Page 41 of A Lady's Beloved Novelist
“They were talking about marriage again at the dinner table,” Andrea said as she lay down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. Lily was fixing her hair whilst sitting on the stool in front of the vanity.
“And what did you say?”
“Only the usual,” Andrea said after letting out a pinched sigh. “I do not know what else I can do. It has been so long since James has written to me.”
Lily turned to look at her cousin. “Have you gone to see him?”
“Not yet.” Andrea shook her head. “He has not written, and he has not called on me. Something is telling me that he has changed his mind. I am not sure I want to fall into the part of the foolish girl chasing after men who no longer want her.”
“But you do not know that,” Lily countered. “There could be another reason.”
“I do not see how that could be the case. One day he is infatuated with me and talked about marriage, and then I do not hear from him for days. I fear someone has spoken ill of me and managed to change his mind,” Andrea saidwhilstmaking a face. “He is an attractive man. Perhaps he has realised that he can do better than a woman on the cusp of spinstership.”
“And what about Sir Cecil?” Lily asked. She went back to fixing the stray curls that landed near her neck. “Has the spell been broken yet?”
Andrea winced at the thought of him.
“Since getting to know him, I have certainly learned of some…unfavourable traits,” Andrea said, trying her best to put it in polite terms. “There was the incident on Sunday morning, and I have heard certain whisperings about him.”
“But he is still interested in you?” Lily asked.
“He is. I think he will soon ask for my hand if I keep entertaining him,” Andrea said. She was not sure if she feared such a notion or if she would accept it. “I do not think James will still want to be with me, and so this could be my only option.”
Lily’s eyes widened as she turned to face Andrea fully. “You are not really going to consider it, are you?”
“I do not feel like I have much of a choice.” Andrea winced at how her life was laid out for her. “Mother and Father have been telling me that I need to do something soon about getting married. They said that they will not have a spinster in the family, and so there is only one clear option.”
“But what about James?”
“Lily, he clearly does not want to be with me. I barely opened up to him, and I am not going to make myself look like a fool by pining after him. Of course, I would have loved it to have come to something, but it was clearly not meant to be.”
Andrea was surprised by the steadiness of her own voice. She was not sure where it was coming from, but it made her sound more sure of her decision than she actually was.
“I think you are making a mistake,” Lily said as she shook her head. “I think you are going to put yourself in a position where you are very unhappy.”
“You do not know that. Cecil has plenty of stories from his travels, and I think I will have to settle with that. It is better than nothing, and I feel that has to count for something.”
Andrea had begun to grow accustomed to the idea that she was going to have to settle for a man who was not Francis Griffith. It was an unrealistic image to put onto the potential suitors in her life. She could see that, but she was still having a difficult time accepting it.
“I know you are old enough to make your own choices, but I really do think you should give this more thought.”
However, Andrea was not sure what else there was to think about. She was not faced with many options, and so Cecil was the only way she could please her parents.
“You saw what he was like with the maid, you told me about—”
“I do not want to hear it anymore, Lily,” Andrea said, she was holding up her hand. “I really do not.”
“I know, but I would not be a good friend to you—I would not be good family—if I just let you go into this without voicing my concerns,” Lily said followed by a sigh.
Andrea was not sure what more she could say to appease her cousin. She was angry at both her parents for putting pressure on her, but also at James for the way he was making no effort to see her. Of course, she was looking for other options, he was not doing anything to reassure her that his intentions were genuine.
*
Andrea did not have to wait long. A few days later, when a spell of rain had cleared and the air felt fresh once more, Cecil asked if she would walk with him through the gardens.
“I am so pleased you agreed to come with me.” He smiled pleasantly.
It was late in the morning, but Andrea could still tell that Cecil had not had many hours of sleep. There were dark shadows under his eyes, which were not as open as normal.
