Page 43 of The Precious Secret of a Loving Governess
But when Reginald did come back to himself when they did look away from one another, he knew that only a moment had been between them. A long moment, a beautiful one. And he could not let it go.
When he looked back at Miss Jamison, her eyes were shy and her cheeks red. She had the most exquisite blush and he wished to behold those blue eyes again. But she was not returning his gaze now, maintaining her own sense of propriety when he wished for nothing more than to throw it all away forever and indulge in the beauty of her features.
“Perhaps we ought to return,” Miss Jamison said in a soft voice as they finished a loop around the pond.
Up ahead, Marian was still bonding with her horse, speaking kind words to the mare and enjoying every moment. Her dark hair fell in contrast to the white mane of the horse upon which she rode, and he wished that an artist could capture the moment in a painting that he might save forever.
The little girl was everything to him and his heart burned with care for her and with a desire to protect her not only from the dangers of things like riding a horse. Reginald wished to protect her from the dangers of society, and the wounds being a part of it might cause. He sought to keep her safe from all of those things which might seek to destroy her.
“Yes, I think that would be wise,” he replied. “But we shall ensure that we come out again. I see how much Marian loves it and I have enjoyed speaking with you as we rode,” he said in full honesty.
“Thank you, my lord. The pleasure has been mine,” she replied with a gentle bow of her head.
The delicacy and strength of her actions were graceful and proper. But Reginald knew that this was a woman who ought to have been elevated back into her rank. There was nothing so terrible about being a governess, but her particular graces were being wasted and unappreciated.
Nevertheless, Reginald allowed her to ride in the quiet that she seemed to prefer, allowing her to keep her horse at just a pace ahead of his own. And with all that was happening, and all that had been spoken between them, Reginald decided that for just a moment he would allow himself to indulge and follow her lead.
Chapter 20
Reginald watched as Miss Jamison’s mare led the way and he called for Marian to come and ride beside him. He wanted to see more of his daughter’s excitement, to remind himself of the importance of these moments. The way her eyes had lit up was infectious.
“My dear, have you enjoyed the ride?” he asked.
His daughter sidled up to him, bouncing steadily on her mare, a great deal shorter than he. She looked the part of a princess and it was precisely how he had always imagined her to look.
Marian was still the very image of him. He had often wished she held more of her mother in her face that the memory of his late wife would go on, but it was easier that she did not.
He was not plagued by his daughter every time he looked at her. Indeed, he had to look closely at her chin or her cheekbones in order to see anything of her mother. The rest was all his own face reflected back in a feminine way.
“Oh, Papa, more than I even imagined! Is it always this wonderful? Is it truly this amazing every time you go for a ride?” she inquired.
Reginald kept his face as steady as he could. He wanted his daughter to believe that it was always as magical an adventure as she had felt it to be that day. Despite the fact that he knew that riding could be painful, that it could end in loss, he nodded his head.
“Yes, my dear. It is always lovely,” he replied.
“So why have you not allowed me to go before?” she insisted, anger twitching between her brows.
Reginald sighed and tried to come to a thought he could answer with. Marian knew that her mother had died during a horse ride, but he did not wish for her to think on that just now and it was evident that she had not made the connection as to it being the reason for his hesitancy.
She was still young, a mere eleven years of age, and it seemed unkind to bring up the sadness of her loss in that moment. He would explain to her in greater detail one day why he had not wished for her to be near the horses, and why he himself had avoided them for the past few years.
“Well, as wonderful as horses are, there is a time for it and a time to avoid it. You are still young and I wished to keep you safe. As you grow older, you shall have a great number of opportunities to ride. But until then, you must remain with me and ride only at my approval,” he told her.
Marian nodded in agreement, a nonverbal promise that she would be obedient. It was one of the many characteristics she was developing as she had begun to acquiesce to the demands of others rather than forcing them to allow her to go her own way as she always had before.
A mere two and a half weeks had passed since her new governess had begun impacting her behaviour. Reginald realised that it had been a full four weeks since her previous governess, who had left the house in a fit of rage.
Thirteen governesses in two years. Each one of them angrier than the last when she left and each one treated worse than the previous by his own daughter. But now, here they were, moving forward and seeing promise for the first time in quite a while.
“Now, what has been your favourite part of the ride?” he asked.
“Talking to her,” Marian answered quickly. It was clear that she had bonded with her mare.
“Well, that is good, my dear,” he grinned. Having seen how much Marian was talking to the horse, he was unsurprised by this. She had evidently found a dear friend in the beast and it made him consider the loneliness of her life.
Children such as Marian had little opportunity to make other friends. She had no siblings and was stuck in the home nearly all the time. She would occasionally see other children at events, but it was not as though she was ever invited to balls at her age.
For a moment, Reginald made a mental note that he must arrange something soon for which daughters would have an opportunity to spend time with one another and that Marian might make a friend. After all, how else was she to learn to fit in with society and to let go of her selfish behaviours?
