Page 15 of A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven
Sophia had imagined many scenarios for her time in London, but now she wondered if she had been mad to have come at all.
Chapter 7
Sophia sat in front of the mirror with a drop in her mood once more. It was the day she was going to meet the Matchmaker. And although she still had more than an hour before she needed to leave, she was determined to be ready within the half hour and leave no more than fifteen minutes after that.
It was better that she be embarrassingly early at the Matchmaker’s home than for her to be late at all. That much had been made clear from the note she had received.
Sophia quickly grasped the note and read through it again. There was no warmth at all. She had no idea what to expect of this woman who was to decide her fate.
Would she be kind? Rude? Bold? Sensitive?
All of these questions swarmed Sophia’s thoughts. She was not ready for this. She wished that she could rush back to her home.
But that urge had continued to come and go as frequently as breathing, and she felt as though nothing would ever change that. She simply had to push through and make it to the appointment.
Sophia focused back on the mirror in front of her, determined to finish her preparations.
Her brown eyes were the only thing that stood out as particularly beautiful in her mind. She wondered how she might be able to accent them to the best of her ability.
They were large, which made them stand out on their own. But she wished that the other little flaws that existed on her face would be invisible.
She played with her lux of her auburn hair, plaiting it and letting it loose again. She knew that she would have to wear it up as was expected, but had no idea what fashion suited her most.
Then again, none of that mattered. She knew without a doubt that Adrianna would come and make the decision for her. It had been one of the benefits of having a friend who was so happy to make choices for others.
But there was a great deal more to think about then simply how she looked. Sophia was still struggling with all of her thoughts and insecurities on the matter.
Would the Matchmaker be turned away by the fact that Sophia had so recently been rejected? Would the gentleman to whom she was matched smell the stench of failure upon her? Or would he even have an interest at all?
All of these thoughts overwhelmed her. Once more she regretted agreeing to this strange process. But her parents had thought it was a wonderful idea when Adrianna had presented it.
More than that, Sophia knew that she had to get out of her state of emotional despair. So many of her own thoughts and feelings had changed since being rejected all over again, and she could hardly bear to think about it all happening once more. This time with a man that she hadn’t even been able to choose for herself.
If she faced another rejection, even if it was from Miss Wainwright in finding her a husband, Sophia imagined that she could never again have hopes for a husband. She simply would not be able to press forward. It was far too terrifying a thought to bear.
She admired her friend who was so bold and brave. But that had never been her strength. Sophia was a strong believer in the ways of love and romance, but it had always led her to emotion and, in this instance, heartbreak.
But that would not happen. Not this time. She was determined to see it work this time. She was determined to end the season happily engaged with a man chosen for her by a professional, rather than by her own deceitful heart. She could not do it on her own, but with the help of a woman who was always successful it could finally come to pass.
Sophia would find a suitable man. The Matchmaker would see to it. He would be a kind man, a good man. Exactly the sort that a young woman like her ought to be with. He would be handsome and gentle. He would love her above all else, and show her such a deep sense of care and affection that she would wonder how she had ever lived without him.
The Matchmaker would ensure that he was respectable for her family and that he would bring them pride.
And he would dote on Sophia as if no other woman had ever existed in the world. She would be his priority at all times. He would love her and give her his attention and care.
And, of course, he would be a hard worker. Not just another wealthy man who had an inheritance or whatever else to show for it. He would be the sort who would truly make an effort to provide, so that their children could have grand futures as they had.
The Matchmaker would find all of these things in a man for Sophia.
And if she did not love him, she could push through it. She could make a choice to love him.
You’ve done it before. You made yourself love the Earl. When you were abandoned, you were strong enough to force yourself into love. You can do it again.
The thought had crept into her mind so deviously that she wondered how it had come to enter, unbidden as it was.
And for a moment, that thought overwhelmed her more than any other. The honesty of it was debilitating and wretched. It was something that she had been trying to deny for so long that she had buried it completely.
The tears pooled at the base of her lashes. Sophia knew that she could no longer restrain herself from the despair that she felt. It was not simply the heartbreak of the Earl; it was not his rejection that had wounded her so deeply.
