Page 9 of Sever
You never expect the one person who is your entire world to make you feel like you’ve died, but that’s what I was like my entire senior year. I was a zombie. Nothing made me happy. He was the only person who liked me, so without him, I was always alone. I could have turned to food, but even back then, when he left, he took my appetite with him. I only ate when I felt like I might pass out if I didn’t.
My parents didn’t even notice. As far as they were concerned, the kids were still being taken care of so there was nothing to worry about. I was on the verge of giving up and no one even batted an eye. I think that’s what made me so determined to leave.
I had to get away from everything that reminded me of him.
Of us.
“Are you okay? You didn’t even touch your sandwich.”
I look up, the wrapper of my sandwich torn up, pieces of brown paper littering the table in front of me. Connor smiles and I instantly feel terrible.
“Sorry. I think I might be getting sick.”
I stand up, tucking the sandwich into my purse in case I get hungry later.
The rest of the day drags by with me watching the clock, counting the minutes until I can get out of here and go home. I need to talk to Chrissy. I need her to knock some sense into me, and smack the crap out of the weak wounded girl rearing her pathetic head.
By the time five o’clock rolls around, I’m so done it’s not even funny. I run by my favorite pizza place and then make a quick stop at the liquor store before heading home. Safe inside the cocoon of our apartment, I change into my comfy pants and old college sweater.
My comfort clothes.
“Okay I am ready to stuff my face with some curry and—” Her sentence dies off as she takes in my clothes and the box in front of me. “Shit. College sweater, pizza, and wine?” Her head cocks to the side as she tosses her purse on the couch. “What happened?”
“He’s back.”
It’s all I say, but it’s all I need to. Ryder is the only person I’ve ever been with. He’s the onlyheI would ever refer to.
“Shut the fuck up.” She waves at me to follow her to her room, and starts getting changed. “Where? How?”
I drop down on her bed. “He walked into my work.”
Her eyes widen. “No way.”
“The account is huge, and I got assigned to it.”
Her mouth drops open and I nod, leaning forward to pick up her jacket and hang it over the end of her bed. Her room is always so messy, half the time I feel like I’m back at home, cleaning up after someone all the time again. “Yup, and it’s a great opportunity if I can do it without killing him, or falling apart.”
“Killing him? A total possibility. Falling apart?” She points a finger at me and the look in her eyes tells me it isn’t in jest. “Don’t you dare. You have been there and suffered through that. Pull on your big girl panties and know that you have worked hard to get where you are. You are not going to let some douchebag ruin it all. Don’t give him that power. Now let’s shove our faces with crap that we are going to need to work off later.” She wraps her arm around me and squeezes.
“Thanks, Chris. I needed that.”
“No problem, but I have to ask one question.” I look over at her. “Did he at least get fat?”
“Nope. He’s just as badass and hot as ever.”
We go back out to the living room and attack the pizza. Chrissy goes out to the kitchen and comes back with the huge wine glasses and I remember that part of the reason I put up with her is her ability to know exactly what to do in a crisis.
“Oh, I didn’t tell you the craziest part. The account is for the MC he’s a part of.” I hold my glass up while she fills it almost to the brim.
“Shut up, like Sons of Anarchy? Ugh, I might need to pay him a visit.” My eyes widen. “What? I could tell him what a jackass he is and maybe find myself a hot, leather-wearing bad boy.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
She sits down and clinks her glass with mine, taking a big swig and winking at me. “Don’t pretend you weren’t as turned on by that show as I was.”
She wasn’t lying.
But the show was one thing. It wasn’t real life.
I spent the early part of my life thinking Ryder was someone I could run to. Now all I want to do is run away.
