Caroline. I am glad that you agreed to marry me." He let out a soft laugh. "I cannot imagine my life without you, now."
Caroline hung her head as if she could not believe what he was saying. He let his hand drop to his side. All the pent-up feelings he had been carrying for the last few weeks came to the surface. It took great restraint not to wrap her in his arms and kiss her as he so wanted to.
James took her hand and kissed it instead. "Caroline, the last few days we spent in Devonshire showed me that we have a real chance to make this marriage more than work–but thrive." His heart pounded in his chest as he gathered the courage to say what he had been feeling for some time.
"You are very much loved. And very much wanted," he assured her.
A small smile curved her lips, and his heart lifted. Might she feel the same for him, too? "Are you sure?" she asked as if this was all too good to be true.
James could control himself no longer. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight, and even with her tear-streaked cheeks, she was the most beautiful woman in the world to him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. He cupped her cheek and bent his head, touching his forehead to hers.
Caroline splayed her hands over his chest, lifting her chin. He looked deep into her eyes for a moment, leaning closer. He brushed his lips against hers, and she seemed to melt into him. He deepened the kiss.
His chest exploded with all the pent-up emotions and longings of the past weeks. Warmth spread through him, and he moved his hand to cup the back of her head. She let out a soft sigh, and he pulled her even closer if it were possible. Her lips tasted like sweet wine.
James ended the kiss after several moments, wishing they could stay like this forever. However, he knew that the longer they stayed away from the dinner party, the more awkward it would be for his father and for all in attendance. "Caroline," he whispered, his heart full. He wanted to say so much more but did not have the words.
Caroline laughed softly, clinging to him still. "Yes?" she asked. Just the sound of her voice sent thrills through him. A fierce protectiveness coursed through his chest. All he wanted was to make her happy, to see all the fears, worries, and embarrassment of the past fade away.
"I am sorry for my harshness this afternoon. I do not want to fight." He hung his head. "I hope you know that I want to help your father–"
Caroline shook her head slightly.
"No, I was wrong, James. I had all afternoon to think about it, and you are right. If my father is going to learn, we cannot constantly save him from his problems. He must be the one to take ownership, or it will be the same cycle over and over again."
She reached up, touched his cheek, and then raked her fingers into his hair behind his ear. He went weak at the knees with longing for her. Did she even know what that slight touch did to him?
He leaned forward, kissing her again with more tenderness than before. Caroline clung to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. James ended the kiss quickly this time, resting his forehead on hers once again. He could not help the smile that crossed his lips.
"I intend to keep my promise to you, Caroline. I will help your family however I can. We will get through this together."
Caroline smiled up at him, all traces of tears and sadness gone. "Thank you, James."
