Page 75 of A Lady’s Fairytale Come True
They made their way into the parlour and Nathaniel sat in the same chair as before while Miss Digby got him the tea. What was typically the epitome of British culture was now the thing delaying him from having the conversation he so needed to have with her.
Before long, Miss Digby returned with the teapot and two cups. She set them down, then returned again with the sugar and milk. With delicate hands, she poured the tea and milk, then with her eyes asked if he would like sugar.
“Two, please,” he replied.
She nodded and added the sugar before stirring it for him. All of this service she was giving him seemed completely unwarranted. Nathaniel wished to jump into his apology, but her duties were slowing them.
“Miss Digby, if you would have a seat, I should like to discuss with you about my behaviour and address what occurred at the ball,” he said, trying to interject.
“We shall discuss it, my lord. But I should like you to be comfortable first,” she replied.
“I am quite comfortable,” he told her in a rush.
It was evident that Miss Digby was trying not to laugh at him for that comment and the urgency with which he said it. Nathaniel laughed at himself, which gave her permission to laugh as well.
“Then I suppose I ought to have a seat,” she said, pouring her own tea.
“Yes, and if you would allow me your ear that I might explain to you, I should be most appreciative,” he said.
“Please do,” she replied.
Nathaniel took a breath, prepared for all that he needed to explain.
“Might I ask first whether or not you read my letter?” he asked.
“I did,” she nodded, her smile broadening. This gave him restored hope.
“I am glad for that. Then you have read what I know of us. But I should like to explain to you that Miss Hawthorne was wrong. I shall never seek to end the union between yourself and me. What was arranged by my father with Miss Hawthorne was something I never wished for.
“And it is true that I fought my grandmother for what she arranged with you. But you took me entirely by surprise, Miss Digby. I fell in love with you, which I never thought would happen for me with any young woman. I spent years believing I was not capable of love.
“I saw my mother and father. Just as you told me that you saw yours. They were unions without love. Conveniences only. And I did not want that. For me, if I could not have love, I preferred to be alone,” he said.
Miss Digby eyed him with feeling and he saw that she understood entirely what it was that he was trying to say. Nathaniel knew she could agree as she had confessed about her own mother and father that they had been the same as his.
But he had not finished.
“I failed by not telling you about Miss Hawthorne, but I can tell you now that, truly, the reason I did not mention it, was purely for the fact that I was so entirely in love with you that I failed to remember her. I failed to inform you about a previous courtship because the one we had was all that mattered,” he said passionately.
“I love you, Miss Digby. Could you ever forgive me for yet another time?” he asked.
Nathaniel waited a moment as Miss Digby took a sip of her tea. She set the cup down and sighed.
“My lord, I read your letter. I spoke with my father. And now I am hearing these words from you. Surely, you must understand why I felt so angry and disheartened by your previous actions. You must understand the humiliation and confusion that I felt at the ball,” she told him.
Nathaniel nodded, wondering if she had intentionally lulled him into a false sense of security. Perhaps her anger was only just about to present itself. Perhaps she had wanted him to think she was going to forgive him so that she could now address the many faults she could so easily find with him.
“I do. I understand. And I am filled with regret,” he reiterated.
“I know. And that is why I am happy to tell you that I do forgive you. Of course I forgive you,” she said.
The weight that had rested on Nathaniel’s shoulders lifted and freedom was in his grasp. But still, there remained a distance in Miss Digby’s posture. She had forgiven him, but that didn’t necessarily mean that she was willing to jump back into their courtship or that she would allow things to continue as they had.
“And what does that forgiveness mean for us?” he asked.
“Well, I suppose that all depends. You see, I should like to continue as we were. But I also know that there is much for us to discuss should that be our decision,” she answered.
Nathaniel nodded. It was true. They would have to figure things out and he could sense that she was still hesitant to reinstate their courtship until it had all been addressed.
