Page 54 of A Maid's Fateful Courtship
“Well? Go on then, do not keep it from me now,” Lettie insisted because Josephine had not finished what she was about to tell her.
“Lady Cynthia has offered to help me find another position," Josephine informed her as she looked over at the pretty rose hedges. "Which will mean that I can leave Sarandale Manor. Can we go that way? I do so love the rose garden.”
“I wish you would not talk of leaving. I will miss you so very much,” Lettie said sulkily.
“I can see no other way around it,” Josephine pointed out. She did not like to admit that she did not want to leave her childhood home. Though the reason was mainly that it was going to twist her insides to see Ethan with another woman in his life.
“We have known one another for most of our lives,” Lettie reminded her. “If anything, we are like sisters. How we will ever manage without each other I do not know.”
“Can we sit here?” Josephine suggested, stopping on a patch of thick, luscious green grass in the rose garden. It was the white and yellow daisies on the lawn that had caught her eye. When they were in full bloom like that, it always reminded her of daisy chains. Even Ethan had spoken of them only a few days ago.
Memories of their childhood were becoming more and more painful. It felt in her mind as if they were forbidden times, to be hidden away in the back of her mind. Yet, they were precious and all she had left to hold onto.
She could understand Cedric being distant with her, but not Anthony. All the brothers seemed to have accepted her new situation. It was time for her to learn that she was never meant to be treated as part of the family, it had only been a temporary privilege.
“I do not mind you being deep in thought,” Lettie said, disturbing her ruminations. “But I will not allow you to be miserable.”
Josephine watched as Lettie lay down on the grass and picked a shiny, yellow buttercup. She twirled the small flower in her fingers and turned to smile back at her.
“I have given it much thought and have decided that I would like to become a governess,” Josephine shared her new ideas. “I will never marry, despite what you might think. Therefore, I will never have children of my own, so I will teach children as compensation for my loss?”
Lettie shifted her position so that she lay on her stomach, throwing away the dying wildflower in her hand. “You will make a fine governess, and you know so many things in that head of yours. I mean, you have taught me my letters and I am grateful for that.”
“Sometimes though, I find that my education is more of a burden,” Josephine confided in her friend. “As a housekeeper, I cannot use all the skills that I learned. But as a governess, I can pass them on, as you say.”
“I cannot bear the thought of you not being around,” Lettie snivelled, sitting up to face her friend. “I know you have a deep respect and fondness for the Marquess, but the day he took you in has turned out to bring you nothing but misery. What’s the point in being able to do everything a lady can do, if you are not a lady?”
Josephine laughed. “I suppose you are right with that one, but I will be forever grateful to the Marquess. His care gave me hope, even as a child. And now… well, I can use all that education wisely as a governess, cannot I?”
Lettie nodded her head in agreement. “I do not think you should give up on finding love again though. You are far too beautiful to be spending your life alone.”
“You flatter me, but love goes much deeper than looks alone. Besides, young lady, you are the pretty one amongst us.”
“Do you think so?” Lettie chuckled. “When I marry it will be for love. I will have ten children and teach them all their letters.”
“Phew! That is a lot of mouths to feed,” Josephine winced at the idea. “But I could teach them music and dance.”
“Yes, and you will come and live with me and my new family so that we can be together again,” Lettie said happily. “That way we will only be apart for a short time.”
“I take it back, I love the sound of ten children,” Josephine said, joining in the merriment of their chatter. “You shall have five boys and five girls and live on a farm like I once did.”
“Yes, I could ask the Marquess for one of his farms, could not I?” Lettie returned, enjoying the fantasy. “My husband will be tall and strong, and my sons will help on the farm, whilst all my daughters are taught gaiety by you. See… we have a good plan for a future together.”
“There is but one problem with this plan,” Josephine said, with a little despondency in her tone.
“No, it is perfect,” Lettie retorted, not wanting anything to spoil her daydream.
“Well… you need to find a husband first.” Josephine laughed.
“Oh, that is only a little problem.” Lettie laughed with her, and they both lay back on the grass, side by side.
“Thank you for cheering me up,” Josephine said to her friend. “Without you, I would never have got through this day.”
“Let us talk about my handsome husband,” Lettie giggled at the very thought of such a notion. “Because I do not know where I will meet him, none of the stewards in the manor house are good enough.”
“Oh no, it is far too pongy in there,” Lettie screwed up her nose at the thought of the strong smell of horse manure in her home. "Although I would like it to be Henry."
They laughed and lay back, both closing their eyes with their silent thoughts. Josephine mused over the wedding that was taking place in the manor house, with a very handsome man. A man whom she loved so very much. It made her all the more determined to bring a little joy into her day because sorrow was not so far away.
