Page 65 of The Precious Secret of a Loving Governess
Victoria sat in astonishment. This was not the sort of passionate plea she had ever expected to receive from the Earl. He had begged her already not to leave, but that had been nothing quite like this. Such an impassioned letter was hardly the sort of thing she expected from him at this point.
“What does it say?” Miss Franklin inquired.
Victoria looked at her as if she had been asked a terrifying question. She could not answer. There was nothing about this letter which she believed ought to be shared. In fact, she wanted nothing more than to read it over again once more to herself and consider each word as it was.
She wished to know the exact thoughts behind all the things that the Earl had said and it would drive her mad with not knowing.
What sort of man did she make him believe that he was? Did he understand now that confession, the small sentence she had given to allude that she cared for him? Did he recognise that she was the one, the woman in this world with whom he truly belonged?
Would he ever see that?
There was no telling. But Victoria was convinced that if they were ever to become anything more than they were, now would be the time for it. And yet that was a foolish thought and she knew it.
Lady Ingles had been there. They had spent time together alone. They had discussed the date of their wedding. So clearly there was less hope than ever and it was foolish of her to think anything different.
“Miss Jamison?” Miss Franklin asked, trying to get Victoria to answer her question.
“Yes, forgive me. But I cannot tell you what it said. It is something that I must keep to myself for now. I am sorry,” she replied.
Miss Franklin nodded in understanding, as if giving up, even though she evidently was rather desperate to learn of the contents of the letter.
“Has it brought you some clarity?” she prodded.
“I think it has only left me more confused than ever,” Victoria laughed, sadly.
“Perhaps that is because I was right all along and you were not meant to leave. Or perhaps in trying to choose what was best for everyone, you made a sacrifice that caused more hurt than peace,” the maid said, understanding that this was the more likely of the two scenarios.
“Why are you so adept at reading me? I have always been told that I have a skill for understanding the emotions and motivations of others, but it would seem that you possess a similar ability,” Victoria laughed again, this time with a genuine chuckle.
“I think I must have learned it from you. Or perhaps it is because we have grown to be friends and I understand your emotions. But whatever it is, I can see that you are upset and that wounds me. I wish that I could see you happy, joyful. But it is not something I seem to ever see in you now,” Miss Franklin said.
“Yes, well, perhaps happiness shall be in my future, but for now I have a great deal of other things to be distracted by,” she replied.
Victoria waited for a moment, hoping that Miss Franklin would leave her in peace to read the letter again, but as the two had grown close it was clear that Miss Franklin preferred to be with her. It was as if she could sense the pain that was waiting for Victoria.
So with that in mind, she relaxed and sat calmly with Miss Franklin, trying to think of other things they could discuss that had nothing at all to do with the estate or the matters that surrounded them.
“Would you ever think to become a governess to Miss Marian?” Victoria asked with delight at the thought.
“Ha! I haven’t the full education for something like that. If I did, I promise you I would not be a housekeeper. I should love to be a governess, but it is not for me. I would have to go back and finish my own learning at a higher level before I could ever do that,” Miss Franklin replied.
Victoria understood and she had known that was the case even before, and yet it upset her that this was the fact. She knew that Marian would be able to handle Miss Franklin just fine as a governess. The two would get along well and it was evident that Miss Franklin would not be departing any time soon.
But it was simply impossible with her education not having gone far enough to qualify her as a governess.
Victoria had promised to remain until the Earl returned, but that was how it had to be anyway. None of the others she had contacted had replied to her yet. She still knew of nobody to take her place who might be a good match for Marian.
And yet, if this letter held any of the care and concern that she felt for the Earl, it would not matter. Perhaps, if she was fortunate enough, she might even be able to stay.
No, she had already deemed that unwise.
“Do you think dinner shall be ready soon?” Victoria asked, still trying to make conversation that would distract her from her own thoughts.
“I can certainly check. But if you wish to be alone to read that letter again, all you need to do is ask. I understand that there is clearly something in there that has you wrapped up in your thoughts,” Miss Franklin said, a knowing grin upon her face.
“Thank you,” Victoria smiled in embarrassment, understanding that she had been caught.
“It’s nothing,” Miss Franklin replied, standing to leave.
