Page 14 of The Precious Secret of a Loving Governess
Her desire to see Lady Ingles put out was disturbing to her. Victoria wondered where her petty jealousy was coming from. Was she feeling this way out of a desire to see another woman put down? Had her fall from society been so harsh as to harden her heart towards others?
Or was it the small, niggling sensation deep within her that hinted that she could not bear the thought of the Earl being wed to another woman? Oh, that was a selfish thought indeed. After all, it was not as though she were in a position to ever be able to marry a man like him.
Not anymore, at least.
Would she truly begrudge another woman the opportunity to marry a nobleman simply because she could not? That was not at all the sort of woman she wished to be and Victoria pushed the thought away, determined that she would be better than that.
“Well, I am very glad to be learning more about you, Miss Marian, but you have yet to tell me the answers to my questions,” she said, trying to shift her focus back to the task at hand.
“Oh yes, well I love potatoes and the colour pink,” Marian answered. “What else did you ask me?”
Victoria tried to go through as many questions as she could think of and made a very solid effort to retain the answers in her memory. She felt quite certain that the more she knew about Marian, the better their relationship might be, and eventually things would improve between them.
Until that happened, she would continue trying to get to know her and ask her questions as Marian grew to understand Victoria’s care for her.
“And what about you?” Marian asked suddenly.
“What about me?” Victoria asked in return.
“Will you ever marry? Do you have a fiancé somewhere in London?” she inquired.
“No, I fear I do not,” Victoria answered with a false smile.
“And why ever not?” Marian asked.
Victoria paused, unsure how she might be able to answer the question. In the end, she chose to ignore it and move on to discussing books with Marian. And while it was hardly a solution to everything, it gave her peace in that moment.
Chapter 7
Victoria sighed as she sat with the plate at her desk. Having her dinner alone in her room was the best thing for her at that time.
It had been quite a long day, but she was glad that it was over with. It had not been bad, not by any means, but the length and unfruitfulness of her lessons had gotten the best of her.
Miss Franklin had said that it would be no problem at all for her to enjoy her dinner in her room. She was entirely relieved by that, as it meant that she could write to her mother.
Dearest Mother,
It brings me great joy to be able to write to you. I can hardly tell you about the things that have occurred in these past two days. It shocks me how much has changed in such a short time.
First, I shall tell you about the estate. Do you recall the wings of our old home? If you do, that shall give you some sort of an idea. And yet, as beautiful as this home is, it is nothing compared to that in which we once lived.
The grounds are lovely, however. They are the sorts that I am sure you and father would have longed for in days past. Forgive me for mentioning him.
My charge is an ornery child. She is rather disruptive, and yet I cannot help but find myself viewing her with affection. It is very sad how she lost her mother, and I imagine this is a part of the reason for her constant acting out.
Her father, the Earl of Hanover, is quite a spectacular man. He is well aware of our family’s history, and yet he has not rejected me. He has chosen to see the value of someone who was in my position. Indeed, the Earl greatly values the education and status which I once had.
I was intrigued to know that he was so familiar with our story. Although I did not go into detail with him about what came after our family’s fall from grace, it seemed that he did not mind so much. He did not see me as any less for it.
I have been meaning to ask you how Aunt Catherine has been doing since you went to live with her? Are you both quite well? Has father ceased in his harassment of you?
It is certainly rather sad that he did not recognise his love for you until he lost you. I am sorry that you had to experience so much hurt before he was able to express to you his desire to remain true.
I have heard nothing more of him. Since the last time he came to find you and beg your forgiveness, there has been no news. Have you learned anything?
Victoria lifted the pen from her paper for a moment. She began to wonder if anything more had occurred. Her father had gone from losing his family to wishing he had them back. Of course, by then it had been too late.
She had been proud of her mother for remaining strong and refusing him. No matter how society might view her, she knew that she was not in the wrong. No, rather she had been right to cease in her enabling of him.
