Page 12 of Spirit Witch
‘Other cultures revere their ancestors.’
I nodded. ‘You want reverence. Check.’ I paused. ‘How would you like that?’
‘Do you know what the Chinese do?’
‘Er…’
‘Speak properly, girl! “Er” is not a word! The Chinese provide sustenance for their forebears. They have shrines in their houses. They make offerings and they treat their ancestors with respect! And what do we get? A couple of graveside visits if we’re lucky and then we’re consigned to history.’
‘You want a shrine?’ I turned my head to the wall. ‘You have a portrait. People pass by it every day. It can’t be that bad.’
Grenville’s bushy eyebrows drew together. ‘This is not just about me!’ he barked. ‘This is abouteveryghost. I’m speaking on behalf of all of them.’
‘All ghosts want shrines? Or portraits?’
‘They want to be remembered!’
Ah. That made sense. ‘Okay.’
‘I’m still not done.’ He fixed me with his yellow stare. ‘This part is the most important. We want our descendants to release us from whatever curses or vows are keeping us in this…’ his mouth turned down ‘…place. That way we can move on. We will tell you who to talk to and what they need to do. They will do it and we will pass on to the next plane.’
I was thoroughly confused. ‘The next plane? Aeroplane?’
A spasm of anguish crossed Grenville’s features. ‘Why you? Out of all the people we could have had, why did we get you?’
‘I’m starting to ask myself the same question,’ I grumbled.
He shook his head in irritation. ‘The next plane of existence! The place where we are supposed to be!’
At risk of being shouted at again, I asked another question. Just for clarification, it would be useful to know if Grenville here was destined for the fiery pits of Satan because he was an evil bastard. ‘The place you’re supposed to be is … heaven?’ I hedged. ‘Or hell?’
He sighed. ‘It’s a much more complicated concept than that. Your tiny brain would not be able to comprehend the truth. In any case, you don’t need to know the specifics, you just need to help us move on. We have established a system. Old-timers get priority. They talk to you, you talk to their families. Everybody’s happy.’
I passed a hand in front of my eyes while Winter nudged me in the ribs. ‘What’s going on?’
‘In a nutshell,’ I said, ‘there are a bunch of ghosts trapped here in this existence. They’ve effectively unionised in order to improve their lot and move onto the next, uh, plane.’
For the first time, Winter looked less wary and more interested. ‘So Old Ipsissimus Grenville is the union rep?’
‘You could put it like that. The trouble is,’ I continued, glancing at the ghost, ‘there’s only one of me. I have better things to do than spend the rest of my life helping out you lot. I’m not unsympathetic to your cause but there are thousands of you. I can’t drop everything and help you out. I don’t have the time.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘Because it would take my lifetime.’ Actually, I couldn’t abandon them now, any of them, but I needed Grenville to appreciate what a massive undertaking this would be.
‘We are not idiots. We will space out our requests.’
‘Yeah, but…’
He sighed. ‘The living are all the same. They only think of themselves.’ He sniffed loudly. ‘We expected this. We are prepared to help you in return.’
‘Help me how? I asked, cautious now.
‘Not you specifically. All of you.’ He waved his arms around. ‘Come on. Let’s be having you.’
I frowned. ‘Eh?’
‘Not you,’ he snapped at me. He gestured at nothing. ‘Over here.’
