Page 4 of A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven
“You mustn’t refrain from eating, Sophia. Please, it is not healthy for you,” Adrianna reminded her.
“But it does not matter. I shall never find love again and I can hardly be expected to hope for it,” Sophia replied, forlornly.
“So your life is meaningless? All because of the actions of a foolish Earl who has disgraced himself in society? Why must you suffer further punishment for the behaviours of another?” Adrianna asked.
“Because if I had been enough for him, if I could have made him love me, none of this would have happened. Do not pretend otherwise. I know that everyone says it. Everyone thinks it. He ran away because I was not enough,” she reasoned.
Adrianna let out a frustrated sigh.
“You were not made a fool of, but you are playing the fool right now. I have listened to the gossip. I have heard what a liar he was. When people speak of you, they speak only of how you were betrayed. No one declares you to be at fault in any manner,” Adrianna assured her.
“I can hardly imagine that to be true,” she said, unwilling to give even the slightest degree of acceptance to her friend who was making such an effort to better the situation for Sophia.
“Good heavens, the Earl of Bastion had been in love with this other woman for years, Sophia!” she yelled.
Sophia felt her heart break all over again. How she had believed this man’s lies, how she had not known that he would do this to her? It was shameful.
Not once had it occurred to her that someone could be so cruel and so vile. Not once had she imagined that a man of such a calibre would treat her with such indignity.
“He loved her for years?” Sophia asked.
“According to those I have spoken with, he did. She was the daughter of some merchant that his father used to buy from often. And the two were childhood sweethearts who often ran off together in hopes of one day being married,” Adrianna said.
“Then why did he not marry her long ago? Why did he have to allow me to spend all this time hoping that we might be married as he had promised we would?” Sophia asked, ignoring the fact that she knew well it had been her own emotions that had caused such a delay in the marriage.
The fact of the matter was that she was long uncertain as to whether or not she wanted to marry him. She was only just prepared for it to happen. But it was still far easier to blame the Earl for the length of the wait than to accept it upon her own shoulders.
So instead she would question why he did not simply make his decision sooner.
“Because she was the daughter of a merchant, as I said. She was not of his station and he knew that his mother and father would never allow it. Even after his father passed away and he took on the title and was running the home, everyone knew that his mother has been the one to run his life,” Adrianna said.
“Yes, she is quite an awful woman. I did not look forward to being under her thumb at all times,” Sophia sighed.
“Well, now you shan’t be. She is, reportedly, quite furious,” she said.
“And do I not have a right to be furious?” Sophia asked.
“Certainly you do. And everyone expects you to be. But I have not seen fury from you. I have seen only sadness. I wish that you would be furious and rage and feel the way that you ought to feel. It might help you out of this depression that I have seen come over you,” Adrianna said.
“But I cannot shake from my mind the thought that part of this is all my own fault. If I had been better, he would not have run off with another,” Sophia said again.
“You must forget that train of thought. As I said, he did not simply run off. He loved her for a long time. He pursued you because he did care for you, I’m sure of it. He knew that he had an obligation to society that he must marry. He saw you as the best choice of all the women in noble society,” Adrianna said.
Sophia knew that this was supposed to make her feel better. She knew that being the first pick of the Earl for an appropriate wife was a compliment. But she could not see it that way.
“In the end, the Earl had to follow his heart and seek out his true love,” Adrianna added.
“And I was not her,” Sophia concluded.
Knowing that the Earl of Bastion had been in love with the young woman for several years made nothing better. In all the time that he had been amongst society, he had been longing to be with her again.
His courtship with Sophia had been a mere obligation of society. He had not once truly desired her or loved her. He had been with her only for the purposes of what had been expected of him. But now that the courtship had ended, he was hiding nothing.
Sophia was not the strong-willed woman that she desired to be. She knew that her emotions often got the better of her, but this did not change the fact that she simply could do nothing but sit around and be depressed.
For a great deal of time, she had made every attempt to distract herself. Still, she was making such an effort. But it seemed hopeless. It seemed as though there was nothing at all in the world that might improve her mood or make her feel better.
“Why don’t we go outside and get some air?” Adrianna suggested.
