Page 34 of A Bride for the Icy Duke
“When I came in last night, you seemed uncomfortable.” She shrugged. “I thought I might add to your comfort in some small way. But you were drinking, and I thought you might have a bad head this morning.”
Alexander frowned. It was true, hedidhave a bad head. But more than that, he was so wholly unprepared for her to think of him like this.
“You stayed because you thought I was uncomfortable?” he asked.
“Yes. Did I do something wrong?”
Yes. He wanted to throw the contents of the room around and toss her out on her heels and stop having to think about her and Helena in the same space. He wanted to never confront the fact he had married again after so long—and all his vows tothe contrary—and he especially wanted to forget how much he desired her.
But no. She had done nothing wrong, and if he relaxed his guard even for a second, he could appreciate all the things she had done for him thus far. Coming in here, staying with him, caring for him, even when he had been borderline inhumane to her.
It was more than he deserved.
Ignoring his pounding head, he dropped to his knees beside her. “How’s your neck?” he asked. “You shouldn’t have stayed in here with me.”
Her gaze flew to meet his.
“Why?” she whispered. “Because you think it’s improper?”
“Because I won’t have you making yourself uncomfortable for my sake.” He blew out a tight breath. “How was the dinner yesterday?”
“Illuminating. Mr. Godwin truly does love Eliza, doesn’t he?”
“If he does, he hasn’t admitted as much to me.” Alexander sat back on his heels and watched her for a long moment. She watched him back, and for the first time, he felt as though they were stripped of artifice in this dusty room. Not husband and wife mired in hurt and resentment, but two people seeing each other for the first time.
“I am sorry for the way I treated you last year,” he finally said.
She raised a brow. “You mean, for leaving me?”
“Yes.”
“Why did you do it?”
That was a question he could not answer, especially not here and now. So, he merely held out a hand and helped her to her feet. “Come with me. We should get you out of that dress.”
Although she accepted his hand, he saw the line between her brows. “Do you not like it?” she asked.
The problem was not that hedidn’tlike it—the problem was that he liked it altogethertoomuch.
“I do,” he answered eventually. “But you ought not to sleep in your gowns, even the pretty ones.”
At that, her lips quirked into a slight smile. “I think Eliza and Mr. Godwin are due to call today,” she added. “Before we leave.”
Ah yes. Their leaving.
He glanced at her as he walked her out of the room, shutting and locking the door carefully behind him. The truth was, he hadn’t fully settled on a course of action. Godwin wanted him to staymarried to her, and heaven knew that was what she wanted—or at least, she wanted to remain here, which could only happen if she was his wife still.
The question was, would he allow her? Would he take himself out of her life entirely and allow her this?
Or would he ignore the gnawing guilt and insist that they leave together immediately?
Somehow, he couldn’t quite bring himself to do that.
Perhaps it was the bad head.
“I think,” he murmured, striving to sound apologetic, “that I am not feeling up to traveling after all.”
“Oh!” Perhaps he was imagining it, but he fancied her hand tightened on his arm. “You must truly be feeling terrible, then.”
