“Miss, wonderful. I shall return you to your room now,” she suggested.
Victoria nodded, following as instructed.
A weight of frustration toyed in her heart that she had been so forward. The conversation that she had been having with the Earl about her past was one of openness and truth. She had not in the least anticipated that he would be angry at her for asking about his wife.
She was not trying to open any wounds, but rather wished to discuss the effect of it on his daughter who was now her charge. She wished to know how Marian had been affected and if there was any way in which she could help matters for the child.
But, alas, she had failed to handle the situation properly and had only caused further issues. Now, it seemed, the Earl did not trust her and he was angry with her after all that work of building comfort between them.
Victoria was no fool, she understood her place as a mere employee in the house. But this did not change the fact that she wanted there to be trust between herself and her employer. She did not think that there was anything truly wrong with that, nor did she wonder if it would cause an issue.
She deemed it only useful and positive for helping things in the house to run more smoothly and for proving that she could be a positive governess for his daughter. If she had known that it would cause any issue for her to ask him about his wife, she would certainly not have begun that line of questioning.
By the time she reached her room, Victoria tried to stop berating herself.
“Miss Jamison, is something the matter?” Miss Franklin asked.
“Oh, forgive me, have I been lost in my own head again?” she laughed nervously.
“Perhaps, just a bit,” Miss Franklin replied.
“Yes, well, I’ve only been thinking about matters and the discussion I had with the Earl. I do hope to be a positive influence on his daughter and that she and I might work well together,” she said.
“If I may be so bold, Miss Jamison, I have never seen little Marian quiet like that in the face of an elder. Even her own father cannot seem to get her to behave as well as you have. You ought to know that it was very impressive and I think the whole household shall soon be grateful to you for the work that you have already begun with her,” Miss Franklin giggled.
“I am glad to hear that. I believe she just needs a little bit of firmness and she shall soon be quite the angelic child,” Victoria replied.
“I don’t know about that, but if you see a hope for it, I’ll not say anything to take away such a hope. We have had a great deal of a struggle with her all this time and I think you are just the thing she needs,” Miss Franklin said once more with hope.
“Thank you, Miss Franklin. Your encouragement has brought me a great deal of joy,” she smiled in reply.
“Now, ought I to leave you to it? I imagine you’d like to finally get things squared away,” Miss Franklin suggested.
“Indeed, I would. Thank you,” she said.
“Of course. And if you need anything at all, do not hesitate to call after me. I’m always around and you needn’t worry about getting help. Soon you’ll meet the rest of the staff as well, but until then, count on me for your every need,” Miss Franklin offered.
“Thank you, truly. You have already done a great deal to make me quite at home,” Victoria said.
“It’s my duty,” she replied, taking her leave.
Soon Victoria was on her own in the room, with a fair amount of peace and quiet to simply take in the reality of everything she had gotten herself into. What had she been thinking when she agreed to all of this? Was she mad?
But despite all of her thoughts and wondering, Victoria could not help her thoughts turning to the Earl. It was clear that he was still grieving over his wife and it made her feel quite sad for him. Victoria had sensed his mourning and wondered how she might better have handled the situation.
She couldn’t help but think again of his appearance and how handsome he was, and how interesting the scar was. She had never wished to be the sort who noticed these things so strongly, but there was something truly fascinating about his looks that she couldn’t quite overcome.
The coolness of his eyes, the pitch dark of his hair. Yes, he was an exquisite sight to behold. But it was unimportant. What mattered was that she found a way to make up for having been so bold as to mention his wife.
Victoria could not help but wonder about the rumours regarding her death. If they were all true, then she might be able to have an idea as to how she could interact with Marian regarding the difficulties of having lost her mother.
But until she knew how the woman had died, she would have to avoid the subject at all costs. And while that seemed wise enough, she also felt that speaking to the child about the hardship of her loss was one of the keys to changing her behaviour for the better.
Victoria settled for the fact that she wouldn’t learn anything any time soon. She would have to be patient and not worry about it for now. There would be time, however. There would be a chance to see how the child had been impacted.
But Marian was only eleven years of age and her mother had apparently been lost a full five years before. For a child to have lived nearly half her life already without a mother sounded perfectly devastating to Victoria and she imagined that it had been quite the struggle for poor Marian.
And if the rumours were true about the woman’s death, it was a terrible tragedy and she couldn’t imagine how hard it had been for the little girl.
