Page 10 of A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven
“Is there something in particular about going home that has you feeling uncomfortable?” he asked.
Thomas thought about how he could express it all to his friend. There was so much to the story that he had lived with Lady Sophia and he was unsure if Officer Kingsley would understand it.
“There is a woman…” he admitted.
Officer Kingsley grinned as if delighted by this. “Well, that is wonderful to hear. Tell me about this woman. Who is she? Are you planning to propose when you return?” he asked.
Thomas looked back at him, his dark eyes brooding.
“Unfortunately, that shall never be the case. You see, when we were children, we were very close. And even in those days when I would tease her and chase her, when I was a vicious little beast to her, I believed that we would eventually marry,” he confessed.
“Then, as we grew from our youth and we began to see one another truly as a man and a woman, we were closer than ever. A romance was subtly blossoming between us. Nothing improper, just the knowledge shared between her and I that we would eventually wed. There was very little secret about it,” he said.
“I think her parents felt quite the same, knowing that we would be married. My own mother and father supported it quite happily. So as our love for one another bloomed, it seemed only logical that we should eventually take the steps to ensure that we were prepared to spend our lives together,” added.
“What has changed your mind on that?” Officer Kingsley asked.
“I was away on my first tour when she debuted in society. I returned to England a mere three weeks after the season had begun. Already, her beauty was being noticed by others. I should like to think that they saw more than merely her beauty. I should like to think that they saw the incredible young woman who lived within that shell.
“But there is no telling on that matter. All I know is that she was greatly desired and I was not the only man who was seeking to marry her anymore. An Earl had grown particularly fond of her. He had taken a great interest,” he said, pausing to collect himself.
It had been such a long time since he had confided in anyone regarding this matter. But there was so much more to his love for Lady Sophia, so much more to her abandoning him than he could verbalise.
“What happened with the Earl? Did he demand that you release her to be his wife?” Officer Kingsley asked, somewhat confused by how this all might have failed.
“He did not have to. No young woman in her right mind would ever refuse the attentions of an Earl, particularly not the Earl of Bastion,” he said.
Officer Kingsley looked at him intently, with wide eyes and a great deal of surprise.
“Oh, you know of him?” Thomas asked.
“Yes…” he replied, hesitantly.
Thomas sensed that his friend had more to say, most likely out of a desire to protect his feelings. Maybe he was even now coming to understand why Thomas would be upset. After all, the two were most certainly married by now.
“Then you understand,” Thomas continued. “I will say that Lady Sophia did not actively encourage the attentions of the Earl, but that did not matter, it would seem. Just as no young woman would ever refuse the attentions of a man like him, Lady Sophia did not.
“And while I might have had the chance to push my own affections further, I chose a different path,” he added with disappointment.
“What do you mean?” Officer Kingsley asked. Something in his tone told Thomas that he wanted to speak further but was trying not to be rude. He was giving Thomas a chance to finish his own story first.
“Well, I felt betrayed. Perhaps I ought to not have been so upset so quickly, but with the way that she allowed him to try and court her, I took it as an offense and I pulled away. There was no reason for me to continue trying to gain her affections if she was simply going to offer them to another man anyway,” he reasoned.
“But I do believe that part of that was my own fault,” he then confessed.
“How so?” Officer Kingsley asked.
“I have always been filled with regret for not speaking out before she made her debut. I always believed that I must wait, but that was foolish of me,” he said. “You see, there was always something between us. I felt that it was obvious, sweet, even. But our love remained unspoken. If I had declared aloud my intentions, if I had spoken up sooner, things might have been very different.”
“You never spoke to her about your feelings? And nothing ever happened between the two of you to ensure that she was aware of them?” Officer Kingsley asked. His expression was nearing judgment, and Thomas knew that he and his friend were very different men.
Officer Kingsley was not the sort of man who would court a woman without allowing impropriety to enter into the courtship. The idea of Thomas and Lady Sophia loving one another for a great many years and never having so much as shared a kiss would have astounded him.
“Indeed. Nothing improper ever occurred,” he confirmed.
The wide eyes of his friend were filled with disbelief, but Thomas ignored the look and pressed on with what he was discussing.
“Anyway, that was when I chose to enlist for another tour. I purchased a commission and left London for good. Well, that’s what I had thought I was doing, but apparently I have chosen to come back now. I’m surprised at myself for choosing to return,” he laughed.
