Page 61 of Loving a Noble Gentleman
Charlotte’s eyes widened as she saw her husband standing there in front of her for the first time in days. It was almost as if he knew that she was thinking about leaving him. As their eyes locked, he did not say a word, but she could see the apology in his eyes. She knew that he was sorry ... but he always was. He never said it, but she knew that he always was. Then again it did not make any difference, did it? He was always sorry, and his behaviour did not change.
This is my moment,she thought as she looked at him.I need to decide now.
Lord Jones was much older than her and not handsome when she met him. She did not agree with her father’s decision to make her wed him, but she went along with it because she knew that she had to. She did not have any choice. Now as she saw him, he was even uglier than before, there was nothing attractive about him. He really did make her feel sick.
“What do you want?” she asked coldly as her eyes fixed to the floor. “I do not think that we have anything to say to one another, do we?”
Lord Jones reached out and rubbed his arm down Charlotte’s arm. She flinched away from him, hating the feel of his skin against hers. He let his hand flop back down by his side deflated. He knew that he had done a terrible thing; Charlotte could see it, and she could see that he probably did not think that he would do it again ... but he would.
“We cannot remain this way forever, can we?” he almost whined. “We need to sort this out, eventually. Do you not think?”
Charlotte screwed up her nose; she did not want to sort it out. Maybe there was a chance that with her husband in front of her, he could turn her mind around, but actually, even with his soft-spoken tones, he was pushing her further away. Now, more than ever, she wanted to leap into the carriage that Duke Smith had arranged and leave forever more.
“I do not see where we can go from here.” Charlotte took a step backwards. “I do not think that this is repairable.”
Lord Jones could not understand at all what was going on here. He did not recognise what Charlotte was trying to say to her. “So what are you suggesting? Would you like me to continue giving you some space? Do you think it will take more time?”
Charlotte shook her head as she continued to move backwards. “I do not know,” she said quietly. “I do not know how long it will take. I think I need some real space. I think ...” She was scared to say it, but she needed to at least try to do this rationally. Maybe Lord Jones would just understand, and this would be simple. She did not know if this was possible, but she had to at least give it a try. “I think I need to go away for a while to get my head together.”
“What?” Lord Jones turned a funny shade of red. He stepped closer and grabbed onto Charlotte’s arms too hard, already going back on his inner promise not to hurt his wife again. “What do you mean? What will everyone think if my wife just vanishes into thin air?”
“Is that all you care about?” Charlotte hissed, yanking herself way. “All you are concerned about is everyone else? Who cares what they think of us, our marriage is just for us is it not?”
Lord Jones did not have anything to say to that. He could not fathom what Charlotte was saying. Of course their marriage was in the public domain, it was no different to everyone else. It was the courtesans on the side that were kept secret and only discussed between the men. He could not understand what would happen next. He needed to make things right with Charlotte and did not have any choice.
“Charlotte, you are being so ridiculous. I cannot believe what you are even saying here. You cannot leave; that just is not possible. We have to just get past this and move on. We have our baby coming.” He reached forward to touch her belly, but Charlotte batted him away. “We need to sort out these problems in our marriage.”
Charlotte could not hear his words anymore; they were cutting through her like a knife. She stomped past her husband, practically knocking him out of the way as she went, and she moved back into the same room as Mary. Her sister was pressed up against the door, so she knocked her backwards as she did, but Charlotte hardly noticed that.
“I am ready for this,” she declared fiercely. There was no longer a fog inside her brain; she had never felt more crystal clear in her entire life. “We are going to do this.”
“We are?” Mary’s heart raced again. She expected Charlotte to come in here to tell her to go alone again, which would have left Mary speechless. She would not have known what to do from there. But now she was hearing everything that she wanted to hear, and it made her anxious. “Yes,” she said much more firmly. “Yes, we are.”
“I shall go and get my stuff together now. I need to pack right away.”
Mary grabbed gently onto her sister’s arm, twisted her around and pulled her to look at her. “Charlotte, are you sure about this? You are not acting out of anger? And how will you get your things together with Lord Jones around?”
Charlotte did not like her sister’s assumption. “I know exactly what I am doing,” she hissed. “This is what I want now. I am certain. Myhusbandwill be back into his office now, hiding away until he thinks that I have calmed down from my temper tantrum.”
Mary let Charlotte go, hoping that she was doing the right thing. It seemed that they were really going now ... on to a new life.
