Page 27 of A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven
Sophia looked away, wondering how she could effectively word the feelings that were overwhelming her even when she knew that she ought to be enjoying herself and indulging in the luxuries that this ball was presenting her with. There was so much to be excited about.
She couldn’t help but wonder why she continued to struggle, despite knowing that. But she also knew that if there was anyone she could talk to about her concerns, it was Adrianna. A friend who had seen her through a great deal of turmoil.
“It’s only that I have had such misfortune in the past. You keep telling me that all is going to be well and that this Matchmaker will pair me with the perfect gentleman. But you see, I have already thought I had found that. And I remain lost,” she confessed.
Her friend came and sat beside her. Sophia tried to look away, not wanting to allow her emotions to control her all over again.
“Listen to me, my dear Sophia. We have all been jilted in love. You needn’t think of the past. There is a grand future ahead,” she replied optimistically.
Sophia scoffed.
“You have not faced the public humiliation of rejection,” Sophia reminded her.
“No, I have not. But he only made himself look like a terrible man. That was not on your account. He was a fool and everybody knows it,” Adrianna reasoned.
“Hardly! That is not the working of London society. A man may get away with any such foolishness. But I shall always be blamed. I was not good enough for him, or I somehow displeased him. It matters not that they were together long before he courted me,” Sophia said.
“That is not true!” Adrianna insisted.
“But that is what all have said. You must know that to be true. You have been around society a great deal more than I have in these past months. And the only thing that can drive a wealthy man into the arms of a peasant is a woman who he deems unworthy,” Sophia remarked.
Yes, it had seemed as though her own inability to please the Earl had been the reason for his choice in leaving her. He had chosen another woman because he couldn’t bear the thought of her, even after two years of courtship.
“Please tell me that you know this isn’t true. No matter what society might try to say or how they love slander, it’s simply not true. You are a wonderful woman, deserving of far more than this,” Adrianna said.
“Some days, I am able to remember that. But other days, I forget it entirely. And even on the days that I know I am worth more than this, more than how he treated me, I still must live with the knowledge that society has deemed me unfit for marriage to a man of good standing,” she said.
“Well Miss Wainwright feels differently. Did she not say as much? That you and the Earl would never have been a good match? That she believes she shall find the right man for you?” Adrianna asked.
“Well, she is a bit batty, isn’t she?” Sophia laughed in reply.
Adrianna joined her in the laughter. It was a wonder that Miss Wainwright’s colourful nature should still manage to secure so many clients. That society could accept her eccentric behaviour was testament to the fact that things weren’t all bad in London. People could still be unique and have their own preferences.
But Adrianna suddenly became serious, having more important issues to address with Sophia.
“That hardly matters. If she believes that she shall manage to find the right man for you, you must have faith in it. Forget the Earl. He is off and gone. His own family is in humiliation for the scandal and has avoided him at all costs. It is hardly your own fault. Let it go. Forget about him,” Adrianna urged.
Sophia nodded, but knew that she could not let go so easily. It sounded like an ideal plan, but how was she meant to move on from something that had been so public?
After two years of trying to convince herself to love him she had finally been ready to be married, but now, alas, she was rejected. The embarrassment had been far worse than the heartache.
Although the heartache had not been easy…
“Is there something else?” Adrianna asked.
“What do you mean?” Sophia asked in reply.
“You seem as though you are unconvinced, or at least that I have not addressed your true concerns,” Adrianna said.
Sophia sighed. Did she really want to get into all of this? Did she want to have to confess the thing that was really wounding her? The issue that she had been trying to bury all this time?
“Yes…of course there is something else. Is there not always something else?” she challenged.
“Then tell me. What is it that has got you so upset?” Adrianna wondered.
“You know that the Earl was not the first man I ever cared for,” she confessed.
Adrianna’s face took on a change. It was clear now that she understood what was truly underneath Sophia’s hurt.
