Page 61 of The Precious Secret of a Loving Governess
Victoria understood what it was to fall from the graces of society and how it felt to be seen as a woman who had lost her reputation. Certainly, Victoria’s situation had not changed based on her own actions, but that only would have made it far worse for Lady Ingles.
How could she bear to do that to another? How could she bring herself to wound someone who had treated her with kindness, even if it did seem that it would bring about the better option for everyone involved?
Freedom. That was what this was all about. Lady Ingles needed the freedom to be with Mr. Smith. The Earl needed the freedom to choose a woman he loved. Marian needed the freedom to be a child and have a mother.
And Victoria? She needed the freedom to dream about a future that could never be.
No, Lady Ingles would never manage to recoup her reputation. There would be far too great a damage done and it was unfair of her to do that just for her own sake and her own wishes for a union with the Earl that would never come to pass.
“What are you thinking?” Miss Franklin asked, interrupting the cycle of thoughts that had been haunting Victoria time and time again.
She sighed before answering, “I am thinking about choices.”
Miss Franklin laughed. “Choices? Is that something we shall ever have?”
Victoria joined in the laughter, recognising how foolish it was to even hope that they might have such a thing.
“I suppose not. But it would certainly be a nice thing, would it not?” she asked.
“Absolutely. But I’ve not heard of that ever coming to pass for us. Not women who work for nobility. There is always the choice to fall further down, but that is merely a consequence of our choices. Beyond that, choice is something that is reserved for those who have the world at their feet,” Miss Franklin noted.
Victoria nodded in agreement. It was true. It was also an important reminder to her.
Even if she did choose to tell the Earl about Lady Ingles and her affair, it would mean nothing for her own wishes. She was a mere governess now. And with that fact, she had to accept that she could never change his mind about her.
There would never be a chance or a guarantee that he would make the choice. He could have any young woman in all of England. Why would he choose a governess whose family had fallen from society? Why would he ever align with someone whose reputation had been destroyed by her father’s carelessness?
Yes, choice was something she had to remember. Because it was something that he had and she did not, and there was no changing that. There was no reason to believe that he would ever make the choice for her or that he would ever wish to be with someone like Victoria, even if he were free.
“I am confident, however, that whatever choices you do have, you shall make the right ones,” Miss Franklin remarked.
“Do you truly believe that?” Victoria asked.
“I have seen nothing that would make me believe the contrary. You are a good woman with a kind heart. You understand others and you observe them well. I believe you shall always make the right choice when one is before you,” she confirmed.
“I think that you see a better version of me than what is there. I wish that I could be this woman you claim that I am,” Victoria said.
“Perhaps you do not see it but that should not keep others from doing so. I do see that you are kind and decent. You ought to keep that in mind. After all, we have very little in this world if we have no hope that we might be better,” Miss Franklin said.
“I think you have just given me the word of wisdom that I had hoped for, the one which you did not think yourself capable of giving,” Victoria told her.
“Then perhaps I must listen to myself, for I do not see that I have much wisdom at all. I am a simple housekeeper. But you are right, I suppose. And if we work together to listen to ourselves and we believe that we can make things better, then perhaps a whole new world lies ahead for us,” Miss Franklin said with a great deal of hope.
“Yes, perhaps it does,” Victoria agreed.
“Listen to the heart within you and follow it. I do believe that you shall do the right thing and see the happiness that you wish for the Earl. There is a life to be lived for us all and I know you want what is best,” she reiterated.
But was that true? Would Victoria really do the thing that was best for everyone?
The thing that was best for herself would be to expose the lies of Lady Ingles. But the thing that was best for Marian and the Earl was her silence.
Still, a small piece of her did not believe that. It had not been the best thing for her mother to believe the lies of her father. Could she now truly say it was best to deceive the Earl? Was that truly what he would want?
Chapter 29
Victoria had made up her mind. She finally knew the only solution that was left to her. As she glanced at Miss Franklin, she made the decision that she would handle this on her own.
“Thank you for cheering me up,” Victoria said. “You always do bring me so much happiness.”
