Page 3 of Wanna Play A Game?
I’ve never seen him quite this bad. Alarms ring in my head. My back hits the wall, and he slams both his hands next to my head with a bang.
I flinch.
Ben sees it. He smirks and lowers his head down so he’s looking into my eyes. “I work fucking hard all day, and you’d think I could get a girlfriend who cares? Even just a little bit? But fuck, clearly that’s impossible! How much effort does it take to keep that slutty pussy away from other men?” His breath is sour, and he smells like sweat.
“What the hell, I—“
“Shut up!” He roars and slams his hand into the wall behind me again and again, making it shake. “Listen when I’m talking to you.”
My body trembles. For a second, I see another face screaming at me. But in my memory, I’m smaller, and there’s no place to run from the bruises. There never was.
Spittle hits my face, and I realize I’m back in the apartment with Ben yelling over me. Rage floods through me. This is not going to happen again.
I shove both my hands into him as hard as I can. “Get away from me!”
His hand comes so fast I can’t stop it. It cracks into the side of my face, and my head flings to the side. Tears well in my eyes, and I feel sick for a second.
I take a minute to catch my breath, then wheeze out a laugh, “You hit like a bitch.”
Suddenly, hands are at my throat, slamming me back against the fridge. I cough, the pressure crushing my windpipe. Ben is screaming something at me, but I can’t tell what. I scratch and claw at his arms and face. The world feels fuzzy the longer he squeezes. I kick and claw, but my ears start ringing. They ring, and I feel warm. No, I’m hot, I’m burning up. And floating.
Suddenly, he lets go.
I slump down, and Ben follows me, holding my arms. “Oh fuck, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean—fuck!”
I cough multiple times, blinking the kitchen back into focus.
“Baby. Baby, can you hear me?”
I glance at Ben. He has tears in his eyes. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I mixed beer and whiskey and it always does that to me. If you hadn’t talked back, that wouldn’t have happened. You know better than that.”
My ears have stopped ringing, but the fuzziness still remains.
It happened again. I promised myself things were going to be different now. I promised.
My throat squeezes, and I swallow. I push back into the living room. Ben follows me, wailing and grabbing my hand.
I snatch it back, yanking my keys from the table.
“No, baby, where are you going?” He jumps in front of me.
“Out. I need a minute.”
“No, please, I didn’t mean it! Don’t leave me, baby, I love you. You’re my everything. Please, baby.”
He snatches at my keys. Thankfully, he’s too drunk to get them from me. I grab my phone from the couch.
“I’m just going for a drive.” I rush out the front door, hitting the unlock button on my car over and over.
“No, wait, let’s talk about this. I’ll make this better, I promise.” The sound of his footsteps is heavy and fast.
I sprint to my car, throwing the door open and locking it after me.
Ben slams into the window, rocking the car with the force of his chase. “Please, Cali, I’ll do anything. I love you! You’re my eternity. Please don’t leave me.”
My hands shake as I put the keys in the ignition. Stupid fucking hands. I’m not even that scared. This has happened before. Not with him, but still. It didn’t even hurt that bad.
I take a deep breath before turning the key over and putting the car in gear.
