Page 31 of Wicked Devotion
“And Cabrera, you better fix your attitude. I am your superior and don’t even start bringing up Cantrell. I don’t give a shit about your contract. This ismytask force, not Cantrell’s. Maybe Max should read you the definition of insubordination.”
Logan shoves stacks of paper to the side, and some sheetssail down to the floor when he puts his fists on the table, leaning closer to Rockwell.
“Wanna discuss this now, Arthur?”
“Get out of my fucking office,” Rockwell says, standing up from his chair.
“Thought so,” Logan says with a dismissive huff. He turns around and walks over to the door, looking at Charlie with raised eyebrows. “Hunter, google the definition of the word sanctimonious for the old man,” he adds before he leaves the office and slams the door shut behind him.
I wonder if this is going to be my life from now on; uncomfortable and goddamn confusing.
13
MAX
God, how badly I want to yell at someone. I don’t know what’s worse, Rockwell berating me in front of the others, the way Logan was once again unnecessarily confrontational after bringing his point across, or the message the 203 left for Lily.
I’m just glad she didn’t see it. Her hand is shaky in mine, her face so pale, like she’s close to throwing up, and what a useless man I would be if I made things even more difficult for her. So, no yelling.
Something is going on between Logan and Rockwell, and this time, it’s more severe than Logan’s usual problem with authorities. Sure, Rockwellisour superior, but we’re all friends. Something resembling a slightly dysfunctional family on most days, but there’s no way I could ever tell Logan that his behavior toward Rockwell was indeed a bit disrespectful.
In a silent attempt to straighten things up a little, I bow down to pick up the papers Logan sent flying. My eyes linger on the heavily redacted documents, and Rockwell snatches them out of my hand without a word of explanation. Theyland in a drawer with more folders before Rockwell slams it shut and leaves the office with Charlie in tow.
“You know what that’s about?” I ask Sam, who doesn’t react. “Something about the old task force?” I try again, but all I get is a flick of his wrist.
Fine.
Nice to see that I’m still sitting at the kids’ table next to Charlie. That I’m still Max, who can’t be trusted with grown-up shit because I am apparently something lesser. With a frown, I wonder if this will ever change.
While my classmates went to parties or tried out everything the local drug dealer had to offer, I rebelled by joining the military. My childhood was filled with love and affection, but I always felt like something was missing.
I wanted to be taken seriously, to show my worth. Still, the qualifications barely made a difference, as did the blood on my hands. My box got bigger, now adorned with medals and badges, but at the end of the day, it’s a box I somehow can’t escape.
Pulling Lily after me, I leave Rockwell’s office and stop briefly once I spot him and Charlie in the hallway.
“She’s sleeping in my room,” I state.
“I would prefer it if we got a separate room—“
Yeah, and I would prefer to be informed about the weird things going on,I think as Lily and I continue to walk to the stairwell.
Lily is quiet as a mouse, or maybe my thoughts are just too loud because as we reach the third floor, I hear her calling my name.
“Max, I’m sorry,” she says, out of breath and her eyes filled with tears. “I am so sorry for the chaos I caused. I should leave. This is only going to get worse.”
“I don’t want to hear any of that,” I say, pulling her in for a hug. “If one of the others, even for a moment, makesyou feel like this is your fault, you tell me. Immediately. Okay?”
Lily nods, her face nuzzled against my chest, and I hope she knows that those aren’t empty words. Her husband is responsible for the situation she’s in. Hell,Iam responsible, but Lily is the last one to blame.
Things had already been off before she stepped into my life, but at least Lily doesn’t confuse me. For her, I am an adult, someone who gives her a sense of safety, and it feels fucking good to fill this role for once.
We walk the rest of the way to the storage room in silence, and with every step, Lily gets more antsy.
“How big of a problem would it be if I stayed here?” She asks, and I sigh. “It’s comfortable, and I’m sure you’d prefer not having to share your room.”
Trying to hide my disappointment about her statement, I pick up her things before turning her way. “I wouldn’t have offered it if I had a problem with it. But if you don’t feel comfortable sharing a room with me, I can sleep over at Logan’s.”
Damn, the thought of her not wanting me near hurts more than I’d expected.
