Page 52 of A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven
No, surely she did not deserve to be angry here. She deserved only to be angry at herself. If she had made better choices, things might be different. But, alas, she had ruined it all.
Sophia had isolated her heart, and she would never get it back again. She would never have Thomas back again. And she would spend her life mourning the loss of this.
It was simply the fact of what she had done. And nothing could ever change that now.
Sophia thought for a moment that she might collapse, but even as the room swam around her, she tried to hold herself together.
It was too late to win Thomas back. It was too late to take Adrianna’s advice and tell him how she really felt. It was too late to have finally admitted to herself that she still loved him.
Sophia was filled to the brim with regret and it didn’t even matter. Any depth of wishing she had behaved differently went unacknowledged in light of the fact that Thomas had fallen in love with another woman.
He would not have mentioned this other prospect had he not meant to pursue it. Perhaps that was the most painful part for Sophia. As much as she tried to paint him in a poor light for all that had occurred between them, she knew as well as anything that he really was a good man.
Thomas had a good heart. He would not use the excuse of another woman simply to make her jealous. He would not try to hurt her and inadvertently hurt another in the process. Whatever bitterness Sophia felt towards Thomas, she was confident that he would be true to the woman that he made a decision to marry.
He always did have a pure heart. He always was a man of kindness and humility, of quiet diligence and thoughtfulness.
If only she had remembered that sooner. If only she had given him the credit for his character back when it mattered the most, when she could have ended things with the Earl in time.
Remembering suddenly that she had been meant to change and go downstairs for lunch, Sophia made herself presentable and tried to bring a smile to her face. When she exited the room, she determined to shake the burden of sadness from her shoulders and appear the part of a young woman ready to face the world.
“There you are!” Adrianna exclaimed, meeting her halfway on the stairs. “I had begun to wonder if you had fallen asleep. You did not come down and my aunt wished for me to come and find you.”
“Yes, forgive me, I had been on my way but was rather caught off guard by something to which I needed to attend,” Sophia explained.
Adrianna looked at her with worry in her eyes.
“What is it?” she asked.
Sophia tried to hold her emotions in check, but it was difficult to maintain any semblance of normalcy when she was now beginning to lose all hope.
“It…it is Thomas. It would seem as though Miss Wainwright has found him another match and I have allowed my stubbornness to destroy all chance of possible happiness for the two of us,” Sophia confessed.
She stiffened her throat, not giving in to the tears that threatened from behind her eyelids.
“Oh, Sophia! I had no idea. How terrible that must be for you,” Adrianna sympathised.
Sophia blinked back the moisture and tried to think of the positive side. It meant that Thomas would be happy. And perhaps Miss Wainwright would find another option for her as well.
“Don’t worry for me. I shall be fine. It was my own decisions that led me to this point and I think that I have learned a great deal from it. At least I know that I shall never allow such a thing to happen again,” she said with as much strength as she could muster.
“You needn’t be brave or strong. If you should like to weep, I am here for you,” Adrianna remarked.
“There is no reason for me to weep. I am perfectly fine and all shall be well in the end. I’m certain of it. Now, don’t you think it best if we make our way down for lunch? They shall come after us if we don’t,” Sophia said.
Adrianna nodded and took her hand in a comforting manner, and the two headed towards the dining room where the scent of abundant food awaited.
Sophia knew that this was the inevitable result of her stubbornness. There was truly no one to blame but herself. And she would have no other choice than to accept that this was where her choices had brought her.
Regret was no longer useful. She had to look to the future with hope and the assurance that things would come together in the end. If they did not, she could live her life as a cautionary tale for other young women who allowed their pride to get in the way of the true happiness that might otherwise have had before them.
Chapter 21
“Sophia, can I speak with you?” Adrianna asked from the other side of the door the next morning.
Stretching and yawning, Sophia forced herself to sit up in the bed and take a sip of water before she could reply.
“Yes, come in,” she called.
