Page 71 of Better Run
Sage gives me a terrified look. It makes me angry. All I see when I look at her is the texts between her and my mother. Grief hits me in the gut. Was my mother afraid when she realized she couldn’t breathe?
I throw her over my shoulder and march inside.
It’s darker here, and I have to blink to adjust. We go past the stairs and to the run-down living room. Cole has Jo on one of the folding chairs. She’s seething. I grab ahold of her anger like it’s a tangible thing and let it wash over my sadness.
I set Sage down on the couch gently. Not because I care how she feels. But I don’t want to leave any bruises on her body. What cushions the couch does have are wrapped in black trash bags that are ripped in various places. Sage struggles to get away, but she’s weak and dope sick.
“It’s time, Sage.”
She spits at me. It lands on the floor by my boot. I look at it, putting on a bored expression. Movement catches my eye, and I see the fire in Jo. Good. Part of me hates myself for putting her through this. I shove that feeling away.
I reach into my pocket and pull out a baggie. Inside are pills. I shake them in Sage’s face.
“Fuck you,” she growls. But I can see she wants them. Needs them.
I kneel down to her level and lean into her. Over her shoulder, I make eye contact with Jo. I speak low. “This is the exact same amount you gave my mother.” Jo’s eyebrows raise. Despite my efforts, my chest hurts.
I sense that Sage has gone incredibly still.
I keep looking at Jo. “I’ve built back up your tolerance. Who knows. Maybe it won’t kill you.”
Sage shudders. I see Jo battle against herself. She can’t decide whether to fight or shut down. I wink at her. She stiffens.
I turn back to Sage. “My mom was clean. For the first time in her life, she was clean. And you ruined that.” Pain wraps my heart in searing heat.
All the fight leaves Sage. It disgusts me. I toss a water bottle at her. “You’ll swallow all of them. You can thank me. If I made you snort them, you’d definitely die.”
“Please, don’t do this,” she sobs weakly. The weakness makes rage fill me.
“Wasn’t fucking step-daddy enough? What, I didn’t pay enough attention to you, so you had to go after my mom too? And then,then. You text mydeadmother a video of you kissing another girl to make me jealous because you know I have her phone. There was no ‘please’ then.”
All of the emotions that I try to keep buried down are boiling. I have to look at the wall. I see Cole looking at me. He’s sad. We lock eyes and hold. Then I look at my little kitten. There’s a war of emotions in her eyes. I see pity.
That tips me over the edge. I don’t need pity. I snatch up Sage’s hair and tilt her head back. “Take the pills, or I’ll force them down your throat,” I hiss.
She struggles weakly.
“Fine.” I snatch up the bag.
“No!” Jo jumps up from the chair, but Cole grabs her around the waist, dragging her back against his body. She’s fully lost it, struggling and fighting and tearing. She looks like a wild animal.
Her panic tugs at me. I hate seeing her like that. Afraid, yes. But not so far gone she loses herself. And I hate that she’s affecting me.
I grip Sage’s jaw in anger and force her mouth open.
“Stop. Jayden, please. Please stop.”
I look up. Jo has torment all over her face. She’s fighting. It feels like the world slows. For a second, I think about listening to the girl who took my life by storm. The girl whose sass and fight and hate have breathed life into my dead soul. I actually think about giving up my revenge. I shake myself. This plan was the only thing that pulled me out of my depressive slump. The only thing I thought about every night…until I saw Jo’s beautiful face in that video. This and Cole were the only thing that kept me out of an early grave. But Sage knows about Pat. And if she told, the cops would take me and Cole away from my kitten. She can’t live.
I look at Cole. “Shut her up.”
He wraps his hand around Jo’s mouth. I force the pills into Sage’s mouth and clasp my hand over her mouth and nose. She fights and struggles for so long that I think she’ll pass out. Finally, I feel her struggle to swallow. She chokes on the amount and the dry swallowing. I don’t care.
Once I make sure she’s swallowed them all, I drop her back on the couch. I stand over her so she can’t vomit them up again. I wait until she droops and then wait some more. It takes forever. She passes out, her breathing slow. I drop the empty baggie near her hand. My mom had to die alone. So will Sage. I’ll deal with her body later.
It’s only then that I look at Jo. I expect hate, anger, horror. I see nothing. She looks at me blankly. It’s a thousand-yard stare.
“Let’s go.” I motion for Cole to follow.
