Page 24 of A Lady’s Fairytale Come True
“It matters not what I might wish to say. You told me that you wished for me to find a woman that I loved and then you made this decision without my knowledge. You told me that I must marry this girl if she was willing. It would seem that she is not willing. So I shall find a wife of my own choosing,” he responded.
“What a fool you are. Do you not know that this young woman is exactly the sort that should make any man a proud husband?” she asked.
“No, I don’t know that. How could I? I know nothing about her and you have thrown her in front of me, expected me love her instantly or some such nonsense. But that is not realistic, Grandmother. I cannot be expected to suddenly find love when there is none to be found,” Nathaniel said.
“How do you know there is none? I did not arrange this day that you might insult her and chase her away. I arranged it so that you might have a chance to get to know her as you have said you were not able to do before. I arranged this that you might be able to learn if she is someone you could love,” his grandmother said.
“And if she had loved me and I had not? You would have forced me into a marriage with her. You would have expected me to wed her without my own consent and that is hardly fair for either of us,” he reasoned.
“But I know well what could be between the two of you, Nathaniel. What I did was for the best of you both. You might choose not to believe me, but I am not going to lie to you. She is the woman you belong with, my dear. One day you will see that I am right,” she told him flatly.
Nathaniel hated arguing with his grandmother. And he no longer felt prepared to face consequences when he was still angered by the choices she was making on his behalf. It was unreasonable for her to think that he should bow to this whim and accept what she was forcing upon him.
“Nathaniel, I am extremely disappointed in the behaviour that you have shown today. I know that you are aware of that, but I have no choice other than to reiterate it. You acted wrongly, poorly. You acted in such a way that has left our family ashamed and you have caused a great deal of harm to our reputation,” she scolded.
He listened, accepting whatever it was that she had to say now.
“Instead of continuing the legacy of your parents, the one they inherited from myself and your late grandfather and his family before him, you have shown this horrendous action. You have allowed us to be shamed by your petulance,” she continued.
“You must know that how you treated Miss Digby was worse than I ever might have expected from you. You made her feel ashamed of her station and that is not the sort of man you were raised to be. You have never been a harsh judge of circumstance or treated others unequally. You learnt from your father that there was no distinction. But today, you wronged that young woman.”
Nathaniel swallowed his guilt, knowing that his grandmother was correct in every way. He had done this and he couldn’t deny it, no matter how legitimate he considered his reasons to be.
“Now, having said that, I must insist that you go to her tomorrow. You shall give her this night to recuperate from all that you have said and done. And tomorrow, you shall go to her home and apologise. There is no debate on the matter. It must be done,” she demanded.
Nathaniel sighed and looked away, he wondered if there was any possibly way out of this. He deserved it, and Miss Digby certainly deserved an apology.
“As you wish,” he replied.
“Finally you are being wise. Yes, this is what I wish and it must be done. After all, you need to marry and this is the young woman I have chosen for you. If you are able to undo the damage that you have done, then you must,” she ordered him further.
“I shall make every effort,” Nathaniel conceded.
His grandmother said no other word, but after a moment of eyeing him intensely, she turned on her heels and departed the from the study, leaving him alone to himself. The silence overwhelmed him, but Nathaniel accepted it, another addition to his punishment.
The day continued to pass uneventfully and he did not see his grandmother again until dinner time when they met in the dining room. She was dressed in the same gown as earlier in the day even though they had no guests now. Her mood had not seemed to lighten a great deal, but at least she was not so stiff as she had been before.
It was a quiet affair, but now and then she would ask him a vague question regarding his gentleman’s club or how this or that earl or duke happened to be. When she enquired about Doctor Fairweather, Nathaniel felt more inclined to speak.
“He is doing very well. Have I told you about his current studies?” he asked in earnest.
“Yes, yes, you have. You know that I am not well versed in these medical affairs.”
“Forgive me, I do not wish to bore you. But I am quite thrilled by the fact that he has done so much and made such grand progress. To be a man like that, how magnificent it must be,” Nathaniel exclaimed.
“A little late, don’t you think?” his grandmother remarked callously.
Nathaniel lowered his eyes, looking at his plate. It was true. He had not been able to pursue medicine and could not now. And what did it matter now that he had already lost his parents? He wished he could turn back time, insist that his father allow him to become a doctor. Or that at least Doctor Fairweather might have been able to help them before they were lost.
“My apologies,” the dowager said in a quiet voice. “I did not mean for that to come out so harshly. I meant that it is too late for us to undo what happened to your father and mother and that we must move forward with our lives. I know how difficult that is, but it must be done. We cannot remain in our grief always, easy though it may be.”
Nathaniel understood. Nevertheless, it was a difficult thought to consider, that they might be able to move forward and continue working towards a life of their own. He had no one now but his grandmother and a few cousins. But not one of them could replace his parents.
He noted the glisten in his grandmother’s eyes then and recognised that her own sadness was overwhelming to her. His father, her eldest son, had always been a favourite and it was not easy to hide.
When the dinner came to a close, Nathaniel said goodbye to her, making way to his own estate and preparing for the next day when he would have to face Miss Digby again. He would do it for the dowager. A woman who did not get enough time with her own son, she simply cared for Nathaniel too much.
And in some ways, perhaps he didn’t mind as much as he wanted to. Maybe he had even slightly hoped that his grandmother would force him to apologise. Maybe it was a good thing and something that deep inside he had been longing for. Not because he wanted to be coerced into a marriage, but because Miss Digby was not what he had expected.
