Page 23 of Havoc
“The bitch is raging hard today so watch it preggers.” Her hands go up in surrender as she tries to hold in more laughter.
We drive to the bridal store so that I can try on the dress from hell after they altered it. My mother is lucky she paid for this crap because I would have backed out as soon as I saw it and the price tag.
“Have fun!” Megan calls as she sits down in one of the chairs.
The saleswoman is helping me put this thing on. Once I turn and look in the mirror both of our faces drop. My mom had sent me a picture of the dress and had given the shop my measurements. This is worse than I could have imagined. It’s Pepto-Bismol pink, with big tulle sleeves. The tulle then wraps around the bodice until it gets to the waist and basically pukes everywhere.
“Come out!” I hear Megan call.
“Not a chance in hell.”
“Seriously? You have to wear this in front of a couple hundred people Sunday.” She is almost whining and I know I’ll eventually show her. I open the dressing room door and have to basically kick the thing just to walk.
Megan’s face drops as I walk out and stand on the little podium. “It’s super cute.”
“Fuck you. I look like the human incarnation of a unicorn shitting glitter.”
She bursts out laughing and it has to be a good minute before she stops.
“I cannot believe I seriously have to wear this shit. Charlotte is an evil bitch.” The saleswoman’s eyes widen as she looks at me. “Oh, please don’t pretend like you think this is cute. Just FYI, you may want to tell the buyer for this store that the 80s are dead and gone.” I go back into the dressing room half considering ripping the damn thing so I have an excuse to not wear it and stay home.
Leaving the shop my phone rings and I look down to see my mother has called for the tenth time since she heard Rock’s voice this morning. “Yes,” I say the irritation obvious in my voice.
“Christina Evanson, you have been ignoring my calls all morning. Now I want to know why and I want to know who that man is that said he would be your date.” Her demanding entitled bitchy tone sends me over the edge and I can’t stop my mouth.
“I ignore your calls all the time mother and that was my biker boyfriend. I’m turning my phone off. See you on Saturday.” We get in my car and Megan is looking at me shocked. “I know. I need a goddamn drink.” I look at her then her stomach. “You suck as a best friend.”
