Page 74 of A Bride for the Icy Duke
That dignity she found especially thin on the ground as Alexander handed her into the carriage to Lady Harrogate’s ball.
“I know it must be difficult for you, visiting that house,” he said, in such a warm tone that she suspected he thought he had discovered the reason behind her reticence. “I don’t blame you for dreading it.”
“I am happy for Lord and Lady Harrogate that they have found happiness there,” she replied woodenly.
“You can be both—happy for them, and sad that you must endure your childhood home lived in by another.”
Lydia drew in a long breath as she considered the matter. When she’d first returned to the area and learned where Marie now lived, it had come as a shock, but upon reflection, it had been a welcome one.
“I was happy there with my father and mother,” she began. “I have a lot of happy memories in that house—and a lot of sad ones, too. After I moved to London, I thought I would never see it again, but to know that one of my dearest friends is enjoying her own happiness there brings me joy, too. I would much rather the house be lived in by someoneIlove than it be ripped apart by a stranger who cares nothing for it.”
“Has it changed a great deal since you lived there?”
She shrugged, feeling the familiar sting of tears clog her throat, but they were not due to the prospect of visiting that old home. Time and time again, she lost the things that were precious to her—and in the case of her old home, she felt as though it was for the best. Better Marie lived and loved there; better sheseehow well that old house was loved.
But what of the other things she had lost?
“Lydia…” Alexander tried, his voice gentle. “Confide in me. Where have you gone these past few days?”
She couldn’t tell him, so she just shook her head. “Can you—can you hold me?”
In answer, he came to her side of the bench, moving carefully so the carriage wouldn’t sway too drastically. Just as the day he had chased after her and found her by the lake, the heavens had opened, rain slanting down. She trembled as he drew her to him, pulling her onto his lap.
“What is the matter? I thought it must be the house, but if it is not, then—”
She brought her mouth to his in a searing kiss. Lips, tongues, teeth. His hands tightened on her arms, sliding to her waist as he held her to him, and she lost herself in his mouth. They were a perfect storm, one that matched the torrent raging outside, and she did her best to banish every other thought.
They crept in anyway. This was probably the last time they would come together like this. The last time they would kiss...
If he was leaving, she doubted he would come back for this. No doubt he could find it elsewhere in London. Or he would remain chaste for the rest of his life, pining after a lady who had long since died, and abandoning the very real, very alive woman in his arms who just so desperately wished to be loved by him.
“Don’t say anything,” she breathed when he broke away and attempted to speak. “I know you want to, but just… Let this be.”
“What is this?”
A goodbye.
“I have missed you,” she whispered, which wasn’t a lie, and the truth of it burned her throat.
“I have missed you, too.” He slid his hand around the nape of her neck, kissing her again, and even though they were in a moving carriage with rain pelting the windows and the pain of heartbreak in her chest, she felt that thing he always managed to inspire in her—that desperate, aching, wonderful hunger.
If this was the last time she would ever be with him, she would make it count. As she shifted against him, she felt the press of his arousal, and he groaned low in his throat.
“Lydia, what are you doing? Do you want to drive me mad before we even arrive?”
I want you to regret leaving me behind.
I want to live in this moment forever with you.
I want to ensure you never forget me.
“Would that be so bad?” she asked, biting his bottom lip and tugging it gently.
“It soundsinfuriating,” he groaned deeply, but he slid his hands around to her derrière and pulled her flush against him. “Awful. Terrible.”
“Brilliant.”
“Dreadful.” His voice lowered to a murmur, and he kissed her this time. She drew up her skirts, and to her relief, he brought his hand between them so he could stroke her exactly where she needed him.
