Page 66 of A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven
“I wish that you would simply return your thoughts to her, if that is how you feel. Do you not think she is worth it? Do you not think that love is worth fighting for?” Officer Kingsley asked.
“It matters not whether it is worth fighting for. We are too late for it now. I have lost her. For good. And I promised her that I would leave her alone. That I would not pursue her any longer,” Thomas said.
“Well that was foolishly done. Can you not go back on that promise? Can you not call after her now? There has to be something good to come of the two of you,” he continued.
Thomas was frustrated that his friend who had so newly discovered love was lecturing him like this. Whatever optimism Officer Kingsley had was misplaced when it came to a union between him and Sophia. He wished that his friend would let it go and they could move on to discussing something else entirely.
“Can you explain why you are so stubborn when you know that you wish to be with her?” he asked.
Thomas sighed, trying to control his temper when he wanted to lash out and be left alone on the topic.
“Because we have tried. First she rejected me for the Earl of Bastion and then claimed that I had first rejected her. Then we were brought together again by Miss Wainwright and that only ended in an angry discussion in a small, hidden corner of the gardens. Ultimately, she made it very clear that she does not want me,” Thomas declared.
“What if I speak with my own paramour? Lady Alcott might know something that we do not. What if she has learned that Lady Hastings feels exactly the same as you do?” he asked.
Thomas darted a glare in his direction. He could not believe that Officer Kingsley would suggest bringing Lady Alcott into this. There was no reason for it and he was embarrassed that it was even suggested.
“Why do you look at me that way? Is it really so bad an idea?” he asked.
“It really is. I shouldn’t like anyone brought into this. All I want is to leave it behind. I chose to move forward and proceed with Miss Wainwright for the very purpose of moving on. That is still what I intend to do. And I wish that you would respect it,” Thomas said.
“It is not that I don’t respect it. I consider it utterly foolish. In order to choose whether or not I respect a decision, there has to be an evaluation as to whether or not respect is even a prospect. And here, there is no prospect at all for respect. You are being tiresome,” he moaned.
“Tiresome? You haven’t the beginning idea as to what I have gone through in order to move on from the pain that I was in after things ended with Sophia from the start,” Thomas retorted.
“I do. Because you keep going on about it rather than doing something to change it! Honestly, I cannot abide your thoughts and constant complaints. I do believe that Lady Alcott would know what to do about it,” Officer Kingsley said again.
“Well, I fear that we shall never know. I haven’t any desire for her to hear about any of this. I want to move on and forget it and I insist you do the same,” Thomas said.
Officer Kingsley eyed him with irritation. Thomas saw something in his friend’s eye. Something he didn’t quite trust.
Thomas knew that Lady Alcott was soon to learn about his feelings. And from there, there was very little he could do to stop it from getting back to Sophia.
Chapter 25
Sophia was looking forward to a day out of the house and enjoying Adrianna’s company at her own estate.
With everything that had been going on, she needed a day away from home and being able to spend time with others. It seemed impractical to think that she ought to be locked away in the estate for all of her time and it was the last thing that Sophia wanted.
“First, you must play for me,” Adrianna insisted once Sophia arrived.
Each time they had been together, Adrianna had urged Sophia to play the piano forte and show the progress that she had made in her recent efforts to better herself. For Sophia it was still a challenge, but it was one that she did not mind putting herself into. She was glad that Adrianna was holding her accountable.
Sophia sat down and performed the piece that she had been working to master and Adrianna, as well as two of the maids, all clapped rather heartily. It gave her such a relief to know that she had done it well.
“Tremendous. I am glad that you have continued to work on these things. Is it still a good distraction for you?” Adrianna asked.
Sophia nodded, although she could not fully say.
“It helps. There are many times when I am still overcome by all that has happened, but I confess that it has certainly helped to get my mind off things now and then. During the day, I am able to put my energy into these things. But at night, when I try to sleep, I am overwhelmed once more by the fact that I have no prospects of a husband and might end up alone for the rest of my days,” Sophia confessed.
“Then you had best stop thinking like that. If you put yourself into the enjoyment of these skills you are developing, everything shall be far better. I wish to see you happy and I cannot imagine that you will be if you do not focus on happier things,” Adrianna said.
“I have been working towards that very goal. And while I shall be honest with you about my failings, it does not mean that I have not found some successes as well,” Sophia replied.
“I am glad to hear it. I am proud of you for having come this far and I know that you shall do very well as you continue on this path,” Adrianna said by way of encouragement.
Sophia grinned, knowing that she really had been making a grand effort. Things were still very difficult, but it didn’t stop her from pressing forward. Even through the pain that she felt at night, she tried to hold onto the hope that everyone kept insisting she keep.
