Page 12 of Loving a Noble Gentleman
As he spat those words out again, it was with much less conviction. Now that he had spoken about it to his mother a little, he felt less strongly about everything. Maybe she was right about the way that Mary had acted; perhaps he was making it a much bigger thing in his mind. Maybe he had not acted perfectly himself.
But he could not back down. He had said far too much about it.
“I will see what I can sort for you. I am sure it is supposed to be your father doing that but since he is not here ...” Iris stopped herself and smiled. “Anyway, it does not matter. I will ensure that you are invited to the best events. I will help you to find a wife.”
“Oh, yes, I look forward to it.” Edmund gave his own eye roll without really thinking about his actions. “Thank you very much, Mother.”
Iris stood up and walked towards the door with almost a skip in her step. Helping her son to find the perfect woman for him gave her a purpose that she had not felt in a very long time. Edmund might not see it now, but this was exactly what he needed. A good woman in his life would make him very happy.
“You do not need to be sarcastic, Edmund. You will soon see. Love does not always come as an initial moment of excitement anyway; sometimes, you need to be prepared for it to grow slowly. It might be a good idea for you to plan to see a woman more than once before you make up your mind about her ...”
“Yes, maybe if there is something that I might learn to like about her, not when it is instant dislike.”
“Oh, Edmund,” Iris shook her head at him. “Sometimes I think you can be so naïve.”
Edmund rolled his eyes and stormed out of the room, past his mother after that nasty comment towards his study. If anything, his mother’s words had made him even angrier than before. Why did she feel the need to interfere with everything? Why could she not just let him be? He was only four and twenty years old; he knew men that got married much older than him. It was very silly to think that there was any rush.
I will marry a woman that I love, and no one can tell me otherwise.
Determination flowed through him; he felt even stronger about his convictions now. Hewouldfind love somehow or another. And it certainly would not be with Mary Roberts. Even if his mother was right about him, he felt utterly certain that she was not the one for him.
***
As Iris handed Edmund a stack of invitations to events that had come through the mail for him, he had to admit that he was impressed. He had pushed the idea firmly to the back of his mind as he got on with his business and everyday life; he had not thought much about it, but it seemed that Iris had not done the same.
“Oh, I did not realise that this was something you were still doing,” he said as he took them from her. “Have we not moved past this?”
“I did not wish to speak of it considering it caused us to have such a fall out before, but yes, of course. I still wish for you to get married ... unless you are considering giving Mary Roberts another try? Have you reconsidered how you feel about her yet?”
Edmund did not want to admit it, but the more that time had passed, the more he could think only about her beauty rather than the things he did not like about her. He was not going to tell his mother this for fear of being accused of being shallow. He did not want Iris to think that after all of his convictions of only marrying the one that he loved, he was now thinking of a woman’s beauty over everything else.
“I do not think so,” he replied with an air of nonchalance. He jutted out his chin and kept his eyes away from his mother. He did not want her to see right through him. She knew him so well that she probably could anyway.
“Have you sent word to the man who is in control of her father’s estate, letting her know of your wishes?”
As Edmund shook his head, Iris knew with utter certainty that there was still a chance. Her son did everything by the book; he always made sure that his paperwork was filed on time. If he had not yet sent that letter out, there had to be a reason for it. Maybe he was thinking about Mary more than he let on.
After Edmund came home raging about his meeting with her, and he confessed to listening to all the rumours and gossip about her, Iris did some digging of her own. In all honesty, Iris had not managed to find out a lot about Mary or her sister. They seemed to be very quiet and mysterious. Two qualities that would probably lead to them being gossiped about negatively. Iris had lived long enough not to believe too much herself. She preferred to reserve judgement to discover her own opinions.
She would not tell Edmund, but secretly she was holding out hope she was the one that her son would end up with.
“Well, you must do it soon, especially if there is an inheritance hanging on it, and you do not wish to see her again. I presume she will need to make other arrangements. It is not fair to leave your decision unknown.”
For some reason, the idea of Mary makingother arrangementscaused a tight knot to form in Edmund’s chest.
What is wrong with me?he asked silently.Why do I care? If I do not wish to marry her, then I should let her be with someone else.
“I will send out a letter next week,” he said determinedly, more to himself than his mother. “Next week, after I have been to at least one of these events.” He held up the invitations although of course she already knew what he was talking about. “Then I can hopefully get back to doing what I do best without any interference.”
“Good, yes of course.” Iris held up her hands in a surrendering gesture. “You know that I only wish the best for you, that is all.”
Edmund did know that. He felt terrible for the way that he had been acting towards her when all she wanted to do was help. “You know I love you, Mother,” he said a little stiffly. “And I am grateful. You know what I am like. I am just set in my own ways. I want what I want.”
“I know, Edmund, and I respect that about you. I just want you to open yourself up a little more. You are a wonderful man. You will make someone a wonderful husband, and I am sure you will be a great father to any children you have. I just want you to have it all.”
Edmund thought about his own father at that moment in a way that he had not in a very long time. He wondered if he would be close to his father if he were still alive; he wondered if he would be there to give him some advice. Would his life be different if he had not lost his father? Would he be more open to letting love in without putting too much pressure on himself and the women that he met?
It was then he realised that he was affected by the loss of his father just as Mary was. He had also been told during his search for information about the Roberts girls that their mother was no longer around either. That had to be very hard, no parents at all. He gave his mother a grateful look, glad that she was still around.
“I will go into it with open eyes; I promise you,” he told her in a moment with his guards down. “I know it is important to you that I am happy.”
“And fulfilled,” Iris jumped in. “I know that you are happy with your business. I know that overseas trade keeps you excited, but there is more to life. I just do not want you to forget that.”
As Edmund walked away, his mind was all over the place. Again, without even trying, his mother had made him think about things in an entirely different way. Or maybe she did know exactly what she was doing; perhaps she chose her words very carefully to ensure that he was sent into a tailspin. Either way, Edmund had the very strong feeling that everything was going to change. He did not know if this was a good or bad thing, but it seemed that he was about to find out...
