Page 23 of Sever
Chapter Eleven
Megan
Saturdays mean a whole two days without me having to see Ryder, and that break could not have come at a better time. Having him come in here last night has really thrown me. A part of me wants to let him in again, to see if this is something that can really happen between us.
The other part thinks I’m a goddamn idiot.
I follow the scent of freshly brewed coffee down the hall and into the kitchen.
“Surprised to see you up already.”
I nod at Chrissy, earning a stabbing pain in my head from the bottle of wine I killed last night. I grab the Tylenol and pop some, hoping it works quickly. I launch right into it, not having the headspace for any kind of verbal filter. “I don’t know what to do. Not seeing him isn’t an option. I have to work with him. Every time I think about going there again, the fear is overwhelming.”
She pours another cup and hands it to me. “You can’t let fear dictate your life. If this is something you want, then maybe you need to give it a shot. You aren’t the same person you were back then. Maybe he isn’t, either.”
I drop my head into my hands. “He isn’t, he’s much more dangerous. Not only is he in this club that deals with all kinds of illegal stuff, but I already know how it feels to lose him. Going there would mean opening myself up to be crushed again, and that’s just something I can’t do, Chris.” I bite my lip, confusion and frustration making it hard for me to see any way forward.
“You’re assuming it won’t work.” We walk into the living room, sitting down on the couch. “What if it does?”
My hands tighten around my cup. “Then I might finally get what I wanted all those years ago. The only thing is, I don't know that he's still the person I wanted. Like you just said, time changes people. We might be completely incompatible now.”
She laughs. “Yeah, what I saw last night was two completely incompatible people.”
“Shut up.” I narrow my eyes and she holds her hands up.
“I’m just saying that he didn’t look like he’d be taking no for an answer anytime soon.”
My phone buzzes and I reach over, groaning when I see who it’s from.
Ryder: I want to see you today.
I saved his number after the first text. I don’t know why. It’s not like I’m ever going to call him. It does remove that element of surprise, though, so when I see his name I can mentally prepare myself.
I decide to not answer. I need time and space to figure out what I want. I know Chrissy wants me to look at it simply; if I want him, then be with him.
It isn't that cut and dry, though.
The sound of her cup hitting the coffee table startles me. “Okay, how about girls’ day? Hair, nails, shopping, the works.”
Another tick in the best friend box. Chrissy always knows just how to cheer me up. I swear I don’t know where I’d be without her. And who knows, maybe not thinking about Ryder for a whole day might make making a decision easier.
“Sounds perfect.”
I head into my room to get changed and when my phone buzzes from the nightstand, I ignore it. I slip on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt then walk out into the living room, leaving my still-buzzing phone on the bed.
“You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
Our first stop is the salon. There is something to be said for a trim and a manicure. I always feel nicer when my hands are pretty. I’ve been so busy with my career that I haven’t pampered myself much. Not that it’s a regular thing, anyway. Growing up with very little has made me very careful with my money. Treats are few and far between, but all the more appreciated because of it.
The salon is followed by stops at a ton of different stores. I really don’t need anything so I don’t buy much. Chrissy, however, seems to “need” something in pretty much every store we go in to. I just follow blindly.
That is, until she ducks inside a lingerie store.
“Why did we come in here?” I whisper, aware of just how quiet it is, and also of the sales assistant, whose eagle eyes are tracking us.
“So you can spice up your grandma underwear and bras. If you're gonna be showing them off they need to be cute.” She winks at me, lifting up something that can only be described as a scrap of material before shaking her head, putting it back, taking my hand and pulling me deeper into the store.
