Page 74 of Arranged Control
“Good.”
I don’t move. I don’t want to go upstairs to that empty room. I want my wife. I want to pull her against me in the middle of the night and kiss her mouth. I want her to know how badly I want her, but I can’t do it, not right now.
I’m dangerous.
Molchanie seems to care about Alina for whatever reason, but I’m afraid of what’ll happen if I keep getting close to her.
It might cloud my judgment. Or worse, it might make Molchanie decide that she doesn’t want Alina alive anymore after all.
I don’t know the stakes here, and until I do, I have to act like the worst-case scenario is possible.
And that’s Alina with her throat cut open.
“Did you wait up for me?” I hate myself for asking. I shouldn’t even be talking to her right now. I need to keep my distance so I can think clearly.
“Don’t flatter yourself.” She snaps her book shut. “Just couldn’t sleep.”
“Been hard lately.”
“No thanks to you.”
“Alina—”
“Whatever, it’s fine.” She turns off the TV and gets off the couch. “I’m heading up.”
I watch her stride past me with her chin raised. I want to reach out and grab her wrist so badly it hurts. If I could press my lips to hers, she might understand. I’m not putting distance between us because I want to. I’m doing it because I’m toxic right now.
It kills me as much as it hurts her.
Probably even worse.
I let her pass. I watch her go. There’s nothing in this world I want more than to crawl into bed with her tonight.
Instead, I slink upstairs after she’s had a chance to get settled and disappear into the empty guest room.
Chapter 24
Alina
“You’re doing it again.” Kira leans against the display at my elbow, gesturing at the pile of sweaters on the folding board in front of me. “You’re stressing about something.”
“I’m so bad at hiding it.”
“Seriously, you’re walking around with a big glowing sign on your chest.”
“I need to take acting lessons or something.”
“Please don’t. It’s endearing. You wouldn’t be you without some casual stress cleaning.”
I sigh and push the sweaters aside. But that makes their stack get all wonky, and I have to spend a few seconds fixing it. Kira watches, shaking her head.
“Would you be shocked if I said it involves Seamus?”
“Not in the least. Come on, tell me about it.”
She leads me up front. It’s ten minutes before we close the shop for lunch, and no guests are around. “I don’t even knowwhere to begin if I’m honest. He’s been distant lately. Some stuff happened a few days ago?—”
“Some stuff?” Kira interrupts. “That’s pretty vague.”
