Page 62 of A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven
For so many years she had spent time trying to find a husband, but she had not thought about what she might enjoy in her own time. With this encouragement from Adrianna, as well as the revelation from her mother, Sophia tried to hold to optimism that she could eventually learn to be at peace with where things were currently at in her life.
Indeed, she was able to hold on to the possibility that things would come together at some point, but there was little telling as to when that might be. Until that day arrived, she would have to press forward in the hopes that she could make something of herself that would, indeed, be worth noticing.
Sophia wanted to be proud of the life that she was living. She wanted to show the world that she was capable of a great deal. And she did not wish to be stuck feeling down about all of the men who she had lost over the previous years of her life, particularly these last few months.
With all of the shifts that had taken place, Sophia wondered if she would be able to shake her reputation easily, but if not, she knew that she was stronger than that.
“Alright, then. I intend to take your advice. I am determined that I shall not allow myself to wallow as I have been. There is more for me in this life than what I have been allowing myself. Adrianna, when you did not wish for love right away, what did you do?” Sophia asked.
Adrianna laughed.
“I made every effort to be myself and not live with any concern for men. Quite frankly, that is all there ever was to it. My mother and father were dismayed, but I knew that it was right for me. So after that, I spent a great deal of time studying and improving my skills,” she replied.
“I think my mother and father would absolutely support me in such efforts,” Sophia remarked.
“Then do it. You needn’t pine forever about lost love. What you need is to be happy and satisfied in the woman that you are,” Adrianna said again.
Later that day, when she was on her own, Sophia thought about it. She would spend her time trying to improve in the things that she enjoyed. Starting with her piano forte.
For two hours that evening, she practiced. First, Sophia went through the pieces that she knew well, and then worked to perfect another that she was not so proficient in. Making a goal to have it perfected by the end of the week, she was feeling confident in what she had done.
By the end of the evening, Sophia was more determined than ever to improve. And yet, when she lay in bed that night to sleep, all of the worries returned and all of her concerns drifted through her thoughts.
The most difficult of them all was remembering that Thomas had moved on.
Throughout the following weeks, life returned to normal and the questions ceased. There was no further news from Miss Wainwright and Sophia accepted the fact that she was not going to be matched by London’s most famous Matchmaker.
She continued to work hard and grow her skills, but there was not much to keep her entertained long enough to prevent the sadness from returning each evening.
Unexpectedly, a letter did arrive from James Fanshaw. Sophia was alarmed at first, then curious. It was only a brief note saying that he had been delighted to have met her at the ball and that he had not yet been matched by Miss Wainwright.
Although it appeared to be an attempt to let Sophia know that he was still unmatched, she knew that he was not the sort of man that she could ever love.
And after everything that had occurred with the Earl, Sophia knew that she would never again settle for a man for whom she had no real affection or love. It had been difficult enough and a waste of two years of her life.
Bearing that in mind she chose not to reply to the letter, but rather to spend her days waiting and improving herself.
One evening at dinner, her father looked at her with curiosity in his eyes. It made her uncomfortable, but Sophia gave him a nod with a slightly upturned mouth, alerting him to the fact that she was ready for any question he might have for her.
“I have a thought,” he began.
“I imagine that you have many, Father. What is it?” she asked.
“There is an acquaintance of mine with a son of marrying age. I do not know the young man well, but perhaps we might arrange for them to come to dinner one evening,” he suggested.
Sophia tried to maintain the smile, but although she wanted to find a husband, she didn’t know if she had the energy to continue trying. With every bit of hope that she had mustered, disappointment always followed.
“Mother, what do you think?” she asked Lady Silsby.
Her mother looked to her father and gave him her inquisitive grin.
“I think that I have learned to trust your father’s instincts. He says he does not know this young man or his father well, but that does not mean we cannot try. If he turns out to be something other than we would wish for you, I have little doubt that your father shall recognise it right away,” she replied.
Sophia conceded and agreed to her father’s proposition. But in light of it, she had promised herself not to have any hopes at all. The last thing she wanted was another failed prospect.
In the meantime she continued to play her piano, ride her mare, and read as much as she could.
In the end, it had been the wisest decision. The acquaintance of her father’s had turned out to be a rather uncouth man who was suddenly exposed for being a man with worldly habits. His son, apparently, followed in those footsteps and found himself in a great deal of debt with the horse racers.
