Page 24 of For a Lady's Fiery Heart
James dug around for a handkerchief in his waistcoat pocket and handed it to her. "What changed, do you think?" James asked. He had been wondering how a family of such high standing had fallen so far.
"I do not know exactly. My grandfather died when I was seven, and I believe that is when things started to fall apart. Papa had only been set over a few things regarding the running of the estate. I suppose that is why we never lacked for anything under my grandfather's careful management of the estate. However, Papa let his grief overtake him.
Things fell into disrepair. Tenants began to leave to find other estates that took better care of the tenants' houses and lands. Papa grew desperate. He started drinking and gambling. And while he was never cruel to Mama and us girls, we could see the effects of his poor decisions.
"The servants started to dwindle in number."
Caroline shook her head, giving him a tight-lipped smile.
"I do not mean to sound spoiled. I just noticed things were starting to slip through the cracks, even at eight years old. The meals were less lavish. The house was not as clean as it once was. Mama was under a lot of stress with the household accounts."
"I would never think you to be spoiled, Caroline," James said. He placed his hand on the small of her back, and they walked out into the meadow. The grass whipped around their legs, and he helped steady her. "Go on."
Caroline shrugged slightly.
"By the time I was ten, we had only the butler and two upstairs maids. Grace was still too young to be of much help around the house, so I pitched in wherever I could. I did some washing and learned how to cook stew and make tea. But still, even with all the changes around the house, Papa did not stop. Not until we were nearly destitute."
James could hear the desperation in her voice. Had she ever gone hungry? Had there ever been a time when she did not have the proper clothing to keep her warm during the long winter nights? His heart twisted to think of Caroline shivering in her bedroom with no fire to keep her warm.
He vowed that she would never have to worry about that again. Their children would never have to wonder where their next meal was coming from or if they would have to leave Thorneby.
He took both her hands when they came to the copse of trees. She blinked, her chest rising and falling rapidly with each breath. He touched her cheek tenderly. "I promise I will do all my power to restore Pembroke. You will never have to worry about what you did as a child–not under my watch."
Caroline smiled, tears welling in her eyes.
"I am not afraid of living with little. What does the Good Book say? '…for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound…'"
She sighed, sniffing back her tears. James was amazed by her bravery and calm, gentle spirit. Most ladies of the ton would be terrified of being without luxurious homes and servants to attend to their every need.
She leaned her cheek into his hand and walked away a few paces. Caroline moved over to the tree where her little fort had stood. It was a pile of rotten boards now.
"What upsets me is that Papa continues to endanger his family with his recklessness. What will happen to Grace if his spendthrift tendencies continue? She may not be as lucky as I if he decides to marry her off to the first bidder."
James hung his head. "I hope you do not see me as abidder." He pulled his overcoat closed. The wind had picked up and carried with it the scent of rain.
"No," Caroline said, turning back to him. The wind snatched at her hair, causing the light golden tendrils to play over her face. She quickly moved them away, trying to tuck them behind her ear.
"I was very lucky to have married you, James. You are kind and intelligent, and you do not treat me like a silly wife who has no say in things. I am very glad you brought me here with you to see Pembroke."
James warmed to this. "How would you feel about moving here to live after the renovations are completed? We could make this our home until my father passes and I inherit the title."
Her face brightened, and her smile reached her eyes this time, making them sparkle. "I would like that very much. However, will your father allow it? I thought he might have plans to sell Pembroke when everything has been brought back up to snuff."
"I do not think he has any intention of selling. He plans to restore the estate house and get tenants back into the farms."
James offered her his arm, holding his hat on his head with the other, and the wind tried to carry it away. He raised his voice slightly so she could hear him over the wind's howling.
"I will speak with Father when we return home.”
She leaned heavily on him as they hurried back to the house. James looked up at the sky, seeing dark thunderheads rolling over the sea toward them. Caroline shivered next to him. "Are you alright?" he asked.
Caroline's lips had thinned into a worried line. "I do not like storms very much. They remind me of–" She stopped. "I have always been a little frightened by them, that is all. I suppose you think me silly? A grown woman being afraid of a little rain and thunder?" she asked, laughing at herself.
He shook his head. "We all have our own demons to battle. But do not worry. I am right here with you. I will not let anything happen to you." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and they hurried through the overgrown maze of paths that was the garden.
They made it inside just before the first clap of thunder. At that moment, the rains seemed released as if they had been held inside a giant pot. With the first flash of lightning, it was as if the pot had been broken, and the rain began coming down in sheets. Caroline and James stood at the window, looking out over the garden.
"Well, we made it back just in time," James said. He held Caroline close as the parlour was still blanketed in a bone-chilling draught. "Shall we go and see about some tea?" he asked.
