Page 22 of Loving a Noble Gentleman
“I am scared that I shall die,” Charlotte continued, only spiking Mary’s fear further. Was her husband so violent that she was scared he would hit her? “Just like Mother.”
Oh ... of course.
Mary did not know how to take that; it completely stunned her. It was harder for Charlotte than it was her to lose their mother because she was a little older. Maybe she could not exactly remember her too much, but there was a sensation that surrounded her that reminded her of what it was like to be loved unconditionally by the woman who birthed her.
Would she feel the same way when her child came into the world?
“Yes,” Mary said breathily. “Our mother died while she was giving birth to me. Of course you are scared.” She glanced down at her sister with tears welling in the back of her eyes. “Why did you not tell me about all of this? I feel silly now, talking about my problems when you are going through so much yourself.”
Charlotte shook her head sadly. “No, it is nice to think about something else. This has consumed me for so long now; I like a distraction.”
Mary sat back down and clung to Charlotte as if she was scared that she would float away. How could she have been in such a panicked state about whether to marry the Duke or not when all the while her sister was scared that she would not live anymore. Did that make Mary selfish? She could not be sure ...
“What do you think you will do?” she asked Charlotte in a small, scared voice. “What can you do?”
“There is nothing that I can do,” Charlotte replied with a helpless shrug. “I am having the baby ... my husband’s baby. I am only sure this will give those horrible society women more reason to dislike me.”
Again, Mary was silenced. Without having much experience with society women, this was not something that she could talk about. She presumed it would have been something that their mother discussed with them ... had she been alive.
For the first time in her whole life, Mary experienced a true sense of helplessness; she could actually match Charlotte’s emotions with this one. When she first heard that she was going to get married, she was afraid, but nothing like this. This was truly something else. Her sister was pregnant, trapped, and in a desperately unhappy situation that showed no sign of getting better.
“Maybe ... maybe you will love being a mother,” she suggested, aware of the hollow sound in her voice. “I certainly do not believe that you will die in childbirth. What happened to Mother was eighteen years ago. Medicine has progressed immensely since then.”
“People still do not always survive childbirth,” Charlotte replied. “It is not a guarantee. Do you think that maybe we are more likely to struggle because of what happened to Mother?”
Mary had never had cause to think of anything like that, but now the thought almost consumed her. Was that a hereditary thing? Neither girls had thought to ask their father about their mother’s mother. Maybe she died in childbirth too ...
“I am certain that you will be fine.” Mary forced a smile on her face. She could not let an already worried Charlotte continue to be terrified. “And I am sure that your baby will bring you no end of happiness. You will make a wonderful mother.” A thick ball of emotion lodged itself firmly in Mary’s throat, and it was one that she could not swallow down. “You spent enough time taking care of me.”
“I did not,” Charlotte let out a little sound that was almost like a chuckle. “Father had staff to take care of the both of us.”
“I know.” Mary nodded agreeably. “But you were still a wonderful sister, and you will make a fantastic mother too.”
Charlotte felt utterly grateful for her sister’s kind words. In a way, she was so glad that she had decided to tell her. At least now it was not some shameful secret that she was keeping just for herself ... but in another way, maybe it was not that good. As soon as Mary went, so would any positivity she felt about the situation.
This baby was still coming, whether she liked it or not.
“Would you ...?” Mary did not know what she was supposed to do. All she wanted at that moment was to help out her sister. Any problem she had herself paled into insignificance. “Would you like me to come and stay here? For you, not me?” Mary was not sure that Charlotte’s husband would like it much, especially if what she suspected about him was true, but he was not important to her.
Charlotte did, of course she did. She would have to be utterly insane not to, but she could not invite her sister into her complex family life if it were not utterly necessary. Lord Jones would not like it, and she did not want to cause an unnecessary argument with him. She would do it to help out Mary, but not herself.
“No, no,” she said as she wiped a stray tear away. “I do not wish you to come and stay here. Not when you have so much to decide yourself.”
“Do you mean with the Duke? Because that truly does not matter ...”
“Yes,” Charlotte insisted with more strength to her words now. “Yes, it very much does matter. You have to work out what you want to do with your future. I and my problems are not going anywhere.”
Mary could tell that this was just an excuse, so she nodded and agreed with Charlotte. “That is fine; I shall do whatever you require. However, I shall be here more often so I can help you with whatever it is that you need.”
The girls held onto one another for a little longer, staring at each other as they tried to adjust to all the changes that life was suddenly throwing at them. Charlotte was still very unsure about how she felt when it came to her pregnancy, cementing her in the life that she hated. Mary did not know whether she was supposed to be happy, excited, or very scared. Everything was very confusing, and not knowing about where her life would take her next was slightly unpleasant. It could either be very good, or very bad. Maybe everything was so confusing for a reason. Hopefully, it would all become clear soon enough.
“Shall we have some more tea?” Charlotte asked thickly through the tears. “I believe I would like to sit with you some more as I calm down.”
“I would love that,” Mary agreed. “Whatever you need. Please just know that I am almost here. Whatever I can do, I shall do.”
Mary did not know what she could offer; she was not someone with any sort of power. She did not even have enough money to help her sister escape. All she might potentially end up with was the house ...
Maybe I should marry the Duke,she suddenly thought as a spark of inspiration, her heart racing quickly.Then I can inherit the house and give it to Charlotte to escape. Maybe that is what all of this is leading to ...
