“Fuck me,” she demands again.
I prop myself up on my hands over her and pound into her. Immediately, her moans increase. It feels harsh and impersonal, and she still won’t look at me.
“Yes.” Jess wraps her legs around my waist and yanks me to her. I can barely move anymore, but the feeling is electrifying, being buried so deep in her pussy that I can’t escape. Already, I’m throbbing like I’m a stroke away from coming.
Then, Jess opens her eyes and looks at me. “Yes, fuck me, Axel.”
It takes a second for me to process what she said, but Jess has lifted her hips up, and she’s slamming into me, holding me close with her legs and squeezing my dick so hard I come. I grunt, erupting into the condom while she pulls me in further. The orgasm takes me without my permission, and the pleasure is harsh and quick. I feel her pulsing around me, and when I come back down, the world is spinning even more.
Axel. She called me Axel.
Jess doesn’t seem to notice. She’s limp again, her legs letting go of me, and her eyes are still closed.
I pull out of her, confused. The high I just felt is crashing, and suddenly, things don’t feel so good anymore.
She called me my brother.
I pull the condom off and yank my pants back up, turning to check on Jess. She’s patting around for her clothes, and she peeks at me. “You okay?”
“I…”
She stares at me.
I feel the high tumbling further and further out of reach. Why did I think this was a good idea? She can’t even tell us apart? My thoughts spiral, and I wonder if she is only with me because I look like my brother.
“Was that good for you?” she asks.
I swallow.
“You know you can go harder.” She pulls her shirt over her head. “He always—I like to be thrown around.”
My face heats. She wants to be thrown around? And was she talking about Axel? Axel threw her around, and she wants me to do that, too?
I don’t even think I want to. I wouldn’t know where to start, and I don’t want to hurt her.
Where there once was a rush of euphoria, I now feel sadness sinking in, and in a horrifying turn of events, I feel like crying. Heat pricks at my eyes, and I straighten.
No. I will not be weak. No one can see me cry.
There’s an awkward silence, then Jess says, “I’m just gonna… go back downstairs.”
I don’t argue with her. She used me because of my brother. She didn’t like me for me. I was a fool to even think that.
It makes me angry, and I want to scream and yell. Throw things. Purge the feelings that are bubbling up in my chest.
A week later, she’s back with Axel, and I learned that even though I may see the best in someone, it doesn’t mean they see the best in me.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
My head still hurts from the other day. I almost called Raven to cancel, but I’m not nearly prepared enough for this case. All I know is that I can’t sit in that coffee shop again with all the noise. And I don’t want to ask Mom to drive me. She’ll ask questions that I don’t want to answer. For where Mom is concerned, my life is fine, I have no complications, and there is absolutely no woman.
Fuck. I don’t want Raven here.
I go to the cabinet, grabbing some pain relievers that I always keep on the top shelf immediately closest to the right edge of the cabinet. I toss a handful back. My clock chimes, telling me it’s almost nine. If I’m going to change venues, I have to do it now.
Fucking Christ above.
I grab my phone, angrily stabbing in Raven’s number.