Page 2 of Reckless
One week later
I check the time on my phone and bite my bottom lip in anticipation and nervousness. Tony should be home any minute. My mind drifts to the plan I set up downstairs, and I hope he likes his surprise.
It's Valentine's Day, and he had to work. He works at a hospital and doesn't usually get home until four in the morning. We've been fighting lately and with his threat of divorce last week, things just haven't been the same, so I thought I might try to surprise him.
I went out today and got some of his favorite chocolate and whiskey. They’re arranged on our living room table with a card. I picked out one talking about how after all these years and all the struggles, he’s still the man I love and want to spend my life with. At the bottom of the card, I wrote a note:
Some say to fight your cravings; tonight I want you to indulge.
Whiskey, chocolate, and sex.
Come upstairs…
I hear the door open and close downstairs. Taking a deep breath, I stand up, positioning myself in front of the bed. I bought a new piece of lingerie for tonight which I haven't done in years. It's red lace, the top wrapping around my neck with just small pieces of fabric covering my breasts. The lace continues covering my torso, and only about half covers my butt. I feel so good about myself for the first time in a long time. I want tonight to be a turning point for us.
The creak of the stairs has my breath speeding up, and as the door opens, Tony is standing there, but I can't read the expression on his face. "Shit," is all he says but the tone of his voice doesn't ease my nerves.
"Happy Valentine’s Day," I say in the sexiest voice I can manage with the tension.
“Fuck, you need to put this on.” He grabs my robe off of the bedroom door and tosses it to me. I catch it but don’t make a move. I feel frozen.
“I’m serious, Carly. You need to cover yourself up.” He walks over to the closet and kicks off his shoes.
Any confidence I had in myself rushes out of my body. I slip the robe on and sit down on the edge of the bed. I dare a glance over at him, and he's just standing there looking at me.
"I can't keep pretending like this with you. I've been having an affair, and I made the decision tonight that I'm choosing to pursue that. I know you don't have anywhere to go right now, so I don't expect you to leave tonight. We are over though." He walks out of the room, and I hear the sink turn on as well as the sound of him brushing his teeth.
I can’t even process what he just said to me. I must have heard him wrong. There must be something else going on.
He walks back into the room and stops once he sees me. "I'm tired from working all night. If you aren't going to sleep, you need to go downstairs." He climbs into bed and slips under the sheets.
“I just…I don’t understand.” It’s all I can manage.
A loud groan comes from him as he sits up. "You don't understand what? How I could want to move on? Our sex life is fucking terrible. We fight all the time.
“Most importantly, I'm just not attracted to you anymore. I can't keep pretending like I am, like I want to kiss you or tell you I love you. I don't." His tone is so flat and uncaring.
Tears start to fall from my eyes although the pain and sadness still aren’t there. I’m completely numb and confused. “How did this all happen? How long?”
"Not that it matters, but it's been about a month. We work together, we've had sex several times there since she gets done with her shift sooner than me. I haven't been going out with the guys. I've been seeing her." I look over at him, barely able to see through my tears. "I really like her, and it's not fair to her that I stay with you."
"Not fair to her?" I say quietly. "What about me!" I scream, and he jumps.
“I don’t know what to tell you. Things have been shitty for a long time. That’s why I’ve been such an asshole lately. I honestly thought you’d have enough respect for yourself to just leave.”
The pain is starting to come. It feels like a knife stabbing me and dragging down my heart, completely tearing me apart.
“Shit is done. You can’t save it. I’m tired. Go to bed or go downstairs.” He lays back down and turns away from me.
I stand up, my legs shaky and reach for the doorknob.
"Carly?" he says my name, and it hurts, but I almost want him to say that he was just kidding and he really does love me.
I turn back to him.
“Shut off the light.” Then he’s gone as he pulls the covers over his head. I silently cry as I reach for the light. Flipping it off, I walk out of the room and quietly shut the door.
I stand in the hallway for God knows how long.
“I can hear you! I’m trying to fucking sleep!” His voice booms from behind the door and I jump.
I didn't even know I was making noise. My feet carry me down the stairs while the rest of me feels as if it's in another world. Almost like I'm watching myself and praying none of this is real.
I grab my car keys and walk out of the house, the cold ground under my bare feet.
I don’t know where I’m going, but I need to get out of that house.
I pull out of the driveway.
Looking up, I see our bedroom window, and everything goes black.
