Page 50 of The Precious Secret of a Loving Governess
“If I do not accept it, I shall live my days in misery. And at times I do allow myself to wallow for a bit,” she confessed, seeming downcast for only the briefest of moments before coming back to herself.
He looked at her again in the beautiful white gown that lay against her skin with the ribbons and lace that any young woman would admire and covet. She had once been a young woman who’d had it all, truly. She was a society woman, and she had all of the graces and beauty of one.
Her dignity and strength were something that she had been born into but she was trained to show. She understood wealth and status and was comfortable among them. All of it was evident in her posture, in her speech, and in the ways that she so comfortably made eye contact where others in her new station would not be willing to look at their employer.
The very fact of her accepting this invitation to a ball without embarrassing herself was evidence of her natural born position.
Other governesses would either faint with shock and embarrassment, or prove themselves foolish and giddy with no control.
But Miss Jamison belonged.
“Might I ask how long it has been since you made the decision to become a governess?” he asked.
“Well, for the first year after our downfall, my mother did not wish for me to work. She said that there was still a chance that we could return to our former position in society. She believed that perhaps her mother and father would have mercy on us and take us in,” Miss Jamison told him.
“But they are not so wealthy as my father’s family, and in the end it was my aunt who was gracious with us. Our life with her was comfortable, but far from luxury. My mother had been the one in the family to marry above her own station and my aunt is a spinster,” she laughed.
“But after that first year, I knew that I had little choice. We were contributing nothing to my aunt’s home and I knew that I had to choose between working as a governess and finding employment as a housekeeper, which I did not wish for. With the education I had, it would have been a shame not to be a governess and to be able to enjoy the privilege of teaching another,” she said with finality.
“So it took you only the span of a year for you to make that decision?” he asked.
“Indeed. And for the following two years, my mother still insisted that I should marry rather than work. I wished to be obedient to her so we made an agreement that I should wait and if I could not marry within that timeframe, I would find employment and contribute to the household income,” Miss Jamison said.
Reginald admired the fact that she had been so determined to help even when her mother had given her a great many reasons not to. Miss Jamison had initiative and wanted to help in the home and take care of things, something that he could truly admire and see the fruit of.
“I am rather impressed, Miss Jamison,” he confessed.
“How so?” she asked him in surprise.
“I admire the grace with which you chose this life once it was the one handed to you. You have done so without complaint. You are an excellent governess but I imagine that no young woman who had once been in your former position would have chosen this so willingly,” he noted.
“Thank you for your kindness, but I have complained often,” Miss Jamison laughed shyly.
“Perhaps in your thoughts you have, but there is no note of it in your attitude. You show yourself to be strong and committed, even to a future that you were not born to. It is admirable that you have accepted the change so willingly and with such determination to help your family. I cannot tell you how much I admire that,” he repeated.
Miss Jamison’s eyes looked up at his with wonder, and Reginald felt the same sensation of twisting in his stomach that he had been feeling a great deal of late when he looked at the beautiful woman.
She did not see her value and her worth, and she did not see the strength that lay within her. But he noted it. He valued it.
And he would not allow her to pass by without being made aware of it.
Chapter 24
The carriage hit a bump and Victoria’s body caved in towards the Earl. For a moment she felt herself pressed up against him, and he put out a hand on her shoulder to help steady her and ensure that she was not thrown forward.
The moment was a shock to her, the contact between them strong and far too familiar for a governess and her employer. But it left her with a deep sense of calm and peace.
“Forgive me, my lord,” she said, knowing it was proper to apologise.
“It is nothing. Are you alright?” he asked, once she had righted herself.
“Oh yes, yes. I am fine,” she replied with a wave of her hand.
Victoria was glad that it was just dark enough in the coach for him not to see the blush that had worked over her entire body. She couldn’t believe that she had just been so close to him and that he had touched her with such concern, disregarding propriety.
But the Earl had been so kind to her the entire carriage ride thus far. She had been able to be open with him about these matters that she had lived through each day.
He had told her how he admired her, he had praised her bravery and her strength. These were all things that she couldn’t help but wonder if she really had. How was he seeing these parts of her that she didn’t even know she had in herself? Was she truly the woman he thought her to be?
