Page 60 of A Lady’s Fairytale Come True
Olivia couldn’t help but wonder if the earl would have done the very same thing to her.
With Gemma safely inside the coach, it was time for them to leave. Olivia leaned over and pushed past the earl to grab the handle of the coach. He moved out of the way just in time and she pulled it firmly closed and tapped on the roof for the coachman to begin the journey to take them home.
They jostled forward and Louise and Gemma remained silent.
“Miss Digby!” called a voice, desperate and apologetic, from behind them.
She understood that he was hurt and anxious, but it was nothing compared to how she was feeling. Of that Olivia was certain. He could not know her hurt in the midst of all of this. He had been a fool to behave thus and she had been a fool to believe him.
No, this was what he deserved. To be left behind them. To have to re-enter his home alone, return to a party and entertain his guests through a facade that covered his own misery.
As for hers, Olivia felt quite certain that she would never be able to hide it again.
Chapter 30
Nathaniel was entirely inconsolable. Filled with self-loathing at every turn, he could not believe that he had allowed this to happen. Miss Hawthorne had not even been invited to the ball. How had she heard of it? How had she come to be there? Why had she waited until that precise moment to make herself known?
He could not believe how much trouble she had caused him. Not since his courtship with Miss Digby began had he even given her another thought. Miss Hawthorne had not replied to his letter and in his joy, he had forgotten all about her.
Surely it was wrong of him, but at the same time, he could hardly feel bad when, in reality, they had never been in love. And he knew that she had never loved him any more than he had cared for her. She was angry because she had been embarrassed, and he was truly sorry for that. But it did not excuse the behaviour she had displayed.
But the thing that made him the saddest and sorriest was the fact that he had never told Miss Digby about his past. He could have warned her, he could have said something before to prepare her for this, but he had not. And that was his own fault.
The neglect he had shown was deep and pitiful. Not even considering that she deserved to hear about this other woman, he had wounded Miss Digby without ever intending to. He could have, and certainly should have, mentioned it to her. But he hadn’t and now he was paying for it.
The day after the ball, Lady Kirby arrived to speak with him. Nathaniel had no desire to see her and be scolded by her. He knew that he deserved it, but it was not something he needed in that moment.
When she sat, silently, waiting for her cup of tea, Nathaniel knew it was only a matter of the maid exiting the room before she would tell him what she really thought of him and how disappointed she was.
Indeed, the moment the maid was out the door, she opened her mouth to speak. “I am extremely discouraged by what I saw last evening, Nathaniel. I never would have thought you would be the sort of man to allow such a display. And did you see Miss Digby’s face? What on earth occurred that led to such anguish for that young woman? What did you do?” she asked, accusingly.
Nathaniel put his head in his hands, unable to reply immediately.
“Oh, you didn’t go out of your way to drive her off again, did you? Is this like last time? Did you do it intentionally?” she asked.
“No. No, of course I didn’t,” he replied, feeling desperate.
“Then what is it? What happened?”
“There is so much I do not even know where to begin,” he said.
“I don’t care where you begin, but you had best tell me everything,” she urged.
“It was Miss Hawthorne. I told you that I ended the courtship with her a month ago,” he reminded her.
An expression of horror showed on his grandmother’s face as if she might suddenly have realised who the other woman was.
“Oh, dear. Do tell me. What happened?” she asked in a softer tone.
“I have not spoken to her or heard from her since I ended our courtship. She never replied to my letter and I knew that perhaps she was hurt, but without her reply I could not then write to her again. It was over. I thought there was nothing more for us to discuss after that,” he said.
“But because it was over and things happened so quickly and strangely to bring Miss Digby and I together, I never even imagined that I might need to inform her about the previous courtship. It was not a conscious decision. I am ashamed to say it was something more along the lines of neglect. I never even thought about it,” he confessed.
“Yes, that was probably something that ought to have been disclosed,” Lady Kirby agreed.
“I know that now. But it is too late. Miss Digby believes that I kept it all from her and Miss Hawthorne sowed seeds of doubt in her mind, suggesting that I was going to do the same to her. I would never do such a thing again. It was why I had no desire to begin a new courtship until I knew for certain that I would follow through with it,” he said.
“Then why on earth did you not say anything?” his grandmother asked.
