Page 28 of The Lord who Captured Her Innocent Heart
The group laughed, with Ella blushing wildly. Peter guessed she wasn’t accustomed to such sincere discussion regarding her abilities. Ordinarily, those discussions were reserved to topics of Tatiana.
“As I mentioned a week ago,” Tatiana began, as the laughter quieted, “Frederick has truly shown me a side of academia that I couldn’t comprehend prior. I used to tell Ella that she might die within the pages of a book, but now I very much feel that that might be my position. What was it you were reading to me the other afternoon, Freddy?”
Peter’s heart sunk. Tatiana was now calling Frederick, “Freddy,” which surely meant they’d elevated to yet another level of seriousness. It seemed that he and Ella’s strategy was floundering, potentially drowning. He fell out of the next few sentences of the conversation, pondering what to do next.
Suddenly, Peter drew himself onto his knees and spoke directly towards Ella. His heart thudded in his throat. “I think I might make a tour around the picnic area.” He made sure his words were heavy, articulate, showing Ella he was doing something — something that was meant to include her, his champion partner. “I dare say I saw a fine selection of cakes in the corner.”
“Oh, yes. They’re mother’s favourites,” Frederick said. “Would it be possible to bring enough for the rest of the group?”
Perfect! Peter nearly leapt from his skin in excitement. “I dare say I’ll need a bit of assistance.”
“I’ll do it,” Ella offered. She surged forward, nearly hobbling from her seat on the picnic blanket before righting herself and giving him a crooked smile. “We shan’t be long.”
Peter ducked between two picnic blankets, guiding Ella with him towards the edge of the crowd. Various people stood, sipping drinks, casting their heads back with laughter, while many others picnicked in small groups upon their blankets. He gazed across the garden, noting that every man and woman and child seemed very much latched in their own conversation, sans any comprehension of what occurred around them. This was the perfect backdrop through which he and Ella could have a proper conversation.
Ella started it, her eyes filling with tears. “I don’t suppose that went precisely as planned, did it?”
Peter’s heart surged with apprehension. He halted quickly, his eyebrows lowering. “Why are you crying, Ella?”
Ella stuttered slightly. She reached for her eyes and flicked the first tear away. “No, no. I don’t mean … It doesn’t make me cry so much. No. It’s not about Tatiana, it’s not about Frederick.”
“Then what is it?” Peter asked, his voice low, scratchy.
“Nothing. Really, it’s nothing.”
They were silent for a moment. Peter itched the back of his neck, wondering what to do next. He imagined Ella was surely lying. This all was very clearly a result of Frederick and Tatiana’s growing love. Wasn’t it?
“It’s just–” Ella began, sweeping her hands around her neck. “It’s just, I’m beginning to feel that we’re rather foolish, Peter.”
Another tear swept down her cheek.
“What do you mean?” Peter asked. “Foolish? Foolish how?”
“It’s just. It’s so clear that our efforts to draw them apart have shown us just how much they’ve thought about their differences,” Ella whispered. Her eyes raced back and forth, seeming to ensure that no one of purpose heard their conversation. “It’s clear that this isn’t going to be as easy as we thought.”
“That doesn’t mean we should simply give up on it,” Peter baulked. “Just because something is difficult, doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile.”
“And what if it isn’t worthwhile?” Ella guffawed. “I suppose I’m beginning to feel a bit silly.”
“Are you saying you no longer have feelings towards dear Frederick?” Peter asked. He slipped his arms over his chest and inhaled sharply, squinting at her. “Are you saying that you’ve cast your love for him to the side, so willing to give up on what you felt was true for so many years of your life?”
Ella’s cheeks frosted pink. She stuttered again. “I — I — that’s not what I mean at all.”
Peter wasn’t sure what led him to say the following. “Because I’m unwilling, beyond anything else, to let go of my feelings for Tatiana,” he said.
Even as he spoke them, they seemed sour in his mouth, as though the words belonged to someone else. But he stood on them, as though they were his foundation, and he felt unwilling to waver.
“I understand. I know you love her,” Ella murmured. Again, her eyes filled with tears. “It’s just, perhaps it would be best for us to simply carry on with our lives, with our individual heartbreaks. This way, we won’t destroy either of them. The two people we love most in the world.”
A child cut through their legs, nearly toppling Ella to the side. Peter lurched forward, gripping her elbow. He chuckled, watching as her face clenched with surprise.
“It’s as though I’m about to fall every second,” Ella sighed. “I can’t seem to get my grip on reality.”
“It really is something to watch,” Peter returned. “It’s as though you’re on the brink of falling apart.”
Ella rolled her eyes back. “What do you say regarding my proposition, then?” She matched him, now, crossing her arms over her chest. “We’re playing with fire, Peter. We really are.”
“Isn’t playing with fire so delicious?” Peter asked, smirking.
