Page 57 of The Precious Secret of a Loving Governess
Their letters had been brief thus far, but he had expressed to her how he hoped to see her that they might discuss things more fully and spend time with one another. Victoria hoped that such a day would come, but also felt increasingly unprepared for it.
To take her mind off the wonder of such a thing, she looked through a few envelopes she had been handed.
Opening one of the letters from her mother, Victoria felt herself instantly uneasy.
My Dearest Victoria,
I was pleased to receive your last letter. It is good that you have begun to build so many relationships amongst the other household staff. It is my deepest wish to see you happy, to see you joyful.
Do you still enjoy your position? Are you happy with the post you have chosen?
Your father and I long to see you at your earliest convenience. However, we understand that such a thing is not easily done when you are under the employee of nobility.
We speak of you often, wondering how things have come to pass for you. Please do tell us what you are feeling these days in terms of your post. After all, the world is vast and there is always room to find joy.
Love always,
Your Mother
The letter resonated within Victoria. She wished that she could tell her parents everything that had occurred. But there was no way of explaining the love that she felt for her employer.
It hurt too much to even confess to herself.
Chapter 27
“Miss Jamison,” Miss Franklin called from the other side of the door, knocking lightly where it was slightly ajar.
“Yes?” she replied, her thoughts gone out of the back window where she stared down at the gardens below. Victoria did not wish for company, but that was primarily because she knew that she had not been keeping her emotions well in order of late.
It had seemed that everyone around her had gained her ability to observe and see the emotions of people when they least wanted them to be deciphered. And this time, it was Victoria that they were observing.
“The Earl has requested you. Lady Ingles is present and has asked that you sit with them for tea. She remarked that she very much enjoyed your company and should like for you to be with the two of them as they spend time with one another,” Miss Franklin said, knowing nothing of the pain that resounded in Victoria’s heart.
An icy feeling crept its way down Victoria’s back. The very last thing in all the world that she wished for was to have to face Lady Ingles.
And yet, the worst was still to come. Of that, Victoria was certain. She felt as though she might be sick.
For a long moment she lingered in her bedroom, considering the fact that she might be able to avoid going down the stairs and being with the other two. Surely she could think of some excuse? Surely there must be some reason she would not be able to join them just now?
But all the thoughts she had that might enable her to avoid them were foolish and selfish. She had faced Lady Ingles many times prior to this, why was she now more terrified than ever to be seen by the woman?
Deep down, Victoria knew exactly why she was anxious. Above all the reasonable thoughts she had for not wishing to be amongst the two, she feared that the Earl would see something pass between herself and Lady Ingles. She feared that he would be able to catch that something had occurred between them, and the secret would be far too difficult to keep.
Of course, even if that did not happen, she still wondered why Lady Ingles would even request her. Was it an attempt at being friendly in order to convince her to maintain her silence? Or was Lady Ingles really the kind woman that Victoria had come to believe her to be? All of it was far too confusing and distressing for her to decipher.
Nevertheless, she knew that she had been summoned and had little choice in the matter. She would go. She would join them. She would be polite and she would remain quiet unless spoken to or asked a question.
And with that determination, Victoria shifted from the window and moved her feet.
Entering the drawing room, she curtseyed and greeted the Earl and his betrothed. Lady Ingles gave her a flash of her beautiful, genuine smile as she greeted her in return.
“It is so good to see you again, Miss Jamison,” she remarked, acting casually as she would with a dear old friend.
Victoria wished that it were all genuine, but she still could hardly believe that Lady Ingles was this wonderful woman that she seemed to be if she could not see how fortunate she was to be engaged to the Earl. Was this just another shade of her dynamic character? Was this another aspect of the woman she wished for the world to see her as?
“And you, Lady Ingles. To what do I owe the honour of this invitation?” she asked, trying to remain polite as she stood before the two.
“Well, you must sit with us, first of all,” the Earl answered her, looking eager that she accompany them.
