Page 40 of A Lady's Beloved Novelist
“It counts for everything.” Cecil shrugged. His voice was a little calmer now, but James felt as though he were faced with a fire that could reignite at any moment.
“I want you to feel the defeat of being secondary because it is what I have felt my entire life. When we joined the military together, I thought it was going to be a turning point. I thought you would see me as your equal and we would run off into battle together. But no, you have made me feel second best for as long as I have known you.”
So this was what it was about. James winced as Cecil continued on complaining about the way he had been treated. What he failed to realise was that James had given him plenty of opportunities to be the man he wanted to be. It was Cecil’s behaviour that let him down at every step of the way. Cecil was responsible for his own actions.
“You cannot blame all of that on me,” James said, shaking his head quickly. “There is no fairness in that. You were not brave enough to do the hard tasks in the military. I am not sure how you have rationalised that in your head, but you cannot blame me for it.”
Cecil glared at him, his eyes filled with fury. James was trying to stay calm, but it was proving extremely difficult the more that Cecil spoke to him.
James’ eyes returned to the envelope in Cecil’s hands. “What are you going to do with the letter?”
“I suppose you want me to send it on to your little lady?” Cecil waved it in front of his face mockingly. James scolded himself as he had the opportunity to snatch it from him, but he had not taken it. “I am not going to do that.” Cecil chuckled.
“And my secret?”
“It is still safe for the time being.” Cecil was folding up the envelope as he spoke. James winced internally as he thought about the words on that page being destroyed. “I will make sure that nobody reads it, do not worry.”
“What will you do?” James asked carefully.
“I will burn it.”
Cecil’s tone had unnerved him slightly. It was so nonchalant, as though he could not care less about what happened to the letter.
“You are out of control,” James said, his voice sharpening. “I showed you hospitality, and this is how you repay me?”
“I was your friend, I was your ally out there in Asia. You wrote about me in your stupid successful stories with no credit. That is how you treated me.” Cecil was shouting once more.
The noise would attract uninvited ears. The last thing he wanted was more gossip about him flying around the estate. He did not want people talking about him at all, let alone in relation to arguing with his friend.
“Why do not you just tell everyone then?” James asked. “Why do not you just release the world so that you can watch my reputation take the hit?”
Cecil hesitated a moment before answering. “Because it feels too early. I still want to see you squirm a little more.”
He was slightly unnerved by Cecil’s threats. James did not like it at all that such an unpredictable person had the upper hand. Cecil could drop the information at any moment, but he was choosing to wait for when he thought it would be opportune.
“And so I cannot see Andrea?”
“Of course not.” Cecil was laughing as he spoke. “You are not to even think about her, how about that?”
James understood the message loud and clear.
“You should stay away from her if you knew what was good for you,” James fired back. He was bluffing, but Cecil did not have to know that, all he needed was to make him feel threatened enough to back down.
“You do not frighten me anymore, James. Not with what I have hanging over your head.”
James could not respond to him. Instead, he pursed his lips and looked down at the floor for a moment.
“I think you should leave,” James said finally. “You have made your point, Cecil, and I will stay away.”
“All right, I just thought I would stop by to show you that I have thought of everything,” Cecil said. He waved the envelope in front of James’ face one more time, but James did not rise to it. He knew Cecil was trying to wind him up. He was trying to get him to snap. James was not going to give his former friend that satisfaction.
“Goodbye, Cecil,” James said as he started to close his front door. “I hope to never see you again.”
“So rude to an old friend.” Cecil was still laughing and shaking his head as though it were all some big joke. “I will see you soon, James. Or should I start calling you Dean in front of other people?”
James could only grimace, and he knew it was bringing satisfaction to Cecil tenfold. He kept his mouth shut as he closed the door, refusing to say another word to the man. This was far from over. Cecil may have won the battle in the short term, but there was no way James was going to allow him to win the war.
Chapter 18
