Page 42 of Demon Queen
I hurried over to Regis and grabbed his arm. It felt like real skin. Normal. So weird. “Roberta,” I said, forcing a smile as I stared into those manic Roberta eyes. “I have a few things to go over with you today. We’re going to automate the ordering system.”
He nodded, still smiling, only somehow even larger. He looked completely insane, only Roberta. “I am at your disposal, my Queen.”
Things got blurry around the edges for a second, but I ignored the fainting impulse and dragged her/him with me around the shop, explaining everything as quickly as possible. Demons were supposed to be clever. If he couldn’t figure things out with my whirlwind demo, he wasn’t fit to lead the candy crew.
I was showing him the ropes while Dorian vanished most of his extra crew. That was a relief.
We went upstairs to the office and were alone, door closed. His Roberta face melted into the demon, Regis, only he looked brighter, all cherry jam lips and cheeks with pale peppermint-green skin.
“Are you a zombie?” I asked.
He smiled showing sharp bright white teeth. “No, this is my candy cane man glamour, more appropriately crafted to suit your candy kingdom. Tell me, Candy Queen, are you hungry?” His eyes twinkled as he leaned forward, and I smelled cherry-mint candy.
I lurched back, hit my desk and sprawled over on it awkwardly in my casual duchess panniers. No panniers were casual enough for this nonsense.
“Are you insane?” I hissed, looking at the door. It was closed, but couldn’t demons hear through closed doors? “Dorian shouldn’t trust me alone with you. You didn’t tell him that the last time we spoke, it was death threats.”
He moved away from me until he was against the shelf, leaning back with crossed arms. “Your Dorian trusts me with you because I’ve sworn myself in service to him. He is King of the Demons, after all.”
I got off the desk in an avalanche of papers. I sighed and then bent down in the ridiculous dress to pick everything up. The papers kept sliding under the skirt, like I was cursed. Finally, I had everything back where it belonged and turned to see that he was still there, watching me with eyes that flickered with something creepy. Was that a candy cane spiral in his pupil? No. Absolutely not.
“What is this glamour?” I asked, gesturing at him.
“I am your candy man,” he said with a shrug. “Do you want to see me without any glamour?”
I waved a hand around. “No, it’s fine. It’s good, particularly if you still have enormous gouges out of your face from… Did you tell him?” I needed to know what to freak out about first.
His candy-cane eyes were spiraling. So was I. “I would not tell Drigo anything he doesn’t already know.”
“So, what did you tell him? About the bedroom.”
He gave me a faint smile and then with a slight shimmer, he turned into a shirtless demon, mint skin, but with elaborate bright red markings all over that shifted as I watched, changing shape. His tail flicked at a paper under the desk I’d missed, sending it up towards me. I caught the paper as it floated down, smoothing it down on the stack before I turned towards him and his handy extra limb. His tail didn’t have any jagged spikes or barbs, almost like he wasn’t built for war.
“I told him that if he needed a steward, I would serve him well. I didn’t mention the bedroom, and neither did Straldi. He took care of me so Drigo never needs to know about your impulses, at least not from me.”
“Steward? Is that like the person who takes care of the luggage?”
He flashed sharp teeth. “It’s like the person who takes care of everything. Details. I’m very good with details.”
He reached past me and reorganized the papers in a shuffle that looked accidental, but ended with all of them precisely how they’d been before they’d fallen off the desk, actually organized instead of just haphazardly retrieved.
I stared at him, my heart pounding more rapidly. “You’re saying that you can actually replace Roberta as an efficient general manager?”
“Indeed. I may be able to manage this automated payroll you mentioned without any supervision whatsoever. Of course, that wouldn’t be playing bodyguard, and Drigo was very clear about you needing a bodyguard desperately so that the next time youhurl yourself off a cliff and into a vampire dungeon to visit Lord Rabbit, you aren’t marred.” He gestured at my arm, the one like Frankenstein’s monster. Or Frankenstein. If I wanted to call it Frankenstein, that was my prerogative.
“How do you think you could stop me? I’d just eat you unconscious before I hurled myself off a cliff.”
He absently moved papers around until it was in much more controlled chaos. “Would you? Usually angels don’t feed so ferociously on anyone other than the king. I needed it, though. I don’t need it now. Maybe a nibble now and again to keep me sharp.” His lips curved into this creepy smile that gave Cheshire cat vibes. “I am currently extremely sharp.”
My skin prickled with the weirdness, also with the creep factor. I shook it off. I had no time for that. “What kind of demon are you? Are you a lie demon? Because that sounded like a big fat lie. Also creepy and weird.”
His eyes twinkled. “My Queen, I am absolutely not a lie demon. Although if I were, I wouldn’t tell you, would I? No, I’m a chaos demon. That is, I turn chaos into order, specifically when it comes to running the demon kingdom. Demons are chaos. I feed on demons. Not you. Of course not. A demon would have to be truly fallen to feed from the last…”
I slapped my hand over his mouth and stared at him while my breathing got tricky and my heart lurched around all over the place. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I pulled my hand back then rubbed it on my dress.
He nodded. “Good. The last thing we need is the Zombie Queen to attack before Drigo has properly organized. If she knew what you were, if she had an inkling, she would not rest until your heart was in her hand. And then she’d eat it. All of you, really, but slowly. She’d relish consuming your…”
Again my hand was over his mouth before I realized what I was doing. His brows rose over his cherry red eyes while his tail lashed back and forth.
