Page 15 of Anarchy
Chapter Seven
Emma
There are more people in here than I have seen before. I scan the room trying to find Mikey, and I see him at the bar. He's sitting with his back to me, talking to another brother, bee in hand. Lucy and I start to walk toward them and the closer I get the more nervous I become. The guy he's talking to nudges him and nods in our direction. Mikey turns around, and his eyes go wide as he looks at me.
He stands up walking over to use. “Emma, you look…” his eyes travel up and down my body and as much as it feels like I should I resist the urge to cover up. “Amazing.”
"I'll leave you two," Lucy says before walking over toward the group of girls I met yesterday.
“So you really like it? The outfit is something I got today.” I pull at the hem of the shirt.
“You look absolutely gorgeous, but just so you know…” he takes a step closer to me bending his head low to my ear. “I think you look gorgeous even without all this.” He pulls away with a smile.
“Thanks.” I can feel how red my cheeks must be and I’m praying that the makeup is able to hide it. “So I noticed you got a new jacket. It looks nice.” I smile hoping to ease the awkward silence.
He laughs, but I'm not really sure why. "So the one I used to wear was my prospect jacket. It meant that I wanted to be a brother, but I was still in my trial period. Being a prospect is like the lowest man on the totem pole. You get all the crap jobs, and you're not considered an actual member of the club. I was given this one this morning. It means I'm officially a brother now."
“That’s great!” I give him a hug and notice that he doesn’t really return it. I pull away quickly not really understanding his reaction.
Mikey offers me a smile, but it feels like something is wrong. "I need to go talk to a few people. I'll come find you later, okay?"
I nod not trusting my voice. He walks away and heads over to where Lucy and Whip are now standing. Looking behind me I see Tracy and a couple of the other girls. I wander over hoping to blend in and not look as completely confused as I feel.
“Have to say MJ, you can totally pull this look off.” Nikki smiles at me, great the nickname has actually caught on. “Plus I hear you got your man assigned a road name too. Busy day for you.”
“He’s not…I mean we’re not…” I trip over my words trying to explain something that even I don’t understand.
"Whatever you say, girl, we all have eyes." She nods toward Mikey, and I look over at him.
When our eyes meet, I can feel the emotion and tension. It's like an invisible rope pulling me toward him. He looks away, and I instantly think maybe it's all just in my head.
One of the barely dressed girls walks up to him, and I find myself unable to look away.
“Anybody fill you in on them yet?” Nikki asks.
I shake my head no as I stare at the woman. She is wearing a black leather skirt that's so short it stops just below her butt. Her shirt basically looks like a lace bikini, and she has the highest heels on that I've ever seen.
"That's Mac, she's one of the club girls. They are here to keep the single brothers satisfied if you know what I mean." I look at her not really getting it. "Right, you don't. They sleep with the boys, different one each night, multiple ones each night, it doesn't matter. That's what they're here for."
“What? Why?” I look back at her my eyes wide. She’s standing next to Mikey her hand on his arm as she whispers something in his ear.
“Because the club takes care of them, somewhere to stay, food, and money in their pocket. It’s completely voluntary, and they are free to leave whenever they want.” Nikki shrugs, “not my cup of tea, but to each their own.”
"I'm going to go grab something to drink." I walk away getting a bottle of water from one of the coolers. Looking back I see that Mac is still standing next to Mikey. That’s the kind of girl he wants, but that will never be me. Maybe I was just kidding myself. He probably sees me as some kid that he feels bad for. I was fooling myself to think I fit in here.
I walk back to my room, increasing my pace as I feel the tears start to form. I scrub all of the makeup off my face and throw on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. As I lay down, I've never felt more alone in my life. The tears start to fall as I remember my sisters and I all doing each others hair, helping my brothers learn to tie their shoes, and knowing that when I came home from school, I'd find my dad sitting in his chair with my mom's bible. Now they’re gone, and I’m alone.
I cry until there is nothing left inside of me. The entire three days I traveled here that's really all I did. I stuck to the woods or walking along a road instead of on it. Their memory pained my entire body, but it was also the only thing that kept me going.
My eyes start to feel heavy as I drift off and I see my father’s face.
There is a loud banging at my door.
I back away tripping over something on the floor before I fall back against the wall.
The banging continues, but now the door jumps each time.
I pull my legs to my chest silently praying for whoever it is to just go away.
