Page 69 of The Precious Secret of a Loving Governess
The fact that the child was grieving and begging her to stay was touching to Victoria. She had never imagined that a charge would love her so dearly. More than that, no one had ever imagined that Marian could love a governess.
“Marian, all I truly want is for everyone to be happy. I know that you do not understand it now, but this is the only way that I can assure such a future for us all. I have no choice. When your father returns and I have a new governess in place to watch over you, I must leave. And that is final,” she said with a slow, compassionate tone that carried her firmness.
Marian’s nostrils flared and her brows met in anger. She was unused to anyone giving her anything less than whatever she demanded. Victoria prepared herself for the onslaught of emotion, for the storm that was coming her way next.
“You care nothing for our happiness! If you did, you would stay! But you are selfish. You are leaving us just like Mama did. You care not about me, nor my Papa. You cannot go!” she screamed through angry, hateful tears.
Victoria stayed calm, not allowing herself to show any of the emotions that ran deeply within her now. She understood the anger, understood the abandonment that Marian was feeling, and she hated herself for being the cause of it.
“You can’t go!” she screamed again.
Victoria embraced her once more and ran her fingers through Marian’s hair to calm her.
“I love you, my dear. If I had a choice, I would stay with you forever,” she swore.
Victoria meant every word. She wished that she had a solution that would allow her to remain, but it was not possible. For the sake of her own mind, for the sake of her own heart, she had to leave.
Forever did not include her.
Chapter 32
Reginald inhaled a deep breath. He could hardly believe the previous few days. But here he was, finally.
Standing before Miss Jamison’s door, his heart began to pound a little bit faster. It was the middle of the night and such a gesture could be viewed as impropriety.
But he knew that she would understand. Reginald knew that Miss Jamison would come to realise the reason for his actions and that they were respectfully done.
It would take only a few moments of her time.
Mustering his courage, Reginald knocked on her door. He heard her rustling about inside, the sounds of a surprised sleeper.
But as her feet shuffled towards the door, making just the slightest of sounds for him to make out, he felt confident that he had a chance.
The wood opened to reveal her beautiful face. He gazed out in the candlelight, took in her shock.
“M-my lord?” she asked, evidently ensuring that she was well wrapped enough to cover the sleeping gown that she wore underneath.
“Yes, forgive me for disturbing you so late at night,” he said.
For a moment, he wondered if she would demand that he leave, that he give her some peace and allow her to rest. He would not have blamed her for that;after all, he had been making her life rather difficult of late and could hardly deny that either.
But she seemed resigned to the fact of his presence and he felt certain she would not now cast him away. Even if the way her face held no emotion was frightening to him, he determined that it was a mask of protection for her.
“It is alright. I was not expecting you until tomorrow,” she replied.
“Yes, well, I rushed back here as quickly as I was able. I should like it very much if we could speak. I have so many things to tell you and I could not wait until the morning,” he said with excitement in his voice.
He waited for her to reply, waited for it to register with Miss Jamison that he was there, desperate to speak with her and to interact. He wished to tell her of every moment he had spent and everything that had occurred.
“Oh…of course,” she replied with seeming hesitation.
Reginald was relieved at this, feeling a deep sense of ease with the knowledge that she was comfortable to join him even at this hour, trusting him for the conversation that had to take place.
“I shall give you a moment. Please meet me in the parlour when you are able,” he said, leaving her to ready herself.
Despite the urgency that he felt in his heart, Reginald made every effort to keep his patience. He could hold himself steady, he could be strong until the moment when he was able to be with her in private and tell her everything.
The pain that had been pulsing through him when she announced her departure had been unbearable. No matter what reasons he had given her as to why she could not leave, Miss Jamison had been adamant. She would leave him and he would be alone and his daughter would have no one to continue looking after her and loving her as Miss Jamison had.
