Page 31 of A Lady's Beloved Novelist
“Of course.” James nodded, scratching the back of his head as he wished she had given him some warning before calling. He was simply glad that Cecil had staggered in from one of the local public houses late last night and was still snoring in his ale-induced stupor.“I will be only a few moments if you would excuse me.”
“Of course.” Andrea bowed her head.“We will wait on the picnic ground.”
James closed the door after the two ladies turned on their heels and walked away from his house. He was slightly confused by her pointed tone, though part of him wondered if it was due to the letter he had sent her the day before.
He was yet to receive a response in the form of a letter, but he was suddenly realising the picnic she had organised was almost definitely her response to what he had said. James was willing to talk about some of his travels, but he was not going to dive into the horrors of war. Though, if he had known it would be such an issue, he would not have included it within his letter at all.
*
“Ah, James,” Andrea said and rose from the blanket as he approached. She watched him carefully as he glanced between her and Lily.
“I am sorry for not being ready before…” he murmured, but Andrea quickly shook her head. She had not expected him to be since she had arrived unannounced.
“It is fine, I just wanted to see you and talk to you,” she admitted in a lower voice.
However, she need not have bothered since Lily was well-versed in the ways of being a good and respectable chaperone. She busied herself with her own little picnic and stared out in the other direction so that they were afforded at least a little bit of privacy.
“I assume this is about my letter?” James asked, quirking an eyebrow. They sat down together on the cushions that her maids had provided. Small plates of food were slowly being brought out to them and some fresh lemonade to wash it all down with.
“I was just curious why you do not think that I would be able to handle some of your stories,” Andrea said as she sat back in her seat.“I thought we both agreed that we were in the same situation to an extent, and I said that—”
“I am sorry to cut you off, but you wanted stories of adventure. I was merely trying to explain to you that I could provide those but not the ones about the war. I have terrible stories that I could tell you, and I do not think you would like them one bit if you were to find out. I do not think you would like me either, the things all of us soldiers had to do out there were not things we were particularly proud of.”
Andrea flinched at the thought. She wondered if she would have had the strength to do what he did out there, but she chose not to respond for the moment. She was still conflicted about the way he had spoken to her, and she was trying to see past how quick he had been to reinforce the very expectations she so desperately wanted to get away from.
“I am sorry, I do not wish to upset you,” James said.“I understand that you want more than what your life is going to amount to, but I also think being realistic with that is important. My father will not allow me to travel and whilst I hope my stories will satisfy you, I cannot say for certain they will.”
James appeared as though there was more that he wanted to say on that point, but he kept his mouth closed.
“I understand,” Andrea said eventually. She took a pause and placed a grape into her mouth. The juicy flavour exploded and she relished in its fresh taste.“I was just a little…disheartened by it.”
She watched as James shifted uncomfortably at her words.
“I never meant to offend with my letter,” he said finally.
“Well, I want you to know that I have the strength to hear anything you have to tell me, and I want you to respect that.”
“All right.” He sighed.“I understand.”
She did not like how he was suddenly weary of the conversation, as though his tolerance had just lowered to a level that meant he was no longer interested. Andrea bit her lip and stared down at her plate of food. With each moment that passed, she found her appetite was waning more and more.
“I should have thought more carefully about this before coming to see you,” Andrea muttered more to herself than to him.“I am sorry, I had not realised that it would be such an issue between us.”
“Neither did I,” James said whilst shrugging his shoulders.“I do not know what more you want me to say, I really do not view you like other women, I thought we had already come to that understanding.”
Andrea considered his words for a moment, she knew he was right and he really did care for her. She just wanted to make sure that she was not marrying the kind of man who would try to suppress her happiness. It was a hard balance to strike.
“I know,” she said finally, her hand moving to lightly touch his. The contact felt like a spark had ignited between them, and Andrea was aware that Lily would probably advise her against being so public with her affection.
But she chose not to say anything else. This time, she was relying on the gesture to do all the talking for her. Andrea wanted James to know that she did like him, and she cared about his feelings too. She did not want that to get confused amongst other things.
*
Later that afternoon, James returned to his house with a pensive frown on his face. He had not realised just how his words would have affected her, yet it appeared as though Andrea needed a lot more reassurance than he had been anticipating. He admired that she was able to stand up for herself, and he liked that she was not afraid to lay down how she wanted things to be.
He could not think of many other women who would try to do the same thing, and so he marvelled at her strength for that.
But there was something else that was eating away at him. Something he was debating on whether it should come to light. Andrea was craving adventure, yet she did not realise that she was already a big fan of James’ stories because she had avidly read them all plenty of times. And whilst he knew he could provide her with more stories, he was not sure how she would react to such news. Especially because he had been sitting on that information for a little whilst.
