Page 12 of A Lady's Beloved Novelist
“You do not seem yourself today,” Lily said with narrowed eyes.
They were having tea in the spring sun, making the most of the recent spell of good weather that had blessed the Cotswolds.
“I do not?” Andrea was quite shocked at her cousin’s remark.“I am just…thinking.”
“That is never good.” Lily chuckled.“I thought you were more of a doer rather than a thinker.”
“Well, today I am thinking,” Andrea brushed off the comment, unsure if it was an insult or not.
“What are you thinking about?” Lily asked, her full attention now on her cousin.
“I am thinking about the marquess,” Andrea admitted, wanting to get her most trusted friend’s opinion on the matter.“I have not been able to stop thinking about him, in all honesty.”
“That is…a good sign.”
Andrea could tell that whatever Lily had been expecting her to say, it had not had anything to do with a man that was real and not fictitious.
“Is it?”
“Yes! That would be an excellent match!” Lily exclaimed.“Think of the people in the ton who would suddenly remember you for all of the right reasons. You would surpass all expectations.”
But Andrea was not sure if that was what she wanted to do. She wanted to marry because someone intrigued her, not because they impressed her.
“I need to know more about him,” she decided whilst straightening up.“I barely know a thing about him, and I cannot think of marriage whilst that is the case.”
“You should invite him over for lunch. Or something like that. Something a little more formal than a walk around the grounds.”
Andrea liked the suggestion, but she thought of how formal that would seem to him.
“I do not want to give him hope, though.”
“I fear even looking in his direction will give that man hope,” Lily admitted.
“He is quite determined to win my favour,” Andrea agreed.“Do you think that is a good thing?”
“He is the son of a duke, and he is interested in you. I think those are two very good things for both you and your family.” Lily nodded.“Think about all of the positives before you inevitably focus on the negatives.”
“I do not…” But Andrea could not even finish her sentence. It was true that when she thought about suitors, her first reaction was one of loathing. But that was only because she had spent many years dodging advances and dragging herself through tiresome small talk.
“Besides, if you are genuinely interested in this man, then that is more than enough of a reason to see him again.”
Andrea pressed her lips together and thought about what her cousin was telling her. There were so many variables to think about, all the whilst she was terrified of being on the wrong path.
She waited for the maid who had refilled their teapot to leave before speaking.“What if I am interested for the wrong reasons?”
“Wrong reasons?” Lily looked slightly horrified.
“I only mean that I have heard hints of his life before he moved out to the countryside. It sounds very interesting…he was in the military, and he went on to travel across the world after his service was done.”
The silence that followed her words was an incredibly loud one. It made her wish that her cousin would say something, but Lily was staring at a spot on the pristine white tablecloth.
“I would say that this is still a step in the right direction,” she said finally.“He is a real person that you are interested in, and that is ultimately the largest step.”
“Keep your voice down,” Andrea muttered, feeling a flush rising up to her cheeks at Lily’s words.“I know it is a rather big step in that regard, but I do not know if that is reason enough to pursue something with him.”
“Andrea, you are already thinking too much into this,” Lily said with a slight chuckle.“I would not say that you have been courting for long and you are finding yourself in such a mess of your thoughts.”
“I know.” She sighed in frustration and sat back in her chair.“I just do not want to hurt his feelings if this is not what I want.”
