Page 52 of Sexy Beginnings
Chapter Thirty-Five
Lucy
Two months later
Today is family barbecue day and I have been cooking all day. I hear the tell tale sound of Tracie’s heels clicking and smile. “Damn, girl, it smells fantastic in here.”
“Yeah, thanks for all your help,” I say sarcastically.
“Hey, you should be thankful that I didn’t help.” She grabs a few trays and we start to bring them out to the picnic table, wanting to get everything set up before the boys get back. They ended up getting delayed on their run but should be back soon. “You really outdid yourself today.”
I look at the three picnic tables set up with food, and that’s not counting what the other families will decide to bring. “I know, I guess I just wanted today to be special. It’s the first one since everything happened.”
She wraps her arm around my shoulder. “I know, Mama, and can I just say that you’ve been doing fuckin’ fantastic. I mean I loved you before but bad ass old lady Lucy rocks.”
I smile at her as we walk inside. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about the fact that you have really conquered your shit and come out on top. Not only that but you’ve changed for the better. You grew up and everyone’s seen it.” She grabs a couple of beers from behind the bar and hands me one.
“You gettin’ all sentimental and shit on me now?” I crook my head to the side.
“Hell no. Just happy to have my best friend again, and now this version likes to curse. I knew that boy would corrupt you.”
I smile at her. “I guess that depends on your definition. Most people think corruption is bad but if the club corrupted me, I swear I wouldn’t change a thing. I feel like in a way I was corrupted when I got here. My view of the world and the way it works was so far from normal.”
“If you think this shit is normal, Mary, we need to get your head checked.” She winks at me before walking away.
I hear the sounds of engines approaching and know it’s the guys. My anticipation to see Jordan grows. We have grown so much closer than we ever were before. I thought after I had pushed him away that we wouldn’t be able to get that back but things have been even better. The only thing that still stands between us is that we haven’t slept together and that’s on me.
I’m scared.
Scared of it hurting.
Scared that it will trigger a memory.
He has been so patient with me, more than I thought he would be. Never once has he gotten frustrated with me, or pushed me farther than I was ready to go.
The door opens and the boys start to pile in. I stand up, once I see him walk over.
Jordan picks me up pressing his mouth to mine. “God, I fuckin’ miss you when I’m gone.”
I smile against his mouth. “Then stop leaving.”
“Lucy, you trying to fatten us all up, girl?” Torch calls from the tables as the boys begin to swarm around the food. Cars start to pull in as the families begin to arrive.
“How was the run?” I hand Jordan my beer knowing he likes it more than me.
He takes a sip. “Long and lonely.” He sits down on a chair, pulling me onto his lap.
I turn my head to face him. “I was lonely here too.”
His arm tightens around me pulling me close to him. This is where I want to be every minute of the day. Pressed against him, in the place where I feel like no one can touch me. I miss being close to him in every way, even sexually. The way his hands used to touch me and hold me.
I try my hardest to rarely think of that time anymore. I’ve moved past it as best I could. This part of our relationship is the only lingering side effect. The only thing unresolved from that. I want to change that. I need to. I have let that part of my life hold us back for long enough. It’s time to fully be free.
I turn to Jordan. “I want you.”
“Sweets, you’ve had me since you were fourteen years old. Except, keep that quiet around Pres, he still thinks I was innocent ‘til you were eighteen.” He winks at me and I nudge him in the chest.
