Page 38 of The Precious Secret of a Loving Governess
“Forgive me, Miss Jamison,” he whispered.
She did not look up at him, but he saw a slight nod from her.
“Shall I go?” she asked quietly in reply.
Shame welled in his heart and he didn’t want her to go. He wanted her to stay and he wanted to make things right. He was still angry at her persistence, furious that she would come to him like this. But he found himself feeling the weight of his actions and how he had spoken to her, and wishing that he could take it all back and undo the damage he had just caused.
He would not give in just because of guilt. But he also had to consider for a moment the truth behind her words.
“No. No, I think that you are right,” he began.
Reginald didn’t wish to relent. Everything in his heart told him not to allow Marian to go riding. He knew that it was dangerous; he knew that she could be injured and everything in his world could fall away.
But he was keeping his daughter from the education due her. He was causing her to miss out on things that every English girl should be able to enjoy. Miss Jamison was right and he knew it. Reginald hated to admit it, even to himself, but he knew that she was right. He knew that it was the better decision and that accidents such as that of his late wife were uncommon.
“You believe that this is essential to my daughter’s education, correct?” he prodded.
“Yes, my lord,” she replied in a quiet but firm voice. Miss Jamison held to her convictions even when she was reminded that she was not in a position to be afforded them. Reginald admired that.
“Then I shall relent. But only on one condition,” he said.
“What is it you wish?” she asked, looking up and making hopeful eye contact with him for the first time since he had scolded her.
“I should like to accompany you both in order to protect you should the need arise. I would not like to be far from the two of you during this and I cannot allow my daughter to ride without my presence,” he explained.
“Certainly, my lord. That is more than agreeable. I am certain that Marian shall be ever so grateful, as am I,” Miss Jamison replied.
“Yes, well, I cannot say that I am entirely comfortable with it, but you are an excellent judge of activities and I have seen the impact you have made on my daughter already. If you believe this is wise and shall continue to improve her character than I cannot dismiss it,” Reginald conceded.
Miss Jamison nodded, “I am sure that she will be delighted. And I am glad to be able to share it with her. Truly, she is a good child. These opportunities will only continue to help her grow.”
Reginald found himself hearing her words but not responding immediately. Rather, his eyes caught Miss Jamison’s and he was unable to look away for a moment. Hers lingered as well and he sensed that she was caught in her emotions as he was.
Miss Jamison impressed him. She was greatly determined and strong in a way that he did not know young women to be. She cared for his daughter greatly and he hadn’t seen that in another woman since the loss of his wife.
She was not only caring about the simple lessons that a governess must teach a child; Miss Jamison truly wanted to see Marian brought up with a full and proper education, to grow and be given every opportunity. She cared enough to insist and go against his wishes in order to see Marian develop as she ought to.
Miss Jamison wished for his daughter to experience the whole of the world and that was something that many young women were kept from. But perhaps he had kept Marian from it even more than others.
And as the eye contact between them broke away, with Miss Jamison blushing and he giving a nervous laugh, Reginald sensed that all the things he had noticed about this governess were stronger than even he had seen.
She was more than just beautiful and she was more than just the stations in life she had faced. She was clever and bright and brave. Just the sort of woman that he knew Marian could look up to.
“Thank you, Miss Jamison, for your determination,” he said.
“Thank you, my lord, for hearing out my reasons,” she replied.
“I hope you know that the words I spoke, the harsh words, were spoken out of anger and are not truly my thoughts,” he said by way of apology.
Miss Jamison paused, hesitant to respond.
“I understand the workings of society, my lord. And I know that it was not my place to push as hard as I did. But I am relieved that you have seen how this will be a benefit to Miss Marian,” she said again, apparently unwilling to reference exactly the harshness of what he had said to her.
With that, Miss Jamison took her leave and Reginald stayed in the study. He thought for a long moment about the way he had captured her eyes. She was exquisite. He couldn’t help noticing it.
But her beauty was only a small part of her. And although their eyes had connected far longer than what might be deemed polite by society, he was left with a thrill in his gut that he had been able to connect with her for that long.
Such a lingering look had never even taken place between himself and Lady Ingles. He felt a bit of guilt once more, feeling conflicted on that matter. But ultimately, Reginald brushed it aside, favouring instead to think about riding with his daughter and her beautiful governess.
